Hey I'm Cake

ba groba naby dooni tudem

Anyways no weapon forged against me shall prosper and any evil wished upon me shall be reflected back to you tenfold, so jot that down.

talking to army recruiters at the mall wearing a robe with my pet lizard on my shoulder: I will join your so-called army, only if you allow me to take my companion into battle. My great beast, he is my eyes and ears.

"what do we do about people who fake disabilities to get ssi" we throw them a fucking party for pulling off the most difficult and unrewarding grift of all time. literally i don't care

genuinely terrifying how adhd will have you be fully aware of the responsibilities you’re neglecting and yet its like you’re being piloted by a super chill hedonistic demon who can’t hear you/doesnt care