reviving this blog to lwk rant a bunch cuz idk where else to put it
Theres this girl i like and im fucking head over heels but like im awkward as shit and a mutual is tryna pair us together and i really do like her and i think she likes me cuz apparently she's straight up told him and she asked for my snap n shit but like what if its not like that yk
fuuuuuck im cooked, cooked i tell you
like deadass we spent like 4 hours on call earlier and the entire morning chatting but i couldnt tell you if it was like that or not becausd i dont know how to read people 😭
and like she's constantly looking at me during class and blushes when im brought up but im not fucking sure like i really want to believe but im afraid lol.
also i really fucking wanna ask her out but im not at my highest rn and i wanna work on myself more but like if she's interested why wait and i hsould take the chance but like what if im not good enough rn like fml bro
also tiktoks flooding my feed with posts that are reading my situation for SHIT and i really wanna repost them to like yk drop hints but like what if we havent talked long enough yet and she finds that weird cuz we've only actually known each other for like 3 months and been talking for a lot less than that but yk i feel like i should just incase yk she's waiting for me to make a move but also like ughhhhhhhh brooo im cooked
also i have no idea how to flirt or anything cuz i've never actually liked anyone before because everyone i used to know were all dicks but this is just such a raw feeling oughhhh
and its just like she's so fucking pretty and her voice is fantastic and her personality is perfect and oughhhhhh what if im not good enough brooooo she got me staying up till 3 in the morning overthinking everything without even doing anything
and i lowk reread oir texts and get happy and watch what she's reposting so i can learn more and i feel wird for doing that stuff cuz what if its intrusive but i just cant not ykkkkkkkkkkk
just thinking about her while making this post got my heart beating so fast 💔
also with the not being at my best im getting better, im down like 25 pounds, doing more school work but its my mental health lowk, i have a really bad fear of death and as of recent i've been losing track of the days and its just.. i've been staying up till like 1 in the morning on school nights because im afraid of losing time honestly, i feel like i have a lot less time than i probably do, but the fact im a legal adult in 2 years is fucking terrifying to me cuz fym i was 13 not too long ago and adulthood seemed so far away n shit but i feel like everything is going by to fast