You ever wonder why we're here?

now that the world cup is out of the way can we focus on me instead

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

Goodbye white people no more cheeseboard

What have white people ever done to deserve this?

Your quality of life will increase ten-fold when you learn to appreciate the sight of a little bird

haters will see you mind control them and be like i do not hate you any more

i’ll be real, kitten, daddy needs multiple wealthy and powerful folks to die in a painful, drawn-out, and generationally humiliating manner

they should make a sandhill crane emoji

i wish i knew what to say and when and how

haters will see you rotating the perfect sphere, yet not visually perceive the rotation due to said sphere’s lack of imperfections, and say you cant rotate a sphere

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

I’m thinking of Beginning it all