A Little Sugar With My Tea

Its ok to let go. Really it is. 

I know it feels like you’re about to take a big L if you do. Do it tho. God/the universe has more in store for you on the other side. They’re just waiting on you to let go of what you’re holding on to so you can move to the next level. You can’t go forward with that baggage. 

I get it. Its scary where you’re going. Its comfortable where you’re at. But you have to move out of your comfort zone. 

Have a signature accessory, clothing article, make up look, or hair style.

Have a fragrance. Make your hair scents and lotions match your perfume.

It’s okay to dine alone. Bring a book or people watch.

Love your hair. Research the best brands for your hair type and use masks weekly.

Your nails don’t need to be fancy, but keep them maintained.

Stay worldly. Know works of art, artists, designers, films, books, politicians. Spend your lunch break reading the paper or a magazine.

Crying is not a weapon. It’s okay to feel your emotions, but never use them as an excuse to avoid your problems.

Jealousy is boring. Love and appreciate others. If you can’t love them, forget them.

Boost others. Flatter others, but don’t deprecate yourself in the process.

Don’t sulk. Don’t let the whole world know your problems. If you don’t want someone to give their opinion, don’t share your situation.

Your life is between you and the universe. Don’t post your personal matters for others to see.

Don’t emotionally blackmail others. They hurt you? Let them know and then move on. It’s between the two of you and not the world.

Cook dinner. Cook dinner and listen to music, the radio, or a podcast.

Treat yourself to candles and flowers. Be your own cheerleader.

Take naps. Take a cat nap on a Sunday afternoon with the blinds open and the fan on high.

Drink your water, eat your vegetables. Take care of your body.

Never have time to take off your jewelry before bed, but always have time to take off your makeup. Your nighttime skin regime is important.

Mystery is beautiful. You don’t need to reveal much of or about yourself.

Be big on reciprocation.

A lot of ya’ll put more into your relationships than you’re actually getting out.

We all talk a lot about worth. God knows females always telling me how much they’re worth and how I should spoil them based on that. That doesn’t matter to me. I’m looking at what you do. I spend based on what you do for me not your “worth.”

Male or female, a lot of you reading this have put a lot more in, given a lot more, than the person deserved. You did it to win them over. You did it because you care. You figured in time they would come around. They would themselves see your worth and finally, even if a little, reciprocate. Instead weeks, months or even years went by and the balance never changed. The reciprocity you hoped for never came. You were left feeling used and dejected. You did this and you did that and you even did that is all anyone around you can hear…except the person that needs to hear it most.  

Dating a celeb? You feel funny even thinking about reciprocity. Best to let them pursue you and invest in you. Let them put in all the work. If you go all in, you’ll lose your self worth. You’ll never feel like you got anything out of it.

Its not just in relationships. A lot of you are doing things for family just because they’re family when you know full well if you asked the same thing of them they wouldn’t do it. That cousin, sister, brother….not really fw you. There - I said it for you. Your mother…yes she’s jealous. You’re what she used to be. There - I said it for you. 

A lot of you got friends that you’re down for. You ride or die. That’s the squad. They don’t feel that way about you though. They’re not down for you. They’re not ride or die. If you get into trouble they’re no where to be found. Turn your back and they’ll bang your man or your girl. You can’t call them for anything except to go somewhere where you’re likely going to expend more resources to enjoy than them. 

The key is to match energies. What someone is giving you give back. Most of you are scared to take this path. You know that friend, that lover, that family member will be gone once they realize they can’t get anything out of you. The latter alone will take an act of courage and self love and strength to say that two letter word….”no”. You gotta do it. You gotta match energy. Restore the balance so you can get your self worth back and be genuinely happy. 

Step 1. Open Maps on your iPhone and zoom and click on Nice/expensive places in your area.

Note: you need to decide if you’re looking for clients that you likely won’t see unless they’re in town (click on nice hotels) or local POTs/clients (click on everything else ie: men’s clothing stores, cafes, bars, etc.)

Ex:

Step 2: scroll to the bottom and click on “Find out more on yelp” I then look for menn who have left reviews. I usually look for older men who mention that they come to this place all the time, favorite spot, etc. avoid the people who just come to talk shit or talk about how pricy items are.

Ex:

This review is okay, don’t necessarily like that he’s talking about saving on bloody Mary’s lol, but you get the picture.

Step 3: click on the profile.

Ex:

Now I not only have access to the fact he lives in LA, (local POT) I have access to all the places he’s left a review aka PLACES where high quality men frequent aka freestyle spots!! There is also access to his friends which could lead to others like him.

I now know new places to freestyle for what I’m looking for, which is a local POT, that I can see frequently and can eventually become a SD/sponsor.

The next possible step to this could be to comment on his posts, make friends, etc etc… but my goal here isn’t to be engulfed in the Yelp world, my goal is to find legit places to freestyle in order to find local potentials.

I can say that I use this method every now and then, and have found some really nice places in LA that I’ve never even heard of, or that I was somewhat unsure of, and think it’s worth trying.

Let me know what you guys think, any tweaks, successes or failures.