Sue Zhao // Dialogues on Love #4 // “Maybe I already do”
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@cxptained
Sue Zhao // Dialogues on Love #4 // “Maybe I already do”

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continued from here with @blipintiime
a sharp breath is sucked in, head turning to meet the gaze of JACK HARKNESS. and he cannot keep the imploring out of his eyes, searching for any sign that the other man could be speaking his truth. of course, why would the immortal man be lying? why say something such as this without meaning it?
and yet there is doubt that settles heavy on the heart of IANTO JONES.
it is not the other man he doubts-- but himself. for so long, he’s known his own feelings for jack bordered on love. no, no that isn’t quite true, is it? they’d crossed that line some time ago. but, ianto is nothing more than a human being from south wales. jack traveled the stars, once, and has lived numerous lifetimes; he’d only crossed the channel once is his short twenty-five years of life. who is he to feel the love of THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN THE UNIVERSE?
❝ oh? ❞ he attempts to keep a casualness to that deep, welsh tone as an eyebrow quirks and he turns fully, looking to jack from where he stands at the bathroom sink with a toothbrush in hand, awaiting the winter-mint of his toothpaste. ❝ and what’s brought this on? ❞
a smile touches his lips as his head dips and his nightly routine is continued.
❝ you sure it isn’t just this domestic life playin’ with your mind? ❞ for a moment he wonders if jack truly would prefer this life over the one they lead beneath the streets of cardiff, at TORCHWOOD. the mundane repetition to each day has ianto clinging to his sanity by the skin of his teeth. but, jack? he’s thriving. as much as ianto craves to hear those words from the man he most certainly loves, he wants it to be real.
not the effects of an idyllic life that is simply a FACADE.
it slipped out.
TRULY, he does love this man in front of him. and, by god, he’s loved him for a long time now. he screams it in his mind, over and over. he murmurs it under his breath when ianto can’t hear. it’s real and it’s true, but saying it is a fear he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over. making it real like that? a t a n g i b l e concept to be plucked from the air and held by his tongue? a love that will be struck down by death and leave him lonely once more...
but ianto looks so BEAUTIFUL in this light - this harsh white light of an enclosed bathroom that should make anyone look their worst yet makes that man glow like the ANGEL he is.
and his thoughts don’t filter; they s p i l l from his lips in a way he can’t take back. and though his heart pounds within it’s cage, he keeps that steady smile across his lips and prays to a god he doesn’t believe in that his eyes don’t betray the fear that comes with saying those words. to say them can’t be thought of as a mistake. loving IANTO JONES could never be a mistake.
“ can’t it be a bit of both? ” jack suggests coolly. he takes a step towards him, somehow even more endeared by the toothbrush hung from his mouth.
the captain’s arms s n a k e around ianto’s waist from behind, lowering his chin against his shoulder with a smile. he nuzzles the skin of his neck for a moment, peppering small kisses into the soft space made just for HIM, arms tightening their grip lovingly.
“ maybe this place has made me soft, ” he takes a breath, finding ianto’s gaze in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. “ but it’s nothing i haven’t thought before we arrived. ”
blipintiime:
arms encircle him from behind, and there is an inherent way in which his body leans back into the other man. he pulls the toothbrush from his lips, setting it aside while meticulously ensuring no toothpaste remains on his skin. only then does he meet the gaze of the man whose just confessed feelings of LOVE. never had ianto jones thought this day would come.
and it is not as though ianto is oblivious to the way jack feels for him, but he knows the weight of past loves lost that sits heavy upon jack’s heart. one day the immortal man will be forced to leave him behind, as well. how could he not? the heart of jack harkness deserves to be protected, just as that of any mortal human being.
he would never blame jack for choices he has to make due to something he has no control over
but, there are moments where what surges between the two men can only be described as love, it is UNSPOKEN, and yet louder than anything ianto has ever heard. the nights where he stirs and finds jack’s soft gaze upon him in the night. the way jack’s thumb brushes lightly against his thigh as they drive through the city and his hand finds ianto’s leg, a smile dancing across the most inviting of lips. the intimate moments where jack takes time to appreciate every inch of his body, refusing to let ianto leave his grasp until they are forced to vacate the bed.
no, he thinks he’s always known what jack has chosen now to express.
❝ i think you just have a fetish for welsh accents, ❞ a flicker of a smirk tugs at his lips, eyes unwavering as he watches jack through the mirror. his boyfriend has made no secret of the way the heightened accent of his stepford-husband persona has a certain effect on him. he teases all the same before he finds himself turning within jack’s arms to face him without a barrier between them.
❝ jack-- ❞ he starts, an almost shaking breath taken in before he continues. eyes drift to a bedroom that isn’t theirs, and once again he fears that PLAYING HOUSE has coloured the way jack sees him. but, more than he is insecure-- he trusts jack. with everything he has and everything he is. ❝ i love you. ❞
a pause, hands finding home upon jack’s hips.
❝ not falling in love, i erm-- ❞ and that is not to say he wishes jack would be as far along as he. god knows he is lucky that jack’s feelings have come this far, ❝ i love you. if that’s okay. ❞
“ i can’t deny that it helps. ” jack teases just a little, though voice is still kept low and private. there is no one here to see or hear, and yet he finds himself not raising his voice any louder. a disturbance in the DUST would be a disturbance too much for this moment.
ianto turns in his arms, and jack loosens just enough that it’s not an awkward manoeuvre before one arm tightens once again. the other raises to ianto’s cheek. catching where the welshman’s gaze has drifted off and away from him; towards thoughts of DOUBT that worry jack in tandem with his boyfriend. he draws him back in kindly with two fingers against the jaw, a surprisingly steady expression across his features as he does.
and he swallows.
“ that’s more than okay. ” the captain whispers, nodding his head minutely as looks over the man before him. beautiful. perfect. strong. kind. no words are enough to describe the man he loves and apparently loves him return. no words will ever describe what it is for jack harkness to feel and be IN LOVE.
terrifying. wonderful. dizzying. all at once.
but nothing he would take back in this moment.
fingers slip up ianto’s jaw, cupping his cheek as he closes the minute gap between the two of them. jack leans in, presses his lips to ianto’s own and lives there. if could meld himself into another, he would choose IANTO JONES. he could pick a moment to stay in for the rest of his life, he would choose THIS ONE.
there is a mission and a danger waging outside this house but jack harkness has become immune to it’s pull. gravity now c e n t r e s on the man before him, his universe shifting, his mind, heart and soul picking a NEW deity to revolve around and serve.
and as warmth spills over him, and breath tickles his skin, he murmurs the TRUTH, once in desperation.
“ i fell in love with you long before now. ”
“Let’s get you into the bathtub.” [ not in the sexual way ok in the caring way you know i'm a sucker for helping each other bathe after trauma ]
@blipintiime | injuries ask meme - accepting
jack’s breathing isn’t quite right. it’s laboured, though his eyes are closed, and he can’t quite hold it steady. he can be excused for this, he thinks. he DIED today. twice actually - talk about SHIT LUCK - and after he still managed to get himself injured once again.
they won though. in the end. they won, and his team are safe and healthy, and if he has to suffer the consequences of that then that’s FINE by him. not to mention, he has the universe’s best boyfriend who’s been taking the most excellent care of him all evening.
his eyes open as he hears ianto’s voice call through the living room. jack is laid out on ianto’s sofa - towels beneath to soak up any blood that may transfer from his clothes to couch. he’s been listening to the hot water run in the bathroom for about five minutes now, preparing himself for the TASK of moving his body into the next room.
“ sounds perfect. ” jack calls back. he tries to sit himself up but s o m e t h i n g twinges and he can’t make out if it’s from death or from injury but it HURTS. he hisses in pain through gritted teeth and before he can do much of anything else there are gentle and caring hands on his body and getting to his feet becomes easier.
jack leans on ianto heavily as they make it across the room. they go slower than he wants, slower than is good for his inhibitions (surprisingly jack harkness harbours a few) but the only person that can see him here is ianto jones and ianto jones is trusted with the key to EVERY secret.
“ haven’t hurt this much in a long time. ” jack mutters off-handedly. his head dips for a moment and leans in, forehead pressing against ianto’s shoulder for support and affection as he leaves it to his boyfriend to rid him of his clothes.
“There’s an exit wound, the bullet went through you.”
@riftborne | injuries ask meme - accepting
oh fucking OW.
“ i find that better. ” jack tells her through gritted teeth. SURE, his favourite shirt is now stained with the deepest crimson on both sides, and every breath is agony and he thinks that maybe, he’s two seconds from passing out, but at least if he dies that bullet won’t be swallowed up by a wound that closes itself.
if he dies.
is he going to die from this?
he takes another s t u m b l i n g step, one hand pressed firmly against his stomach wound, the other reaching out to grab hold of the iron gate of the closed Bute Park in front of him. the only light that’s shedding some visibility to the scene is a lamppost up above, and night SWALLOWS the rest of cardiff into black.
“ where did he go? ” jack spits out with the pain, his nose wrinkling as he tries to inhale. “ we can’t just let him RUN. ”
GENERAL
“Can you walk?”
“How did this happen?”
“What the hell happened?”
“I hit my head.”
“Did you hit your head?”
“Can you hear me?”
“Don’t close your eyes, stay awake!”
“Come on, stay with me!”
“No no no no no!”
“You shot me!”
“I didn’t mean to shoot you!”
“You stabbed me!”
“I didn’t mean to stab you!”
“Take the knife out!”
“Don’t take the knife out!”
“It was an accident!”
“That/this wasn’t an accident!”
“That looks broken.”
“I think my leg/arm is broken.”
“That doesn’t look good.”
“Am I going to die?”
“You’re not going to die!”
“Calm down!”
“Don’t panic!”
“I can’t help you if you don’t let me!”
BLOOD
“Are you bleeding?”
“Don’t move, you’re bleeding.”
“Is that blood?”
“Whose blood is that?”
“That’s a lot of blood.”
“Do you know how to get bloodstains out?”
“Why do you know how to get bloodstains out?”
“Damn, I got blood on my shirt.”
“Don’t move, you’re losing blood!”
“I won’t let you bleed out!”
“You have blood on your face.”
“I swear to god, if you get blood on me…”
“What’s your blood type?”
“Why in the hell would you need to know my blood type?”
WOUNDS
“That cut is nasty.”
“You have a massive gash in your arm/leg!’
“Don’t touch it!”
“Don’t move, you’ll only make it worse!”
“I’ll get some bandages.”
“You’re going to need stitches.”
“That looks infected…”
“Did you get bit by something?”
“There’s no exit wound, the bullet is still in you.”
“There’s an exit wound, the bullet went through you.”
AFTERCARE
“How are you feeling?”
“How does it feel?”
“It’s still not healed, but it’s getting there.”
“Let’s go home.”
“I just want to go home.”
“Let’s get you into the bathtub.”
“We need to change your bandages soon.”
“Get some sleep, okay?”
“You need to eat something, you’ve been through a lot today.”
“I’ll check up on you in a bit.”
“You’re going to be fine. I promise.”

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continued from here with @blipintiime
a sharp breath is sucked in, head turning to meet the gaze of JACK HARKNESS. and he cannot keep the imploring out of his eyes, searching for any sign that the other man could be speaking his truth. of course, why would the immortal man be lying? why say something such as this without meaning it?
and yet there is doubt that settles heavy on the heart of IANTO JONES.
it is not the other man he doubts-- but himself. for so long, he’s known his own feelings for jack bordered on love. no, no that isn’t quite true, is it? they’d crossed that line some time ago. but, ianto is nothing more than a human being from south wales. jack traveled the stars, once, and has lived numerous lifetimes; he’d only crossed the channel once is his short twenty-five years of life. who is he to feel the love of THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN THE UNIVERSE?
❝ oh? ❞ he attempts to keep a casualness to that deep, welsh tone as an eyebrow quirks and he turns fully, looking to jack from where he stands at the bathroom sink with a toothbrush in hand, awaiting the winter-mint of his toothpaste. ❝ and what’s brought this on? ❞
a smile touches his lips as his head dips and his nightly routine is continued.
❝ you sure it isn’t just this domestic life playin’ with your mind? ❞ for a moment he wonders if jack truly would prefer this life over the one they lead beneath the streets of cardiff, at TORCHWOOD. the mundane repetition to each day has ianto clinging to his sanity by the skin of his teeth. but, jack? he’s thriving. as much as ianto craves to hear those words from the man he most certainly loves, he wants it to be real.
not the effects of an idyllic life that is simply a FACADE.
it slipped out.
TRULY, he does love this man in front of him. and, by god, he’s loved him for a long time now. he screams it in his mind, over and over. he murmurs it under his breath when ianto can’t hear. it’s real and it’s true, but saying it is a fear he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over. making it real like that? a t a n g i b l e concept to be plucked from the air and held by his tongue? a love that will be struck down by death and leave him lonely once more...
but ianto looks so BEAUTIFUL in this light - this harsh white light of an enclosed bathroom that should make anyone look their worst yet makes that man glow like the ANGEL he is.
and his thoughts don’t filter; they s p i l l from his lips in a way he can’t take back. and though his heart pounds within it’s cage, he keeps that steady smile across his lips and prays to a god he doesn’t believe in that his eyes don’t betray the fear that comes with saying those words. to say them can’t be thought of as a mistake. loving IANTO JONES could never be a mistake.
“ can’t it be a bit of both? ” jack suggests coolly. he takes a step towards him, somehow even more endeared by the toothbrush hung from his mouth.
the captain’s arms s n a k e around ianto’s waist from behind, lowering his chin against his shoulder with a smile. he nuzzles the skin of his neck for a moment, peppering small kisses into the soft space made just for HIM, arms tightening their grip lovingly.
“ maybe this place has made me soft, ” he takes a breath, finding ianto’s gaze in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. “ but it’s nothing i haven’t thought before we arrived. ”
Burn Me
Rating: General Audiences Fandom: Torchwood Relationship: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, Immortality Words: 1283 Chapters: 1/1
Summary:
“Jack doesn’t know how to explain it, but he misses Ianto.
Ianto’s right there, in front of him. He’s nattering on about some file of interest he’s found down in the archives this morning. Jack lost track of what he was talking about three tangents ago, and now he’s simply watching Ianto’s lips move. The way they curl at the corners, excited as he talks. Kissable lips; thin but soft and imprinted on Jack’s a thousand times over. A memory he can never remove. A reason why, nowadays, getting lost in the warmth of a stranger’s tongue is not the pleasure it used to bring. Not when Ianto Jones is there, tender and familiar.
Jack would kiss Ianto’s lips over anyone else’s any day.”
Jack loves Ianto, Jack misses Ianto even when he's right in front of him. Accidental confessions occur. For the Torchwood Bingo: filling prompt 'Immortality'!
READ HERE
‘ they mad eyou amnsia ’— gwen cooper, everything changes
“ being here, i've seen things i never dreamt i’d see. LOVED people i never would have known if i'd just stayed where i was. and i wouldn't change that for the world. ” — jack harkness, to the last man
i don’t post for months and then come at y’all with a random photoset of jack lmao

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peak adorable jack--
jack’s conversation with martha at the beginning of reset
Stop woobifying Ianto Jones.
He is not this super soft, shy, meme-loving, giggly, affectionate, silly, squishy, love-sick guy who wants everyone to be kind and flowers and rainbows all the time who jumps into his lover’s arms and acts all mushy.
Ianto Jones grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father which made him have to mature at a very young age and become very reserved and hide his true self because his dad didn’t like him. He never really opened himself to anyone, apart from Jack.
Ianto Jones is a sharpshooter who canonically killed 12 people in order to save Jack and Gwen. He tasered a man between the eyes because he endangered the team. He would have shot John Hart point blank had Gwen not held him back. He shot Owen, for fucks sake, in order to stop him from opening the rift.
Ianto Jones specifically sought out Jack and used any attraction there was between them as a way to manipulate his way into Torchwood in order to save Lisa. It may not have been the plan originally, he just wanted to get Jack to give him a job; but, that flirtation is there from day one and Ianto used it to his advantage. He knew Jack trusted him [ we see him alone in Jack’s office in the first episode and he knows security codes ] and used that to his advantage. He’s clever and knows it.
Ianto Jones does not talk about his feelings. What he has with Jack is special and deep and they both show it using small touches and words that aren’t “I love you.” He’s originally repressed and insecure in thinking he loves Jack more than Jack loves him but would never actually talk to Jack about that straight up.
Ianto Jones is a sardonic and sarcastic little shit who makes witty one-liners that show his true cynicism
Ianto Jones has no faith in humanity. In Blind Summit he asks Yvonne “what’s the point of any of this?” On so many occasions [ Countrycide, Broken ] he’s forced to realise that human beings are just as monstrous as any alien threat they fight.
Ianto Jones is suicidal. Canonically he has contemplated/attempted taking his own life three times: Blind Summit and Broken makes references to him wanting to and we hear one attempt ourselves. He’s not happy for most of his life, he’s dealt with trauma and shit hand after shit hand until he’s on several occasions not wanted to deal with ANY of it anymore.
Yes, Ianto Jones wants to be a cool secret agent, and yes he has the skills to be. His specialty is weaponry, but he’s also incredibly intelligent when it comes to tech as well. Yes, he is a nerd. Yes, he falls in love very quickly and loves so deeply. Yes, he gets these huge heart eyes when he looks at Jack. Yes, he was once considered Yvonne’s conscious.
But, Ianto Jones is a complex and BROKEN human being. He is strong and stoic and probably forgets, himself, how young he is because he’s never actually gotten to be young. He’s a badass and an incredible field agent, who will also make the hard decisions necessary.
This is not very well written, I know, but I’m hoping it gets the point across. I know that Ianto gets projected onto a lot by fans, but try not to forget who he is as a canon character.
Jack/Ianto requested by anonymous
Peak look for Captain Jack Harkness is in Doctor Who’s Utopia/The Sound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords trilogy.
Why, you ask? Let me explain.
Here he is in The Empty Child (and therefore The Doctor Dances). Now, that’s some damn cute hair, I’ll admit, but it’s lacking that true Harkness feel.
This is from The Parting of Ways, but this is also essentially his look in Boom Town/Bad Wolf. I’ll forgive this look because I understand it was the early 2000′s. (Yes. I am ignoring the part where Jack’s naked. We all know everyone goes batshit over that.)
Now, those are Jack’s normal looks. Spikey hair, blue shirt. Cute as hell. We love him. He’s perfect.
Now, pay attention.
Here he is in Utopia.
Look at that curl! Look at it! It deserves attention! It’s so fucking adorable!
And here he is in an undershirt! Don’t see that often enough!
This is The Sound of Drums
Pretty much his standard look, but, as I said, practically perfect. Plus, Martha’s standing near him offscreen, so that makes him look 2000 times cuter. Go Martha!
My personal favourite: Last of the Time Lords. Let’s see.
This is kicked puppy. This is cute as hell. Fluffy hair? Check. Dirty but rocking it? Check! Sad, dejected look? Checkity check check check!
God, one more because this is my favourite look.
See? Cutie patootie. Give this man a hug. And a kiss. (Somebody get him Ianto, please!)
Anyway, in conclusion, season 3 end trilogy = best Captain Jack Harkness looks.

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My Light In The Dark
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/33LWJuB
by cxptained
“When Jack wakes to the sound that he could never forget, it takes him a moment to realise that noise was not simply a repeat in his mind from a dream he already can’t place. The screeching noise of the TARDIS coming to a halt somewhere in the close vicinity is something that you cannot ignore.
Not when you’re Jack Harkness.
His eyes flick open and Ianto, as always, is sleeping on top of him. Jack takes a moment to assess the situation. How best to remove himself from this arrangement without waking his boyfriend? Carefully, he pries the grip of a hand that’s holding onto the white shirt Jack so often sleeps in off the material. Legs are shifted so they untangle from each other slow enough that Jack could be mistaken for simple turning in the night.”
When the Doctor turns up in the Hub in the middle of the night, Jack Harkness is faced with a tough decision. Go back, be his companion and travel the universe? Or stay with the man he’s too afraid to admit he loves out loud. Is it really a question? More of a no brainer to Jack.
Words: 3650, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Torchwood, Doctor Who
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Tenth Doctor
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Additional Tags: Post-Episode: s02e13 Exit Wounds, Between Seasons/Series, Established Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Boyfriends, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Tenth Doctor Comes Back For Jack, Jack loves Ianto, Scars, Mentions of The Year, Mentions of Jack Dying
read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/33LWJuB
I posted another fic because apparently this is what I do now...
Name a more iconic duo than my fear of abandonment and instinct to self isolate, I’ll wait