North by Northwick

My profile picture is "Timoclea Kills the Captain of Alexander the Great" (1659) by Elisabetta Sirani.

My banner image is "Figures 11-12" from Les secrets du premier livre sur l'espée seule (1573) by Henry de Sainct Didier.

I am not a doctor. I am only barely an athlete. My expertise in sport medicine is minimal. However, from what my cursory research has uncovered I feel confident in saying that feet aren't supposed to hurt. Every blog and website wants me to worry that I have some dreadful malady in need of immediate and costly intervention. Regardless I intend to instead begin with rest, reduced stress, and gentle but regular stretching.

Well rest and relaxation do their work, it is hard to argue with the immediacy of stretches. When I was a girl growing up in Insulae Draconis, I was a ballerina. Though I ultimately never underwent the kind of intensive bodily conditioning other dancers are subjected to, I was still drilled in the process of stretching. It makes frankly poor narrative: you stick your leg out until you feel the muscle tighten and then you hold it. If it hurts you went too far. I had one particular stretch taught to me a Noble Lady a few weeks ago. From the en garde position, you straighten your lead knee and lean forward and push your hips back, then you hold the pose. Next you turn out your rear foot and straighten it, then when I struggled to repeat the torso motion from the previous portion she advised me to "do a dab". Sure enough I felt my calf and ankle tighten.

I have made my way to a few sparring sessions. My Lady encourages me to take breaks from the Littlest White Scarf as she has struggled so much as I. At around the six month mark, I reached fifty signatures on my Hundred Blades Saga following a lovely afternoon with a collection of fencers visiting from Vindheim--after four hours of sparring we spent two hours of feasting. I can't say how much I learned, but I succeeded in having one of the nicest days of my summer.

The last couple weeks have been particularly challenging. I left practice early last week to go cry in my carriage when my everything simply got too much to bear. I am again in a period of gross dissatisfaction with my skill. In fencing and parenting both. The hiatus is partially to blame: unsharpened blades grow dull as you know. My exhaustion in mundane life also has contributed not so much to a loss of skill as an increased sensitivity to failure. It is difficult to receive feedback when you already feel you're not doing very well.

A Noble Gentleman offered me an action item after we discussed my fencing struggles of late. I feel I have been making good oppositional lines yet when the engagement begins in earnest, I have not been so well defended as I would have liked. When I give counter pressure and drop into my riposte, I am getting disengaged and struck. He advised that rather than counter pressure, I strike my guard to their weapon and adjust my line accordingly. Thus I do not need to exert pressure on their blade as my strong will naturally deflect their thrust, and I can simply walk in my attack.

This is of course easier said than done. It will take some getting used to moving my guard like that, as well as a fair bit of visual acuity to see where they are moving to so I can find where my blade goes to riposte. But at least gives me a starting place to focus on. In fencing as in parenting the only way out is through. Having a concrete goal should hopefully make my tasks seem less daunting: purpose and direction will get me some wins to build up my confidence again.