♧Resshucia♤

The fabric swatches in your hand -an array of sunset colors- goes ignored. Instead, your boss' attention is locked entirely on you. Her eyes are narrowed, but her lips are pressing thin with a smile.

"Mitsuri," you sigh, still good humored. "Are you trying to set me up with your son?"

"Oh god, no. You're too good for him." Her heel taps against the linoleum as she leans back into her chair. There's a litany of overdue projects strewn about her desk, with an organizational system only the two of you could ever understand, but her work had been at an standstill all day. "But he's got friends and some of them are-"

She pauses, nose wrinkling even harder. "I can't say hot because they are my son's age, but-"

"I get it." You try to push the samples into her hand again, but Mitsuri shakes her head. Her son Katsuki is a frequent topic of conversation and she says equally positive and negative things about the man: he bought a car (she's so proud, but what a waste of money), he's successful in his career (but he could be more successful if he could fix his atttitude) and he's even bought his own apartment (but ever since his divorce, he's been alone in that damn apartment-)

"They're sweet guys," she continues. "One of 'ems this darling lil' teacher, tiny little dimples you just wanna bite-"

"Oh my god-" You throw your fabric over your face. Your single-ness has apparently become infamous. While you and Mitsuri are closer than boss and intern should be, this conversation is making your cheeks go hot.

"Or there's this red head who has biceps that are as big-"

"Mitsuri!"

"Or this beautiful boy with -"

"You're just peddling me to your son's friends!

"I'm peddling them to you! They are nice boys and you need a nice boy!" The last guy you were with was nothing of the sort. "Besides, if they ever do misbehave, I'll tell their mothers!"

With another awkward laugh you give up, just throwing you hand into the air in defeat. Truthfully, it has been... kind of hopeless lately. Dating apps certainly aren't giving you the next great romance you need in your life-

"I'll think about it."

Izuku -freckle boy- locks you into a conversation relatively quickly and you realize he's truly the button Mitsuri promised. Every topic he blabs about is dripping with passion and knowledge. On his side is a princely looking guy, who seems very content to simply listen and nod along.

The red head talks to you for a while and seems very, very normal. When your glass is empty, he brings you a refill without being asked. The party is a gaggle of people, just enough that when another person comes in, you can dip away to grab your shoes-

"Sneaking out?"

A voice catches you as you're closing the front door behind you. Mitsuri's house is in a quiet neighborhood, the soft glow of streetlights already kicking on as the sun settles into the horizon. April still has a chill on the breeze, so you pull your jacket close; Bakugo Katsuki wears only a tee shirt.

"Don't tell your mom."

Katsuki barks out a laugh, one a bit too loud. He's pressed against the brick wall that serves as a fence, one leg propped back for balance.

"Fuck, I wish I was leaving," he says, kicking gravel with the toe of his boot. A thin vape is tucked into his palm and you nearly cringe at the sight, but you decide to let him keep that a secret for now. "But it's supposed to be my party, so-"

"That's right. Happy birthday." It doesn't actually seem to be a party focused around him, despite his friends being most of the guests, but you wonder if he prefers it that way. His mother can be... intense. Having her full focus is a heavy weight to bear.

"Thanks."

There's a couple flecks of grey at his temple, accenting the blonde. It's charming, you decide. Ages him in a very attractive way. When his eyes dart to yours, you realize you're been staring at him for a long while.

"So," you clear your throat. "Your mom has no idea Midoriya is gay, huh?"

"Oh, fuck, no idea." He gives you a cock-eyed grin. "Not that she would have a problem with it, the gay thing, they just-- once it's out, it's out."

"She thought he was my 'perfect match,'" you laugh.

"Yeah, if you had a cock and your name was Shouto, you'd be his match." His smile slides a bit. "Listen, sorry the old lady made you come."

"It's okay. She just wants me to get laid."

You're joking, but he doesn't laugh. "Yeah, she bitches about that a lot."

You scoff. "No, she does not."

"Yeah, she does." Katsuki's eyes flicker to your lips. A glimmer of something bubbles in your chest, something that no one else at this party sparked. "'That girl's so smart, but she only sleeps with losers-'"

"No!" Your giggle is so high and girlish that you have to cover your face after it escapes you. "She did not say that."

"I bet she says worse about me."

Oh, yes, she does.

"She loves you a lot," you say instead. "She wants you to get a girlfriend."

"She wants me to fuck my ex."

The word 'fuck' leaves his lips and something thickens in your chest. His eyes flick back to your lips, then to the ground.

"I should get back in there before they notice I'm gone-"

"Or we can leave before they notice."

Katsuki blinks, eyebrows cocked, and you think you've miscalculated.

"You serious?"

"I mean, I-- yeah? If you want-"

Proudly.

"He's a very successful lawyer." you twirl your martini around to watch the olive swim. the restaurant is busier than it usually is on a Thursday night, bubbling with laughter and conversation, so you speak loud and clearly. "I could tell he was going for the, like, full romantic date thing, wanted to go to this nice restaurant and everything. So, I just told him: hey, I'm here for dinner and dick. That's it."

"Oh, jeez, shh-" Ochako (who's been married since she turned 20) gasps and swivels around to check her surroundings. She's not a prude, per say, but her cheeks light up red at the mention of sex.

"So?" Tsuyu pushes. She's a bit of a freak too-- you love that you two can share that. Of course, she isn't at your level of depravity, but at least she appreciates a good story. "What happened?"

"I ate sushi-" you take a timed sip of your drink. "-while he ate me. It was three full hours! The fuckin' tongue on this guy-"

"People can hear you!" Ochako urges with a laugh.

"They should know!" you say. "It was that good! He said my pussy-"

"-oh my god-"

"-was the best dinner he's ever had!"

Tsuyu waves you down, trying to quiet you. "You gonna see him again?"

"Nah," you settle against the back of your chair. "He couldn't get it up. Don't get me wrong, the head makes up for it, but I'm a girl that needs to be bent over and-"

The waiter walked by to check in and you slam your mouth closed, letting they replace your drinks and take orders.

"How do you even get all of these men to...?" Ochako asks as soon as you're alone again.

"Men are pigs. You could fuck any one of them." You wave dismissively.

"Any one of them?"

"No doubt," you say. "I bet you I could have sex with the next guy who comes into this place."

"Alright. 10,000 yen." Tsu picks up her beer. "If you're serious."

Ochako laughs nervously, hiding her blush behind her hands.

"I am serious! The very next guy-"

The door opens and all six of your eyes snap to the man walking in. A crop of green curls and freckles turns your way and waves-

Ochako's glare could burn your the back of your head.

"Well, obviously your husband doesn't count!" you reassure her. "That's your dick, I promise."

"Good!"

Izuku comes to the table, shrugging off his coat and placing a kiss of his wife's forehead. "Sorry to drop in-- we were in the area and decided to say hi."

We?

The door opens again and another man steps in. He's hanging up a call, shoving his phone into his picket with one hand and adjusting his glasses with the other.

Tsuyu barks out a laugh.

"Iida!" Izuku calls. "Over here!"

"I'll get in on the bet," Ochako blurts out immediately. Iida Tenya is only a friend of a friend, but you know his story. He's never dated anyone. He once admitted to Izuku (who promised not to tell a soul, then immediately told his wife, who told you and Tsu-) that he was a complete virgin. Completely inexperienced, other than an awkward kiss he had a couple years ago at a christmas party.

"Bet?" Izuku asks, but you all ignore him.

"I can do it, but it's not going to happen tonight," you say.

"What are you guys talking about?" Izuku asks, but Ochako shushes him.

"It wouldn't happen if you had years," Tsu says. "Bet stays on."

"What-?"

Iida slides into the seat beside you with an awkward clear of his throat.

"Sorry for the intrusion," he says. "We are just stopping by-"

He's cute enough, you think. Well put together, clean, intelligent. His eyes slide to you for a moment, then away, as if flustered.

Yeah, you could definitely pop that cherry.