monstrously reading

Ok I wrote it a response before and then accidentally killed it so take two electric boogaloo lets go

The current idea getting spun in the microwave of my brain is a Lockwood and co au for svsss…. All because @supertaliart did an absolutely ADORABLE doodle of Lucy Carlisle and I have them mostly in my brain as “amazing mxtx post-it doodles” and it just kind of all just spun together in my brain. (System as skull is also from supertaliaart and it’s just SO funny to me omg)

ANYWAYS - Binghe as Lockwood. Obviously. He is a little flirty, better with people, etc etc etc (part of me is also invested in a reverse with Shen Yuan as Lockwood but overall….) Good at fighting, thinking on his feet, putting the mystery together - classic Binghe style. We know it, we love it yada yada

Shen Yuan? Lucy Carlisle (although I just had a terrible awful wonderful thought of him as Quill Kipps and I am losing it my god—) Regardless I think that Lucy’s idolization of Lockwood is just SO Shen Yuan coded. She is down so bad it’s funny. She gets jealous over almost every woman who so much as looks at him, but like…. He would be down so bad and ALSO so sad because even IF he was in a wife role there is no way that he’d be able to be normal about it. Anyways the other reason I think that Lucy is a good fit is because of her relationship with George. Mostly because George as Shang Qinghua is EXTREMELY funny to me.

Lucy and George? Bicker, generally get along well, but Lucy thinks that George is a weirdo. *looks at Shang Qinghua* and let’s be so real rn, he IS it’s just very funny to me. Also the idea of the two transmigrators tossing jibes back and forth is just incredibly funny to me and honestly fits the dynamic really well.

The one problem with Shang Qinghua as George? George is not afraid that Lockwood (or Lucy) will commit violence (and thus be scared of them in some way). Also the idea of SQH, SY, and LBH is chefs kiss

SQH is sitting there eating dog food and wishing his son had better taste as LBH is trying to flirt with SY…. Unsuccessfully, of course. But also SQH and SY as research buddies is funny to me, just because I can’t imagine a SY that wouldn’t be interested in research (although I do wonder if he’d just be a walking ghostly encyclopedia and get annoyed by the rest…. But also the PIDW wiki that I am sure he got his grubby little hands on….)

Now. You may ask about why not Shen Qingqiu. Because I cannot see Lucy as Shen Qingqiu. Ngl funniest option is a slightly nicer Shen Qingqiu as Inspector Barnes. (I did briefly have the thought of Barnes being Mobei Jun tho so…. We are all over the place about this one)

The two major agencies tho, Fittes and Rottwell. I did, for a little bit, think about having SQQ/YQY being Fittes (because of Kipps, which I’ll get to later) BUT I think funniest option is the Old Palace Master. Look at him. He is a rat. He would also do some fucked up shit, much like Marissa Fittes. Funniest option for Tom Rottwell is Lingguang-Jun. I am honestly not really sure why but like. Yes.

Now for Quill Kipps. My initial thought was Ming Fan. Look at him. It tracks and is funny. However. I hit upon OPM as Fittes and suddenly my brain went “what if instead of Ming Fan, Kipps is Gongyi Xiao.”

On the one hand, it does not make sense.

On the other hand it makes perfect sense.

Mostly because Kat Godwin being the LIttle Palace Mistress is INCREDIBLY FUNNY TO ME. OF COURSE SHEN YUAN HATES HER, SHE IS NOT HIS FAVORITE WIFE AND HE DOESN’T LIKE HOW SHE TREATS BINGHE.

You may ask “But what about Holly Munro?” (Or however you spell her name, I’m listening to the books right now ok) I…. Was not sure honestly. And then I was talking to LITERALLY YOU THE PERSON ASKING THIS LIKE A CRIMINAL who was like “well what about Ning Yingying?” And like…. Ngl very funny.

But also Shen Yuan as Quill Kipps………. He couldn’t talk with the skull but the enemies to lovers arc for Binghe and “Kipps”…… Ned could be Ming Fan /hj and Kat Godwin as Ning Yingying…. Ok but like. LBH, MBJ, and SQH. It would be a little funny. I suppose Sha Hualing could be the Lucy stand in but like— oh that could be hilarious actually. Sha Hualing as the Lucy stand in and Holly as Liu Mingyan. Sha Hualing is mad because Liu Mingyan is hot. SQQ as Fittes maybe…..

9,999 statues and a threesome, hua cheng was going wild there, this is inspired in a post of @particle90272 where answers to a this exact situation, I’ll search for it and see if it was anonymous or not, and obviously because I only do fanarts of fic this is a fanart of a fic, what a surprise

Also BONUS:

Mu Qing and Feng Xin are totally horrified, xie Lian and Ruoye are feeling … stuff

at first he thinks he scored because hey he's gonna live! bingge left mu qingfang alive in PIDW, so he doesn't have to worry about escaping his fate. he can just putter around his peak, tending to disciples' scrapes and growing an assortment of interesting plants

only, he soon realizes that being one of the only medical professionals in the sect, and the only one with a status high enough to be trusted with sect secrets, means he is the default GP for every. single. peak lord.

access to confidential info + sy wife beam = sy is now booked for appointments through next year and his martial siblings are throwing themselves into pits of snakes to get emergency treatment and see their sweet, tender, caring shidi/shixiong. even shen jiu starts coming in for regular checkups despite his strong aversion to them, and liu qingge starts showing up to get his wounds treated if only to bear witness to that soft smile mu qingfang lets slip when he admits he's in pain (sy isnt a sadist he just wants lqg to take care of himself! he swears its not bc he likes the sounds of lqg's grunts and groans as he resets his dislocated joints and wraps his scrapes up real tight!)

not only is he making so many unexpected friends (...every peak lord is starting courting processes but sy does NOT notice), he learns...so much drama! which is entertaining, but starts to become a heavy, heavy burden very quickly

he brings the concept of therapy into the PIDW verse expeditiously fast and sets up regular sessions, at first with the peak lords, then the head disciples, and before he knows it he's discovering a new form of mental cultivation to heal heart demons!

Send help /j

"I'm sorry," Xie Lian said. "Something like this has to be made clear."