do you love me? do you love me not?

how are you holding up little brontë? how is it nine hours in the past? dark, i’d imagine, considering the sun in my sky. i hope the moon is treating you well. i hope your mother is too though i can never understand why you’d stay there when it’s not a happy place. i should send a postcard to my parents. you should still be in los angeles—are you?

i’ll be shyer offering feedback than you will be sharing them. you speak a language i’m hardly familiar with. the only time i think i get close to it is when i’m careening through the air. you should come to a show soon, anytime, maybe you could give me constructive feedback too.

pictures, i can do. it’s hard to imagine you here, miles away from anywhere i’ve ever seen your face, but i try. in the crowd, always. the lights are too bright for me to make out anyone at all, you could be every face in that crowd. this could be what makes me so good. ( gruesome training hours aside, i’m writing with ice buckets up to each ankle ). we leave for madrid in a few days and i’m guaranteed a hotel room. here’s to hoping for good water pressure.

missing you, jp.

the past is quite bleak, i'm afraid. my mother has been treating me as well as she can, which is limited, but not terrible. i won't mope about that. i will, however, mope about the writing process. i am stuck in an endless purgatory of writing the same paragraph over and over, hoping for a more satisfactory result each time. hopefully the future, where you are now, is much more productive.

i'm sure your parents miss you, as do i. still in los angeles. i don't fair well in the sun, i'm afraid. because of that, you won't be receiving any photos this time, due to my current state of sunburn. i miss you -- i know i already said that, but i would like to restate it. your thing is so different than mine, but i like that it comes close at times, in feeling. i wonder about your thing a lot. my mind imagines it must feel like being in a different world for a second, just when you're in the air. maybe not a different world, but a different plane, like leaping out of your body for a moment and just floating outside of it. is that what it's like? if it is, then i think i know that feeling.

that's also a nice thought -- the idea of me being in a crowd and you not knowing it. maybe i will come to a show, but i won't tell you. let it be a mystery.

alice. x

below, i’ve compiled a collection of [ 45 ] action and dialogue prompts for the kisses that nearly happened. inspired by every time those two characters in your favourite tv series inch closer and closer to each other only for there to be a usually annoying reason for the kiss to never happen. 

[  DIALOGUE PROMPTS  ]

[  ONE  ] :  “ we didn’t break up. ”

[  TWO  ] :  “ i can’t do this. ”

[  THREE  ] : “ you… you have something on your face. ”

[  FOUR  ] :  “ you should go. ”

[  FIVE  ] :  “ you owe me nothing. ”

[  SIX  ] :  “ did you really think i’d kiss you ? ”

[  SEVEN  ] : “ what about [ name ] ? ” 

[  EIGHT  ] :  “ are you sure about this ? ”

[  NINE  ] :  “ did you think it was going to be that easy ? ” 

[  TEN  ] :  “ i should really be going. ”

[  ELEVEN  ] :  “ we can’t do this again. ”

[  TWELVE  ] :  “ you’re- you’re steaming up my glasses. ”

[  THIRTEEN  ] :  “ you have no idea how much i want to kiss you. ”

[  FOURTEEN  ] : “ i got back together with [ name ]. ”

[  FIFTEEN  ] :  “ we shouldn’t do this…. ”

[  SIXTEEN  ] :  “ this isn’t how i want this to happen. ”

[  SEVENTEEN  ] :  “ i want our first kiss to be perfect. ”

[  EIGHTEEN  ] :  “ i think this means something else to you then it does to me. ”

[  NINETEEN  ] :  “  i can’t do this to you. ”

[  TWENTY  ] :  “ i don’t want to jeopardise our friendship. ”

[  TWENTY-ONE  ] :  “ let’s just call this what it is… just really close talking. ”

[  TWENTY-TWO  ] :  “ this is a bad idea. ”

[  TWENTY-THREE  ] :  “ i didn’t ask for this… to feel this way. ”

[  TWENTY-FOUR  ] :  “ no. ”

[  TWENTY-FIVE  ] :  “ the lead-up is the best part anyway… right? ”

[  TWENTY-SIX ] :  “ i think you get the point. ”

[  TWENTY-SEVEN  ] :  “ this is just a game of pretend to you. ” 

[  TWENTY-EIGHT  ] :  “ maybe next time… ”

[  ACTION PROMPTS  ] + reverse

[  GOODBYE  ] :  sender and receiver are parting ways, they might not see each other for a while. they embrace, a hug so tight it could shatter bones. their lips linger above each other’s, their eyes closed….

[  REUNITED  ] :  sender and receiver are reunited at after some time apart. jumping into the other’s arms in a warm embrace, the idea of a kiss is there but does it come to fruition ? 

[  REJECTED  ] :  sender leans in to kiss receiver, but receiver pulls away. 

[  INTERRUPTED  ] :  as sender and receiver lean in to kiss they are interrupted by a third party. 

[  STUNG  ] :  as sender and receiver are about to kiss a bee stings receiver, the moment cut short. 

[  FORT  ] :  sender and receiver are chilling in a pillow fort they spent a good part of the day building, in an intimate moment they both lean in for a kiss, only for the ill-built fort to collapse on them. 

[  RAIN  ] :  as sender leans in to kiss receiver a sudden downpour catches them off guard and they choose to run for cover. 

[  TAUNT  ] :  sender is taunting receiver, slowly moving in closer to their lips with no intention of kissing them, to see how far they’re willing to go. 

[  DRUNK  ] :  sender is drunk and while under the influence looks into receiver’s eyes, beginning to lean in to kiss them… only for them to have the sudden urge to vomit. 

[  DANCE  ] :  sender and receiver have been pulled into a slow dance together. as they sway to the music they find themselves leaning in for a kiss just as the song ends and the moment is cut short. 

[  GUILT  ] :  receiver leans in to kiss sender, but sender pulls away because they feel guilt for doing this for the wrong reasons. 

[  CHEEK  ] :  sender and receiver are leaning in to kiss each other, but at the last moment sender dodges their lips and kisses their cheek instead. 

[  PHONE  ] : sender and receiver are about to kiss when a cell phone goes off and makes them pause. + extra points if the call is from an ex/rival love interest.

[  FACE  ] :  receiver won’t stop talking. in an attempt to get them to stop, sender grabs their face, underestimating the intensity of the act. 

[  FOREHEAD  ] :  sender and receiver lean to kiss each other, misjudging the destination they bump foreheads instead of meeting lips. 

[  CHIME  ] :  as sender and receiver are about to kiss, a clock chimes interrupting the almost kiss and reminding them of the time.  

[  STRAND  ] :  receiver stands still as sender leans closer to their face, expecting a kiss but is surprised when receiver just tucks a strand of their hair behind their ear. 

muppet  :  who  would  be  your  muse’s  favorite  muppet(s)  ,  and  why  ?

music  :  what  kind  of  music  do  they  like  ?  do  they  have  any  specific  favorite  artists  /  bands  ?

film  :  what’s  their  favorite  movies  (  or  in  the  case  of  muses  that  haven’t  seen  them  ,  what  WOULD  be  their  favorite  movies  ?  )

nostalgia  :  what  makes  them  nostalgic  ,  and  why  ?

flower  :  what  would  be  their  favorite  flower  ,  and  why  ?  because  of  what  it  means  in  the  language  of  flowers  ,  or  because  they  just  like  how  it  looks  /  smells  ?

best  friend  :  who  is  their  best  friend  ?  how  do  they  feel  about  them  ?

inspiration  :  what  media  inspired  your  interpretation  of  your  muse  ?  can  be  anything  ;  books  ,  movies  ,  songs  ,  whatever  !

mind  :  how  does  their  mind  think  and  process  information  ?  like  a  human  brain  ,  a  computer  ?  something  else  ,  or  both  ?

symbolism  :  does  anything  about  your  muse  symbolise  anything  ?  whether  it  be  in  their  narrative  ,  or  part  of  their  design  ,  or  something  else  ?

time  machine  :  if  your  muse  was  given  the  chance  to  back  in  time  once  ,  would  they  take  it  ?  if  so  ,  what  would  they  do  ?  revisit  a  beloved  memory  ,  attempt  to  change  something  ,  or  something  else  ?

stim  :  does  your  muse  have  any  stims  ,  aka  repetitive  actions  /  noises  they  do  when  happy  ,  stressed  ,  bored,  etc  ?

superhero  :  does  your  muse  have  a  favorite  superhero  ?  if  yes  ,  who  ?  if  they  are  a  superhero  ,  is  their  favorite  themself  ,  or  a  friend  of  their’s  ?

endings  :  say  if  your  muse  was  in  a  multi  -  ending  video  game  ,  what  would  be  their  good  /  neutral  /  bad  endings  ?  do  they  have  a  'true’  ending  ,  aka  the  ending  you  see  as  'canon’  for  them  ?  is  it  one  of  the  aformentioned  ones  ?

demons  :  say  if  your  muse  was  in  silent  hill  ,  a  mystical  town  that  shows  it’s  visitors  physical  manifestations  of  their  own  demons  -  what  would  they  see  ?

revenge  :  for  muses  that  have  been  hurt  by  another  party  ,  do  they  want  revenge  ?  if  so  ,  how  much  of  their  life  does  the  desire  for  revenge  take  up  ?

kill  :  what  would  it  take  for  your  muse  to  take  another  life  ?  self  -  defense  ,  simply  impulse  ,  protecting  someone  else  ?  another  reason  ?

good  times  :  what  represents  the  best  part  of  your  muse’s  life  ?  a  person  ,  object  ,  place  ?  something  else  ?

happy  place  :  does  your  muse  have  a  'happy  place’  ?  somewhere  they  can  go  to  wind  down  ?

talk  :  do  they  talk  to  themself  /  objects  /  the  walls  ?  how  come  ?

imagery  :  what  kind  of  imagery  reminds  you  of  your  muse  ?  why  ?

healing  :  for  muses  that  have  been  deeply  hurt  ,  what  would  their  self  -  healing  arc  entail  ?  what  steps  would  they  need  to  take  to  get  on  that  path  ?