You have bewitched me, body and soul.

• "Young woman of questionable parentage kills god after eating copious amounts of metal"

• "Apple voice assistant marries mute rainbow god after sister defeats army of undead alongside hobo and talking sword"

• "City of zombies saved by angry man in armor and friendly chef's niece"

• "Depressed people snort lightning, use it to fight lobsters the size of battleships." (idea credit to @Elisabeth_Wheatley on YouTube)

• "Cowboy makes deal with the new god"

• "Girl and mouse boyfriend undo curse on cabin boy"

• "Man cheats death by stabbing his own eye, forms intergalactic gang"

• "Young woman stacks rocks to destroy computer"

• "Dehydrated young man unites senators against himself"

• "Man with PTSD breaks All the Rules, upsets mentor while running from sunrise"

- the ‘WE HAVE A VERY AFFECTIONATE PET MOUNTAIN LION’ bed

- the ‘OUR NINJA BODYGUARD HAS TO SLEEP *SOMEWHERE*’ bed

- the ‘YOU’RE GROUNDED - DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT SNEAKING OUT’ bed

- the ‘WE HAVE A VERY AFFECTIONATE PET MOUNTAIN LION’ bed

- the ‘OUR NINJA BODYGUARD HAS TO SLEEP *SOMEWHERE*’ bed

- the ‘YOU’RE GROUNDED - DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT SNEAKING OUT’ bed

yennskier + text posts bonus:

Really bad boy:

The English translation of the lyrics? It’s a line from the books: “I do not love the sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only what they defend.”

#TOLKIENWEEK DAY 2: FAVOURITE HERO