buddy holly - it doesn't matter any more the buzzcocks - ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't have)? burt bacharach w/ the posies - what the world needs now is love i think there's a mixup ...i m only supposed to love some people? because i don't have time for everyone? no one fundamentally has enough time or the ability to split themself 7 billion ways to TRY to make time. each minute spent or hug or thought seems to me like it should be regarded as symbolic of all the other love being shown, the person it's shown to symbolic of all other people. your connection only as unique as the chance that brought you together in that friendship or whatever. you could love anyone but you don't have time or its been dangerous because there's clouds of ancient reoccurring schism in the love plane: disconnection, alienation, shock, violence. sometimes you love someone prone to splitting away from your bond and sometimes it teaches you other people might go cold and harm you so you wait and when evidence pains you you pain the alien, unloving liar back and maybe their cycle of love pain starts with you because they weren't an unloving alien at all but watched a loved one go suspicious and cold, alien, something not human, Other than the sympathetic self. sometimes the other is inside an unsympathetic self and the love denied it outside feels justified because who could love something fundamentally wrong, thinks the self? but i feel that there are no fundamental wrongs in reality, anything that exists is equal in its existence and a loveable reflection of the whole; semi comprehensible and chaotic in expression but not without (possibly obscure) principle. if i enjoy that in anything i allegorically enjoy it in everything, from my pov, or im in denial. there's rich metaphorical implications to my fond feelings for people who take the hard line on anything; isn't othering usually involved, a right and a wrong? if you target yourself with the hard line (because you've had the misfortune of noticing something that you feel other people haven't noticed and are exempt from feeling inhuman about; for example, how we seek to create isolates of love or bonds and Other (are suspicious of the relatability or humanity of, outsiders to it, for simplicitys sake and ultimately for resource competitions sake, as though we haven't picked arbitrary resources to fight over instead of turning to limitless real alternatives) are you selfalienating from what is human, or setting yourself up to run ragged as a martyr to all that "should" be? maybe ongoing explanations are necessary to myself in the case of the above example; i am loathe to symbolically participate in othering but that process itself seems to be part of the way of reality because it's in it, part of it: cell division all the way down. im not here to restore a state of unity that never was the way of the material realm (tho maybe i feel the heartbreak of the first human migration, or something older than that), that'd be like heaven on earth and i feel like they're different places for a reason. so we learn stuff. heaven in my mind is an undercurrent of fully interconnected data about the material stuff of the universe that floats through it. we add to it by being alive and it's all necessary information. so othering hurts and it's the root of all evil but life isnt about being good. its about being alive. my love given/felt and my time spent or physical desire felt aren't mutually inclusive. anyone who says differently is selling something, a fairytale. i like fairytales myself, sounds like a better version of reality, in some ways. simpler, tidier. ugh but there's always some moral (usually "respect the godly authority of hereditary nobility" or "don't think about the world, don't try to love everyone, just love SOMEone and think about them a lot and have babies also wars". which brings me back to the symbolic aspect of love i think gets ignored a lot. i can love any person if i understand them, and i understand well if they're like me such that i can see it, if im being uncreative. i can even love a person who chooses to hurt me because i understand that impulse, i know why i or anyone "deserves" pain. is because we are alive and we cause pain as a matter of course and are supposed to report back about material existence--you know you're not dreaming when it really stings. we all are owed it, even jainists. so when or if i fairytale out with one person or a group in particular, it's not because they're uniquely deserving or reflective of myself, although it may seem to be because that's simple. maybe i like seeing the tiniest bits of obvious similarity possible so i learn more about my own potential. see a roadmap toward being twice as relateable or recognizable as i was. you don't get to live more/have more/love longer/enjoy better hurting more than you can shoulder coming back to you eh. weve got lofty ideals for humanity, humanity has, and for some reason being petty and selfish isn't so recognizably human. maybe because allegorically humans are like all life and all reality, a big interlocking (but chaotic in expression) system that works together (which it obviously does because we're still here. autocorrect said "all her" so i'll close with that). the more distinctive or dissimilar seeming the parts are the more innovatively they can potentially push reality, together. the more similar the parts, the less new material can be generated. tho it might hold together long enough to do anything. isn't everything mostly hydrogen or something anyway? is adaptation pruning or incorporating or both and on what scale should either happen, if one or both in cycle must happen--it's unknowable, unplanned
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