cyan and her self

"Listen, even if an omniscient God or a godlike being is real, most religions are built on only a bit of truth and mostly upon myths designed to keep order among the populace. This order creates, designs, and enforces rigid roles for racism, classism, sexism, and homophobia. It excuses and handwaves, if not outright encourages, colonialism and oppression."

and you're like "Mr. Sanderson, aren't you a card carrying member of the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints?"

14 years ago when I had recently moved to Alaska, I went hiking with an Aleut friend, and she pointed to a feather lying on the ground and said "hey that's a bald eagle tail feather, you should grab it!" and I was like "uhh I'm very white and that's very illegal" and she went "they're fuckin everywhere up here man. I have 20." so she grabs it off the ground and hands it to me and says "there, now it's a ceremonial gift from an indigenous person."

and I'm like, okay, cool, I guess this is how we do things in Alaska. nice.

so I keep this bald eagle tail feather around for years. display it in my home among other cherished memorabilia from places I've lived and visited, etc.

on a whim, I have just now looked it up. there is no exemption to that law for a ceremonial gift from an indigenous person. the last 7 years I lived in the US, I was technically a bald eagle poacher.

the law against 'picking feathers up off the ground' means that you can't go shoot an eagle then sell the feathers on etsy by saying you 'just found them'. you can't own them no matter where they came from, which makes sure that they're not going to come from any birds killed and then secretly disposed of.

BONUS: same knight 20 minutes later

[We cut to a woman waking up as her alarm rings. This is GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER. She gets up, gets dressed in a style reminiscent of that of a 1950s housewife, and begins her day. She puts an apron on, and begins frying eggs for breakfast.]

[A man enters the frame, fully dressed for office work. This is GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND. He goes down the stairs, kisses GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S cheek, and sits down to eat the eggs she has prepared.]

GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND: “I’ve got a busy day at the office today, honey. Lots of new interns, we’re rearranging internal leadership after the coup from the vampire cult, and at some point we might have to deal with Godzilla. What do you have planned for today?”

GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER: “Oh, nothing much… I guess I’ll just be your wife!”

GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND: (laughs) “Well, that’s just groovy. I’m glad I can count on you to do just that.”

[GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND kisses her once before he leaves for work. He then gets into his sports car, and drives off, leaving her behind waiting on the porch.]

VOICEOVER: “For every female character given an interesting narrative presence, there are dozens who are written with their only defining trait being that of a wife and/or mother.”

[We zoom out to show a whole street worth of houses with palette swapped GENERIC WIFE CHARACTERS standing on porches, waving goodbye to their husbands.]

VOICEOVER: “But it doesn’t have to be this way.”

[We are shown GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER at a meeting with a bunch of people in suits. She is smiling and shaking their hands.]

VOICEOVER: “You too can lend a guiding hand to an underprivileged female character in dire need of narrative intrigue. For more information on how you can sponsor an underdeveloped woman, please call us at 666-8008135.”

Edit: the comments and reblogs on this post are scaring me but I will update my journey as much as I can for your entertainment

Edit 2: I have around 300 pages left and I'm feeling good, I just want to say that I love Spook so much and if death is coming for anyone it better not be him

Edit 3: 124 pages left and VIN AND ELEND ARE REUNITED I'M SO HAPPY YAYAYA

Edit 3.5: I just saw fanart of Vin and Elend laying in green grass with flowers blooming and I'm so excited like I'll grieve whoever dies but the characters seeing flowers will be enough for my little heart

Edit 4: I'm on page 664. What the fuck guys I'm scared. (Also if Vin and Elend have sex and since Vin's technically a God now would it be considered monster fucking?)

Edit 5: 20 pages left and I'm feeling okayish like can Vin and Elend be together if she's a God like can she manifest in a physical form and be with him and what happened to Spook, breeze and Allrianne, are they ok? Will they be ok? Is she gonna restore the world back to how it was supposed to be before the Lord Ruler? I have so many questions

Edit 6: I have finished the book. I was right, it wasn't that bad. It was worse. Let it be known that any distant cries on anguish you may hear for the next few months are all because of me, I can't believe I was ever innocent enough to think I could survive this series.