feelings in music

"I want to know exactly what it's going to take

I want to see you insert yourself into glory

I want your touches to scar me so I'll know where you've been

I want you to watch when I go down in flames

I want a list of atrocities done in your name

I want to reach my hand into the dark and feel what reaches back

I want to remember when my nightmares were clearer

I want to be there when your hot black rage rips wide open

I want to taste my own kind

I want to be wrapped in cold wet sheets to see if it's different on this side

I want you to come on strong

I want to leave you out in the cold

"They've clipped my wings again

Tore them apart and then left me

No use to fly away

To my yesterday of freedom

My eyes died back that day

Seeing the hurt I may have done

Beat me instead of them

Pain is my only Zen of fun

Counting all the days I've been trapped inside your cage

Clipped my fucking wings and you told me I was saved

So drained, shackles on my chain

Wish I could fly away but I'm blinded by the pain

Old flame keep burning out my brain

~

You still can't make me cry

You've pinned this butterfly down

My fire's burning out

Kill my flame without a frown

And starving hurts the soul

When you're hungry for some love

So if I close my eyes

"At last, with open arms

Ask my mind to take my time

I roll them back, declaring me in

I'll prepare when I go

Pauses not in mind

See yours, it’s so many

"I am the key to the lock in your house

That keeps your toys in the basement

And if you get too far inside

You'll only see my reflection

It's always best with the covers up

I am the pick in the ice

Do not cry out or hit the alarm

You know we're friends 'til we die

And either way you turn

I'll be there

Open up your skull

I'll be there

"I'm so glad to grow older

To move away from those awful times

I want to see all my friends tonight

Yes you found love but you weren't

At peace with your life

Home late, full of hate

Despise the ties that bind

I'm so glad to grow older

To move away from those younger years

I'm in love for the first time

And I don't feel bad

Let me see all my old friends

Let me put my arm around them

Because I really do love them

"You said that we're equal but I know you're beyond guessing

That I'm beyond desperate (Yeah, that)

6AM on a Friday morning, my darkest hours

Them heartless hours, my apartment is lost in a coffin

I'm dead to the world like I popped me a couple downers

Down & Out on my luck

Salt water all on my tux and I call, she don't pick up

Then I fall when summer is ending

I mean, there's no pretending

I'm stuck in my ways and you're offended, that's life

That's you, this me, that vice

"All of the nothing that I do

What one could I go through

Sick of kissing my hands

All hours of the night

Oh, things can get so good

And I know that they could

I need to get out

"I'll leave, if and when you want me to

When and if I've haunted you and if I miss you when you do not

Real talk, do you read fuck-up in my walk?

Do you see fuck-up on my face? Do I mean anything at all?

Don't say you love me if you do got nothing

Else to say to me when heaven is a dream

"So what you have the nerve to call a friend

Is starved of all the sense to make amends

Cause I'm the glass you break to touch

But you never want me much

Like the view across the water from your shoes

And two feet smaller

I know it doesn't pay to be this hurt

"So I fucked it up like I always do

I was born to be alone

I don't even know if the words were true

But I screamed into the phone

All I know is everybody leaves

Or so it seems to me when I'm alone

"You like to hang out but I don't

I don't leave the house cause I can't

I've been taking these pills but still

"You suggested professional help like I wasn’t mentally well

What I was feeling wasn’t meant to be felt

Duly noted, you’ll be quoted in the eulogy

It’ll be passed off as poetry between you and me

I know you know the difference between confession and conjecture

"Pull up

Late night

Please don't wait up for me

I'll be gone until the morning

Say it's goin' down

On sight

I know that you lonely