Live Laugh Lurk

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How quickly we forget the dangerous crow boy who’s job it is to destroy plastic

8 hours of decent sleep will have you thinking things like 'i am a beautiful horse and i will never die'

you can just take it from their cart. its not their possession if they haven't bought it yet

if i were thrift shopping and you put your hands into my cart to take a unique handpicked item i was intending to purchase i would break your legs

messed up that you can literally be better and nicer in every way and the adventuring party will still be like "waaa its a shapeshifter waaaa the real whatstheirface would never say that" like ok maybe i am a picture perfect copy of your friend that i imprisoned beneath the earth and replaced when you werent looking. so what. maybe they were a cunt. maybe i thought youd appreciate an improved version of your friend. with awesome eldritch tendrils.

Don't get me wrong, I love Destiny 2 raids but sometimes it's like, Okay PEECHAN1000 we'll do the complex stuff, here's what we need you to do: first you have to kill the 17 elite wizards in this room without getting hit by the global shockwave that goes off every 5 seconds (it will instakill you and everyone will have to restart the entire encounter) then you'll get two buffs, one will last for 30 seconds, the other for 20 seconds. When the first buff runs out, but before the second buff runs out, you'll have a ten second window to pick up one of three glowing orbs hidden around the room (to find out which one you need, determine which day of the week and the exact minute on the hour it is and follow the flow chart we posted in discord) then run to a square that is not the boss's least favorite color and do three counter clockwise circles and shoot the smallest of 50 knights exactly ten times. If you did it correctly you will hear a tiger's growl, if you did it incorrectly you will hear a lion's growl. If you don't do this in time, we wipe. Do all of that three more times, this will open the passage to where we'll deal damage to the boss, but don't go though it yet! Next you'll have 30 seconds to run seven laps around this spire of floating platforms while jumping through rings, each lap you will pass a large projection of one of the presidents of the united states, decide which president this is and make a mental note of each president's full name and consecutive years in office and birthday. Then you'll have 20 seconds to call out to us the name of every president you did not see while running laps. It will be more helpful to the rest of us if you could list them in reverse alphabetical order. This will give you a buff which will last for 10 seconds and will allow you to deal damage to the boss. Now let's go over damage phase. Remember the years those seven president's were in office and their birthdays?

I fear we are losing the ancient texts. Everyone nowadays is trying to make the creepypastas all lore accurate and scary and realistic. Fuck that! Slendermansion and fanon creepypastas my beloved. I love you so bad shitty 2010s mischaracterization. You were so good. Don't leave me. YOU YOUNG PEOPLE QUIT CHANGING THINGS AND GET OFF MY LAWN!!!

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