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@cyaniphor
hi mutual who’s cooler than me hi hi please don’t shoot me with a gun

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There's a lot of things I'm looking forward to in the back half of Stormlight, but Kaladin saying "wisdom of the heralds" after washing his hands is one of them
I haven't seen my favorite new stormlight meme on here yet, so I present r/cremposting's new meme, Pibu
Brandon Sanderson is interesting because in the majority of his body of work (especially his main cosmere universe) he kind of sits down across from you and says,
"Listen, even if an omniscient God or a godlike being is real, most religions are built on only a bit of truth and mostly upon myths designed to keep order among the populace. This order creates, designs, and enforces rigid roles for racism, classism, sexism, and homophobia. It excuses and handwaves, if not outright encourages, colonialism and oppression."
and you're like "Mr. Sanderson, aren't you a card carrying member of the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints?"
and he's like "don't worry about that"
under US law, it's illegal for anyone who's not a member of a recognised native tribe to own an eagle feather. the penalty is a $100,000 fine.
14 years ago when I had recently moved to Alaska, I went hiking with an Aleut friend, and she pointed to a feather lying on the ground and said "hey that's a bald eagle tail feather, you should grab it!" and I was like "uhh I'm very white and that's very illegal" and she went "they're fuckin everywhere up here man. I have 20." so she grabs it off the ground and hands it to me and says "there, now it's a ceremonial gift from an indigenous person."
and I'm like, okay, cool, I guess this is how we do things in Alaska. nice.
so I keep this bald eagle tail feather around for years. display it in my home among other cherished memorabilia from places I've lived and visited, etc.
on a whim, I have just now looked it up. there is no exemption to that law for a ceremonial gift from an indigenous person. the last 7 years I lived in the US, I was technically a bald eagle poacher.
probably a good thing I don't intend to move back there anytime soon. I wonder what the statute of limitations is on bird crimes.
@freedomisscaryshit I'm fucking dying I think you forgot the word "feathers" in your tags?? or do you just wish you could grab whole ass eagles that land in your yard??
As an Indigenous person, it continues to astound me that there are such strict laws (written by White people) in our name, laws against...picking up things just found on the ground. Like, stop pretending this is "for" us. We don't want this.
so, for clarity, that's not what this is. the law against possessing feathers is an anti-poaching measure, derived from a North American treaty protecting certain migratory bird species from hunting. that treaty has an exemption for indigenous people to allow tribes that use eagle feathers in ceremonial or religious practices to continue doing so.
i used to collect feathers (illegally) as a teenager and the thing is that it's incredibly important for feathers from wild birds to be illegal to possess because it ensures that they never become fashionable to wear. the reason we passed the migratory bird act was because the american and european fashion industry was driving species to extinction in a timespan of years. not just decades. the ecological devastation of exporting birds for hats was absolutely insane and people were watching wetlands and forests and meadows just empty out in realtime. look at the wikipedia article for the plume trade.
the law against 'picking feathers up off the ground' means that you can't go shoot an eagle then sell the feathers on etsy by saying you 'just found them'. you can't own them no matter where they came from, which makes sure that they're not going to come from any birds killed and then secretly disposed of.
these laws, as harsh and ridiculous as they seem, saved flamingos, spoonbills, egrets, and all kinds of hawks and eagles from extinction. the minute these laws weaken and people can make money off killing them again, they're fucked.

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You CREATE Miette? you drag her from peaceful nonexistance into loud reality? oh! oh! jail for demiurge! jail for demiurge for One Thousand Years!
BONUS: same knight 20 minutes later
[ESTABLISHING SHOT: We see a generic house in the suburbs, complete with ridiculous lawn ornaments and a white picket fence.]
[We cut to a woman waking up as her alarm rings. This is GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER. She gets up, gets dressed in a style reminiscent of that of a 1950s housewife, and begins her day. She puts an apron on, and begins frying eggs for breakfast.]
[A man enters the frame, fully dressed for office work. This is GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND. He goes down the stairs, kisses GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S cheek, and sits down to eat the eggs she has prepared.]
GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND: “I’ve got a busy day at the office today, honey. Lots of new interns, we’re rearranging internal leadership after the coup from the vampire cult, and at some point we might have to deal with Godzilla. What do you have planned for today?”
GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER: “Oh, nothing much… I guess I’ll just be your wife!”
GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND: (laughs) “Well, that’s just groovy. I’m glad I can count on you to do just that.”
[GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND kisses her once before he leaves for work. He then gets into his sports car, and drives off, leaving her behind waiting on the porch.]
VOICEOVER: “For every female character given an interesting narrative presence, there are dozens who are written with their only defining trait being that of a wife and/or mother.”
[We zoom out to show a whole street worth of houses with palette swapped GENERIC WIFE CHARACTERS standing on porches, waving goodbye to their husbands.]
VOICEOVER: “But it doesn’t have to be this way.”
[We are shown GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER at a meeting with a bunch of people in suits. She is smiling and shaking their hands.]
VOICEOVER: “You too can lend a guiding hand to an underprivileged female character in dire need of narrative intrigue. For more information on how you can sponsor an underdeveloped woman, please call us at 666-8008135.”
VOICEOVER: (reading text on screen) “This message brought to you by the International Girl Liker Council. For Mother Mary’s sake please name a woman.”

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Ok i have decided that y'all are exaggerating the ending of Hero of Ages. It can't possibly be THAT bad.
Edit: the comments and reblogs on this post are scaring me but I will update my journey as much as I can for your entertainment
Edit 2: I have around 300 pages left and I'm feeling good, I just want to say that I love Spook so much and if death is coming for anyone it better not be him
Edit 3: 124 pages left and VIN AND ELEND ARE REUNITED I'M SO HAPPY YAYAYA
Edit 3.5: I just saw fanart of Vin and Elend laying in green grass with flowers blooming and I'm so excited like I'll grieve whoever dies but the characters seeing flowers will be enough for my little heart
Edit 4: I'm on page 664. What the fuck guys I'm scared. (Also if Vin and Elend have sex and since Vin's technically a God now would it be considered monster fucking?)
Edit 5: 20 pages left and I'm feeling okayish like can Vin and Elend be together if she's a God like can she manifest in a physical form and be with him and what happened to Spook, breeze and Allrianne, are they ok? Will they be ok? Is she gonna restore the world back to how it was supposed to be before the Lord Ruler? I have so many questions
Edit 6: I have finished the book. I was right, it wasn't that bad. It was worse. Let it be known that any distant cries on anguish you may hear for the next few months are all because of me, I can't believe I was ever innocent enough to think I could survive this series.
Edit 7: it's been three months since I was emotionally torn apart and almost 300 people have taken the time out of their day to watch me suffer, I love you guys.
"I write these words in paper, for anything not set in paper cannot be trusted."
[Edited, 3h ago]
since its june i wanted to admit that about 3 years ago i made what is probably my biggest contribution to the internet
can't wait to say "during pride month?" at every minor inconvenience all of next month
a good thread

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I just ate one
You can lie when you name things
prequel to the harrowhark collage. we love you gideon nav