ghosts

it’s so unfair that he gets to live his life and be happy and successful after completely derailing mine. i hate how often i think about him, and that he probably hasn’t thought about me or what he did to me in years.

i can’t believe i used to let j talk to me the way he did. i just accidentally stumbled across one of our old fights and i just... why did i do that? i let him hurt me over and over again and kept throwing myself at his feet, begging him to just love me.

should i be passive aggressive until he realizes or talk about it like an adult?

i just want to be happy with my body. i have spent two thirds of my life hating it and trying to make it smaller, and i am just so tired. i’ve tried getting better, tried to recover and i don’t know what to do anymore