Piggy headcanons wowie zowie!!
Warning this is really REALLY long
Also TW for lots and lots of rarepairs
I also view the player character as their own separate little guy from myself so uhhhm yah
• the heist gang all lived in a trailer park near the river during their childhoods, that’s how they met up and became friends.
• Billy’s family DID have a fair sum of money however, so the other three would come to him a lot to pay for their communal wifi for the week.
• Willow was a FNAF kid and she used to call William “William Afton” and he would get so mad. Like he was FUMING. Willow still loves FNAF but only in secret
• Every child in Piggy has had unrestricted internet access. It’s a canon event. I can’t stop it.
• Building on the last headcanon, Zuzy is GENUINELY terrified of Sonic.exe. Zee torments her by showing her Sonic.exe images whenever she pissed her off
• One time Zizzy mistook weed for grass and got so high that she deadass thought everyone in the safe place were cookies.
• Zizzy is GAYYYY for Mimi she’s down horrendous
• Pony is unaware of this fact sadly. RIP him
• Player is an alcoholic. Like deadass you can’t lose three of your closest friends and NOT be an alcoholic. They have unfortunately consumed all of the Safe Place’s Tylenol because of their awful hangovers.
• Mimi loves Minecraft. She loves a lot of games, actually. Fortnite, Yume 2kki etc etc. She’s a gamer fsfs
• Kona has not seen sleep in years.
• Kona is one of those millennial Homestuck fans, his favorite trolls are the goldbloods. All his friends and roommates know about homestuck.
• Rash is an EVIL TWINK. He is EVIL. He eats glass. He genuinely scares like 90% of the ppl he meets. One time the heist gang was sleeping over at his place and Billy got up to get a glass of water, only to see Rash standing in the dark like slenderman and he almost shit himself
• The safe place has a shared switch. Everyone has their favorite games on there. Zizzy likes just dance and forces everyone to play with her, Georgie likes Fortnite, Pony likes tomodachi life etc etc
• Zuzy’s screen time is like 700 hours a week. She’s so brainrotted. She tried to explain You Vs Homer to Pony and he had a mental breakdown on the spot
• They also have Netflix; Zee changes everyone’s profile to shit like “Doo Doo fart” and “Chlamydia carrier”
• The Safe Place has a little note game where everyone writes stupid notes on one another’s door. Zizzy writes like a founding father and Pony writes like an AI chatbot. Player can always tell it’s them by the handwriting
Ex.) “𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓽. “
• Player attempted to make FNAF accurate pizza. They failed.
• like I said EVERYONE is a huge nerd. Player asked Zizzy about danganronpa and they then talked like all day about it.
• Giraffy eats his popcorn with hot sauce and Zuzy had such a visceral reaction she threw up everywhere. Player started sobbing, because who the fuck eats popcorn with hot sauce. They can’t have movie nights anymore because if everyone sees him eat his hot sauce popcorn again they’ll implode.
• Player unironically likes Arby’s and Pony saw them eat it once and now he’s permanently traumatized. Player is often a victim of Rod Wave Arby’s jokes now
“LETS GET ARBYS I WANT ARBYS” - Georgie 2025
• Kitty ships the TSP members with one another
• Zee has one of those “Don’t touch my phone” wallpapers
• if Zizzy and Mimi actually dated they’d be one of THOSE couples who are all sappy in public. I miss my cocoa butter kisses type shit
• most of the safe place adults are stoners, or smoke ocassionally
• Player and Pony kissed but they were both plastered and it looked like when you smack two barbies together to make them kiss but they still managed to kiss anyways through the beauty of love
• building on the last HC they have the stupidest pet names for each other ever. Player no he’s not ur remington standard typewriter sweet whale carcass. that’s a grown man. Stop this.
• yes building on the LAST LAST HCs bc I love these two so so much. Player usually spends the night in Pony’s room because they’re SO sappy together it’s unreal, so Georgie has the room to himself most of the time. Georgie has since stolen all of Player’s blankets and pillows.
• just call this a stablelight/Player x Pony hc list atp BUT ONEEE MORE. Both of their love languages are physical touch. They’ll be holding hands all the time like SHUT UPPP. They’re really touchy on supply runs too and Zizzy finds this hilarious
• DOGGY IS ALIIIIVEEEE AUGH. PLEASE HE LIVED GUYS TRUST. HES AT THE SAFE PLACE HAVING A JOLLY OL TIME YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME