Iâm so fucking sick of the bullshit men whine about on posts about female victims of male violence.
my mother was extremely abusive. she beat the shit outta me every day of my life, and would hit my dad. for me, being a kid, the abuse was traumatic and painful. my dad? hardly felt anything. my mom is 90 pounds soaking wet, and about 5'5. my dad is 200+ pounds and 6'0. it was like a fucking gnat punching him. all heâd do when she started hitting him was just walk away. thatâs literally it. heâd just walk away and close the door, or take me and weâd go out to get ice cream or something. sometimes, (very very rarely) heâd have to take hold of her wrists and pull them down to her sides and tell her to stop, but that was the extent of him being physical or âfightingâ back, and it hardly counts. besides that, he never touched her. he never, ever hurt her. he was never afraid of her. he knew she could never actually hurt him. he wasnât terrified of her, scared to come home after work, scared to be around her alone. he never hit her once. all these men saying âif she slaps me Iâm punching her in the jaw!â are nothing but pathetic men that get off on womenâs fear and abuse and dream of a day when they can hurt us without consequence (which, despite what they say, already happens daily.)
my father saved some money up (and he didnât do it secretly- most abusive men have complete control of the womanâs moneyâŚmy mother had no financial control over him in the slightest) and finally, he took me and we left. he wasnât afraid to leave her. for women, the most dangerous time in their relationship with an abusive husband/boyfriend is leaving them. we get murdered when we leave abusive relationships. my dad? took me and left, took the furniture, the cat, and our clothes. it was easy to prove my mother abused us, and so my dad got full custody of me, and my mother had to pay him child support. and that was it, the end of the relationship. I havenât talked to my mom in around 6 years, and the only time my dad ever talked to her after the final court hearing was when sheâd send him the monthly child support check, which have since stopped since Iâm now over 18.
she never tried to come after my dad. like I said, for women, leaving is the most dangerous part of the relationship. abusive men will stalk their victims, kidnap, rape, torture, murder us for leaving them. the only time she came after me was a few days after she lost custody of me. she was somehow able to get into my house. she woke me up by pulling me outta bed by my hair, and started screaming at me and punching me. I managed to get up. again, I was smaller than her, weaker, and I never hit her back. I was terrified, and still never hit her back. instead, I sorta led her across the room (as she was still hitting and punching and kicking me) and managed to shove her out my bedroom door, I then locked it and called the police. police came, took her away, and me and my dad decided not to press charges because it was more effort than it was worth.
my father has no fear of any women, never has, even after anything. when a woman yells, he doesnât flinch away or brace himself to be hit. heâs not afraid to be alone in a room with a woman. heâs hardly thought about my mom since the child support checks stopped. he didnât need therapy, pills, anything. she never put him in the hospital or left him with any injury. Iâve met many female victims who are the exact opposite. they fear men so much they shake at the thought of being alone with one, all because their husband tormented them day and night, a constant barrage of physical and mental abuse, along with keeping her trapped in the house/with him. most abusive men forcibly take complete control of their victimâs entire lives, financially, socially (by isolating her from her friends/family,) etc. to the point that the victim thinks she wonât survive without him. heâll say sheâs worthless and ugly and how sheâs lucky to have him, that no one else would be willing to care for her, no one else could possibly love her.
itâs an indisputable fact that men commit around 90% of violent crimes and sexual crimes. for most female victims, they wind up in the hospital or dead. they have no way to save up money and leave, since the man has complete financial control over her. sheâs terrified to leave him, has no real escape. and yet she still gets blamed.
are all situations of female domestic violence like my dadâs? no. of course not. but the vast majority are, and it happens nowhere near the amount it happens to women. most situations of male domestic violence are much, much worse.
saying shit like âshe hits me, sheâs getting her jaw brokeâ is fucking vile. these men are proudly boasting how much they want to hurt women and get away with it. they find a woman slapping them degrading, so they âput us in our place.â they hit us back as a way of showing dominance, a way to tell us âyou get outta line, Iâm not afraid to hurt you.â they found a way to hurt us that can be justified, and so that if any of us dispute it, we get told weâre âvictim blamingâ or being âmisandrist.â the first thing most men say when they hear the word âfeminismâ is âoh, so I can hit you now?â they WANT to hurt us. they want us to be afraid of them. the first thing they think of is violence. theyâre not afraid of women, and they donât actually care about male victims. theyâre not scared for their life when a woman slaps them, theyâre angry that their fragile masculinity was threatened. they just want an excuse to hurt us. they want us to know they arenât afraid to exert their power over us. and saying that women are more likely to be victims of severe abuse in no way means weâre claiming women are weak and incapable and helpless, if you think that way, itâs because youâre the fucking misogynist, not us. itâs because YOU think female victims are weak and helpless.
bringing male victims of domestic violence into a conversation about female victims is menâs pathetic attempt at derailing the issue. notice how they only talk about male victims if itâs to use them as a âgotchaâ? some sick attempt to silence us? male violence is the problem, and they know it. they just hate us talking about it.
