you better be gunna church

gay culture is debating the sexuality of a girl you saw hours ago at tj maxx

honestly do u ever get to a point with a friend where u just realize “holy shit I don’t actually like you, like, at all”

u ever wear fingerless gloves and hold a hot drink and immediately feel like a 1900s victorian urchin taking a break from pickpocketing to gratefully accept a meal from the soup kitchen

you should ALWAYS use a condom unless it’s been explicitly discussed and you have decided otherwise as a couple! always!!!!!!!!!!

even if you’re lesbians???????

especially if you’re lesbians! if both of you get pregnant that’s twice as bad

me putting $10 of gas in my car: drink up you stupid bitch

Who names their character Susan

I’m poisoning an enchanted crossbow, which I gave a nickname to so I wouldn’t accidentally sell it. The name of the weapon is “delicious quinoa, Susan”.

every gamer’s reaction upon finding a blood-covered room: well that’s not good

I am pretty sure that is not exclusive just to gamers.

do u ever finish an episode of a tv show online and think “man that wouldve been a bad cliffhanger to wait a week for!” as you click the next episode

what the actual fuck

Men don’t know women can pee

ive been sitting on the toilet for 20 minutes trying to piss but the pee keeps getting lost in my confusing Woman Body

i haven’t peed in 16 days… my pee keeps running into the minotaur in the labyrinth that is my Womanly Excretory System

I weep bcause I think I hardly ever read anything funnier

I’m just a 75 year old man who loves a nice pretzel

i can’t believe i used to think people my age were adults

the older you are reading this post the funnier it is

gay culture is trying to telepathically communicate to visibly gay people you see in public that you’re one of them