Curious Carla

This is one of the sweetest notes i’ve ever received. The boyfriend asked the management to leave me a note saying “After spending 5 days in a cave, you deserve to be pampered!” (because I had literally just come out of spending 5 days camping in a cave) and added the “Please let me know” to the management in the hopes that they could carry out his request. It ended up being the cutest accident. <3

We stayed at the incredible Eskaya Resort and Spa! For 3 out of the 4 days that we stayed here we were the only guests!!! (Totally felt like a baller)

Also, we had a private infinity pool in our villa. #winninginlife

Check them out here! Eskaya Resort

We decided to rent a boat and go island hopping!! AAAAAAANNNNDDDD I got to swim next to a BIG (Okay maybe the water magnified him a bit) Sea Turtle and it was one of the most AMAZING things i’ve ever experienced!!! He swam steadily next to me while I freaked out and tried to take a billion pictures and videos. #FanGirl

We then took the boat to the Balicasag Island Marine Sanctuary where we got to feed little (and pretty big) fish. I love holding the bread and making the fish come reeeaaaally close to me as they eat away at the crust. Then I freak out when the fish accidentally nibble my fingers. 

Next, we checked out Virgin Island!! We got there at high tide and therefor the sandbanks were covered with a layer of crystal clear water. During low tide you can walk between islands on the perfectly manicured sand.

Our next stop was the Loboc Riverwatch Floating Restaurant! 

We had a HUGE and delicious meal on a boat all to ourselves!!!

Coconut (or ‘buko’) is the BEST!

We were going upstream of the Loboc river when we stopped at a floating platform that had men and women playing their ukuleles and singing. They called us onto their stage to join in, and naturally, i’m not one to say no to trying anything new. They taught me the rhythm needed to successfully hop over 2 bamboo poles in a dance called ‘Tinikling’. (But of course I messed up)

We then took a tour of the oldest church in Bohol and the 2nd oldest church in the Philippines, Baclayon Church. Completed in 1727, you can’t help but feel tiny walking through its grand doors. Unfortunately in 2013, the 7.2 magnitude earthquake that ripped through Bohol destroyed many parts of the church, including sending the whole watch tower to the ground. 

Next, we stopped at the Blood Compact Shine or Sandugo shrine. It’s a monument depicting the pact made between The Philippines and Spain in 1565. They (Spanish explorer Miguel López de Legazpi and Datu Sikatuna, the chieftain of Bohol) each drew blood from themselves, added it to a glass, and each drank from it. I don’t know about you, but i’m pretty happy we don’t have to do that anymore. (Although that’s pretty gangsta)

We went to the Tarsier Sanctuary and I couldn’t help but squeal when I saw just how tiny these little primates are!! (Yes, they’re the world’s smallest primates) Measuring no bigger than the size of my fist, it’s no wonder these beautiful creatures are on the endangered list. Many people poach them and sell them as pets but because these solitary animals don’t do well in captivity and have suicidal tendencies, many of them stop eating or hit their heads against hard surfaces :(

The Simply Butterfly Conservation Center was filled with butterflies (and worms... shudder) The guides are filled with witty (and sometimes corny) jokes which had me in stitches. Our guide, Alex, told me “Don’t drop him or he won’t be a caterpillar anymore” “What do you mean?” I asked. “He’ll turn into a caterPILLAY” he replied. (Which in Tagalog means “injured”) Well done, guide. That was a pretty awesome one. 

Walking up to the lookout of the Chocolate Hills and seeing the signboard uprooted from the 2013 earthquake.

Despite my poor man having a knee injury, we climbed up to the Chocolate Hills lookout point. Gazing out, you just see rows of similarly shaped hills which during this season, looked less like chocolate and more like normal hills (despite the uncanny fact that there are thousands of them and they look very much alike.) It’s during the dryer seasons that the hills take on a more brown shade due to the loss of vegetation (nerd) thus making them look more chocolatey (and delicious)

On our last day I couldn’t help but sneak to get some sun before our return flight to Manila. 

Thank you Bohol!! You’ve been fantastic and I can’t wait to visit you again in October!! <3

These shoes were release just before Father’s day on 14th of June 2014. Created by Jeffrey, Marcus, and Jasmine Jordan (Michael Jordan’s children) and the designers at brand Jordan as the perfect Father’s Day gift for their pops.

The inspirational quote printed on the tongue reads :

FAMILY FOREVER If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.

Definitely words to live by.

As you grow older you realise you (consciously or subconsciously) create more ‘realistic’ dreams for yourself. Priorities in your life call for putting some dreams on hold or sometimes dismissing them altogether. As we get older we tell ourselves that some dreams are “unachievable” or maybe “no longer apply” to us. Maybe it’s because we have a 9 to 5 job. Maybe it’s because we are a parent. Maybe it’s simply because we have no money. Whatever reason we have for not going after our dreams, it still, inevitably, destroys the child inside of us.

Ask a child what he wants to be when he grows up and he will give you the most honest answer (at that point of time) His answer will be based on what he WANTS and not what is ‘realistic to achieve’. He won’t take into account the type of person he is, his given circumstance or what he has to do to get there. He won’t think about his social class, the colour of his skin or how many people wish to see him fail. He will simply want what he wants. He gives an answer purely out of his heart. An answer of what he believes would make him happy (Which may only be for the next few months or years till he decides he wants to be Ironman)

Many people force us to dumb down our dreams. To dilute them with ‘realism’ and ‘practicality’. To think of our age and of what our body REALLY can handle. People want us to give up on our dreams because they need to feel better for giving up theirs. But dreams, like so many other things, are personal. They don’t involve anyone besides yourself. So why allow someone to determine what dream is right or wrong for you?

This year, for the first time in my life, I went to New York.

First scenario : You’ve broken up. He’s single. You’re Single.

This is the simplest of situations. WRONG. There’s no such thing as a simple situation if you are EXES. It means you have history and something fell apart/ couldn’t be worked out and therefore you are no longer together. What many people fail to realise when they have second thoughts about their ex is that you were ONCE in a relationship. You’ve been down that road before. Sure it may turn out differently if you try again, but there will always be the memory of what happened before, the words, the feelings. It’s never forgotten. I’m not cynical and saying I don’t believe in second chances. I’m saying if you’re going to give someone a second chance, and vice versa, you need to take everything into account. Including your past relationship. If you’ve been in a boat which had holes in it, wouldn’t you make sure the holes are fixed before getting in the second time? Ponder on that.

Second scenario: You’ve broken up. He’s single. You’re NOT. 

You’re clearly in a relationship you’re happy with (Maybe you’re not. Do something about it) And you get a text from your ex. It seems harmless enough. It’s filled with well wishes and how he/she is so proud of your achievements and that you look happy in your new relationship. Most of the time these messages come out of no where. Sometimes you’ve thought about your ex, brush it off, and the next thing you know you get a message from them. Many times we get so consumed by the coincidence of this and believe that it must have been ‘fate’ for them to reach out. We suddenly start thinking that the universe is conspiring and all sorts of emotions start flooding back in. What does this mean? Did he think of me because I thought of him? STOP RIGHT THERE. Just stop. Most of our problems come from us over thinking things. We speculate so much on the probability of things that we lose sight of the reality of situations. If he’s texted you, do you reply? And if you do, what do you say? Many times we feel guilt when we decide to respond to our ex. Even if it’s something as simple as “Hi. Yes i’m fine. Thanks.” This guilt is brought upon by YOU. No one else. If you still hold feelings for your ex, if you never had closure, if you are still hurt from your past relationship, it’s no surprise you’d feel bad for replying. Here’s the thing. Sometimes it’s NOT what you think it is. Sometime’s he’s NOT messaging you cause he wants to get back together. Sometimes he’s genuinely a great person and he wants to make sure you’re okay despite being happy with someone else. SOMETIMES. And other times he’s taken a chance to message you to see what you would say. If you’d bite the line he’s thrown for you. Whatever the situation may be, and only you and him/her will know the truth, be careful with your words in reply. Being overly friendly might make the other person think you miss them more than as a friend. Giving them the cold shoulder would hurt them as they’ve clearly risked their ego by contacting you. I would opt for a friendly, neutral tone when replying. You wouldn't want to feel bad for your current significant other, would you? Always have them in the back of your mind.

Third scenario: You’ve broken up. You’re single. He’s NOT.

Well that sucks, doesn’t it? It always feels like you’e on the losing end. But that’s the completely wrong mentality to have. There is no “winning” and “losing” after a break up. Just because the other person is in a relationship doesn’t mean they suddenly have an upper hand and that you were left in the dust. Maybe they just found the person they were truly meant to be with and it happened to be after your relationship with them ended. Or maybe they are lonely and needed the companionship of another person to feel better Whatever the case is, never feel like you’ve lost out. That you are lesser of a person. 

Out of the blue, this person who is seemingly in a happy relationship, contacts you. What do you do? Well for one, if you’re a woman, you immediately start over thinking the situation (Admit it, ladies. It’s a curse) You reread the message 4 or 5 times trying to figure out what he “MEANS”. You read the words but you’re trying to decode the hidden message behind it. “Why did he message me? Is he unhappy? Does he miss me? Did he and his girlfriend break up? OMG HE WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER.” Chill out, girlfriend. Take a deep breathe. We get excited because we feel this person who meant so much in our life is now making an effort to be a part of it again, even if it’s through a little text. I say don’t get ahead of yourself. Take the message for what it is. Take the WORDS for what they are and reply accordingly. I know you may have pent up hurt/love/longing for him but please don’t message him them. If anything, it’s going to freak him out. Sure, you might be feeling that may, but for the sake of the situation and perhaps a possible friendship which you could salvage, you shouldn’t bombard him with words such as “i’ve missed you so much and it hurts knowing you’re happy without me” although sometimes (many times) we do, indeed, feel that way. I would recommend that if you do still hold on to feelings for your ex, you don’t reply immediately. Wait maybe a few hours or a day after he’s messaged you before you reply so you can really think about what you want to say without the message being loaded with emotions. Hey, if he’s messaged you randomly after a few months/years, what’s another few hours before you reply? Trust me. It’ll help YOU. 

Like I said, The Return of the Ex is a very, very tricky, sticky and uncomfortable situation. There’s so much more to write but i’ll leave it at that for now and follow it up with another post later on.  

Living in Manila as long as I did, and alone no less, did pose many questions and concerns from friends and family. “Will you be safe?” “How will you get around?” You don’t know ANYONE” “Is this Carla just being Carla and wanting attention?”. I was constantly trying to comfort people back home in Singapore that my move wasn’t something spurred on by an impulsive decision of this early-twenties-noob who was directionless in life. It was, in fact, something I needed to do for MYSELF. That me leaving Singapore wasn’t for anybody else’s happiness and growth except my own. And that was very hard for a lot of people to accept because i’ve always been such a people pleaser. I’ve gone out of my way to make people like me and WANT me around. A big part of me felt that the validation of others was what ultimately determined my existence. How wrong I was.

But that seems to be increasingly common in today’s society, huh? Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe I always put on an exterior of confidence and smiles while deep down I worry if people genuinely like me for me or like me because of what I project to be.

Manila changed that about me. Manila exposed all the ugly truths about myself which I ran from for so long. The fact that I WAS insecure. That I DID feel lonely even in the company of people. That all I wanted was to not try so hard. Because what was I doing it all for? It clearly wasn’t for myself cause it made me miserable.

The journey of living in Manila, away from people who knew me, people who knew what I was, gave me the opportunity to start fresh. To be the person I had always wanted to be but was afraid of becoming. No one knew what I used to be like. No one had pre-existing expectations of me and that made all the difference. I no longer had to maintain an image. I could BUILD one. I could finally let the inner Carla out because she was muted for so long. 

People always ask me what I love about the Philippines. It’s a whole list of things. The food, the scenery (not Manila traffic) the beaches, the people, but above all, I love what the Philippines did to me. It let me dream of being bigger than the person I was. It gave me hope. And when a country can do that to you, it stays in your heart forever.

Maraming maraming salamat. 

I dream of the day I return to make the Philippines my home once more.

Love,

Do You Believe In Magic?

I arrived in Manila in the first week of April. After a lovely Holy Week spent in Subic, I got a text saying that a meeting with the Station Manger of Magic 89.9 and another man was being set up for the following night. Remember, this is 2 weeks into my holiday.

We met at the amazing Sofitel and discussed the possibility of me working as a radio dj. Had I ever done radio before? No. Had I ever wanted to be a dj? No. Was I interested to try out? Most definitely! 

After a delicious dinner with my newly made friends, I went home thoroughly thinking through the possibility of me extending my stay in the Philippines. I didn't have any work in Singapore which required me to go back after 3 months of holidaying. I thought, "Why not?". I've been looking for the next adventure in my life. The next challenge. The next obstacle. "Okay" I said. "I'll give this a shot".

Mind you, I didn't get the job immediately. I had to 'audition' or have a 'tester' period. 2 weeks with CJ the DJ on his 'The Big Meal' show which was 12pm-3pm. He taught me the ropes. How his show works. The games and contests. It was a crash course. Adding on to the fact that I didn't know ANYONE, I was learning a completely new skill. Very much like joining an office for the first time after graduating from College. 

You've Got The Magic!

After 2 weeks the big boss calls me into his office. I'm worried. Have I done something wrong already? I promise i'll get better. I've just started. No. Quite the opposite really. The Station Manager tells me how happy they are to have had me for the past 2 weeks. That they feel I could really be a great addition to the wonderful team of DJ's they already have. I'm blown away. Sure I wished they would really like me and want to make something permanent of it, but I always knew, realistically, I was here on holiday and my life was in Singapore. Am I willing to drop everything I have in Singapore, my family, my friends, and move to a foreign country where I don't even speak the language to do something I have never done before? I thanked the boss profusely for being pleased with my work so far. I gave a tentative smile and said I would think about it and give an answer by the end of the week. I left the station feeling empowered yet unsettled. Lots to think about.

God's Magic

I spent the next few days really praying about my situation. It was a great opportunity which was being offered at Magic. Many people would dream of a job like this. I knew all the positive aspects that this platform had to offer, but I still had human doubts. Worries about leaving my family and my friends. This would be the first time i'd be moving to a foreign country alone. I prayed. I prayed hard. 

2 days later I woke up with a surprising peace. As though during my sleep all my worried and fears suddenly seemed like a dream. That it wasn't the reality of the situation. I knew for sure there and then that nothing bad would happen to me. That all I had to do was take that leap of faith and trust that everything else would be provided by God. That he would sort my housing, my finance, my health, That he would care for everyone back home for me. All I had to do was trust Him. I texted the Station Manager. "I would love to be a part of the Magic Family".

The Magic Carpet Ride

The following week I was assigned as Boom's new partner for On Demand, which airs 9am-12pm Mondays to Thursdays. We didn't know each other. We literally got to know each other on the first day of our show. Like any new relationship, we stumbled, fumbled and acted silly. Still trying to feel each other out. The type of jokes we could handle, what were the boundaries. What were our interests and what were our pet peeves. Needless to say, the maiden show was awkward. But nothing is impossible. With each passing day, the chemistry slowly built. We got to know each other better and we started reading the response of the listeners. What did THEY want. What did THEY enjoy about our tandem. After all, the show is all about the viewers. Boom has since become a very good friend of mine and the flow of the show is now as easy as riding a bike. We know the jokes. We know the punchlines. We know what grosses each other out and, of course ,we know how to laugh at ourselves. This move to Manila has been blessed with a great working relationship with my on air partner. I couldn't ask for more. I can only imagine what it would have been like if Boom and I hated each others guts. Would we just have to 'play' nice on air and be fake for the rest of our working days? Oh the horror! But thank God, we clicked. I believe i'm the man and he thinks he's the woman. It's a perfect match :)

Magical

It's still a process. I'm still learning new things on a daily basis. At no point would I want to think that i'm the best at what I do and that I have no further enriching to do. No. When the learning stops, you start to die. You learn more about the people you work with. Not just your partner on air, but the entire Magic Family. You learn how much everyone cares for one another. That they would go out of their way to help you settle into the country. That they dine together outside of the station and just enjoy each others company. From the interns to the djs, the big bosses to the helpers, everyone has such an important part to play. But the best part, everyone RESPECTS one another. No one is less of value. No one is a diva. This is a team that has got it right. I feel so very honored and privileged to be able to call myself part of the Magic Family. It makes missing Singapore a lot less sad. :)