jackass

What is the obsession with rape among radqueers? Every other post is either by a blog with something alluding to rape in their URL or blatantly fetishizing it. We were diagnosed with PTSD just over 2 years ago because of being molested, harassed, and raped.

I mentioned in a previous ask, but our brother molested us, and the only one who doesn't blame us for it is our therapist. We have been harassed at school, including a 17 year old who recorded us in the bathroom by peeking over the tall end of the stall (because the door is shorter than my 12yo brother /srs) when we were 14 or 15, and all he got was a crash course on how to not be a predator and community service.

In 10th grade, we were raped. We were naive enough that we straight up just wanted sex because everyone else was having sex except us. We were too afraid to say no to him one day. The next week he dumped us because he "didn't like us" anymore. He was also a straight up Nazi with the salute and the phrase. I think he'd be a great fit for the radqueer community. He's so lucky to have actually transitioned and is now a cisrapist. /sarc

It took us 6 months to even realize what happened, and many more to convince ourselves that it was still rape even if we didn't clearly say no (we said "fine whatever" or something to that effect) and even though we were a grade above him (we were 10th grade and he was 9th).

Rape isn't hot. It's not cute. It's debilitating to survive. It took us years to even be able to sleep without 3 blankets around us just to stop having physical flashbacks of him inside us. Why do so many survivors fetishize it so much?

We used to be hypersexual. It was to cope. We get it from the sexual aspect of it. But please. Please stop acting like rape is cute. Stop acting like you want it. We said that. We said to our girlfriend we wished we were raped and more traumatized so we could feel valid in being a polyfragmented system. We got exactly that. You don't want to wish for it.