BISEXUAL'S FOLLY

"Have you told her anything?"

"It is not my place to say anything of the nature, Alethea."

It soothed her somehow.

An AI — SAM — having the same idea of personal space and understanding as her father felt... like he was still there.

It sounded crazy.

Felt crazy.

"Tell her I'll be okay. Just not hungry yet. "

"That would imply you currently are not. Would you like me to tell her you are not okay?"

"No, I'm... I'm okay. I'll get food on the way back."

"Done, Alethea. Would you like me to contact anyone of your location?"

"In case an accident happens, or something?"

"This part of The Nexus is not yet complete, though it is habitable. When trees are stressed, they drop a branch or two. You are currently sitting under a twenty metre branch of a six hundred year old English Oak. A dropped branch would have a one hundred per cent chance of killing you."

"Uh..." she rolled her eyes in small affection. It was highly unlikely that the tree would be stressed enough. Oaks were hardier than credited. But... well... "I guess it won't hurt."

"Done. Liam Kosta is now in possession of your location, as you are closest to him."

"I'm good friends with everyone...?"

"You do not treat them the way you treat Liam, Ryder. Nor do you call anyone else 'cute', 'adorable', or 'endearing' with the same affection as your father spoke of your family. And cats."

"...Fair enough."

"Would you like me to tell anyone else?"

"I'm okay, thanks."

"But you are sad."

"...Yeah." She stared at the toy in her hand — Soft. Fluffy. Probably three years old pre-cryo, or brand new but showing signs of wear from being held so closely in stasis. Blood droplets had soaked into the fibres. A child's. But not a lot. Maybe from a cut? On paper, or cardboard, maybe? Too young for any SAM but The Asari's to have access to. "... I am sad."

"... Is it about the Asari daughters?"

"Something like that. And Avitus. And your Turian counterpart... that trauma must have been... beginning to transfer only to die before it happens, and then SAM-N being stuck on that last moment, only to repeat the call of a man to his love in his dying moments... and now those moments are with Avitus, who has to now live with the fact that his lover's last memories were asking for him to be safe and named the new Turian Pathfinder..."

"My counterpart did not feel pain as you would, but from my transfer to you being dangerous... it is deeply unpleasant. I will not know how abhorrent the feeling is for Avitus, but from seeing how you and Liam are around each other... and how Alec was to your mother, your brother, and you... I know it will be difficult."

"But... that's why Pathfinders have to stick together." Thea's thumb followed the elegant stitching of the Thessian cresture's eyes. It was almost like a teddy bear, or an Asari's interpretation from the creatures they knew. Holding it alone felt like so much love was ready to ooze from it. It was so... warm. Like whoever gave it to the daughter loved her deeply.

It only made her face tense in an attempt to stop the tears from falling.

"Do you want some company, Alethea?"

"You're here, SAM... that's comforting to me."

"I do not understand, Pathfinder."

"Dad made you. He poured his love for mum and us kids into you. He's part of you... it's like here's here. I know he isn't, but... it's..."

"A pleasant thought."

"Yeah."

"I understand now. Alec felt the same when he looked at photos of you and your brother."

"What did he say when you asked?"

"That it was because he loved you both, and missed your calls when you were on dig sites."

"I got angry with him once. Don't remember why now. Didn't call for a month... time just... happened. Then an accident happened. Hit the news. He wasn't Alliance anymore then..."

"He was scared you were one of the three casualties."

"I never apologised as much as I should have done."

"He knew you were sorry, Alethea. He was just happy you were unharmed."

"I know..." she was quiet. Thea could still feel that hold to her shoulder. She could feel how much he wanted to hold her like he did when Elysium was attacked, but didn't know if he should. If he was allowed. If he was worthy. "I know. Wish I could tell him I loved him before he..."

"He knew, Thea. He always knew." A pause. "I have told Liam that you would appreciate his company."

"Okay."

"Is that an acceptable action to take?"

"It's better than that, SAM."

"My priority is to keep you safe. That includes ensuring your mental wellbeing is as healthy as circumstances allow."

"Hey... SAM?"

"Yes, Pathfinder?"

"Thanks... you're a good... brother."

"... That is impossible. I know you are aware of this."

"Dad created you. Not the same way as he created me and Scott, but... it's good enough for me."

She heard the footsteps. Jogging mingling with running. Slightly strange on this quiet part of The Nexus — similar to a country park. Or as close as one could get on a space station. It was... she supposed spring for the trees, in their abodes that mimicked their natural habitats. Early flowering fruit trees had already bloomed, and now it was the time for late ones who's scent would usually come alive in the late spring sun to awaken the senses.

Thea thought nothing of it at first, until curiosity got the better of her and she shifted her gaze from both plush and tree to look to her her left, in the direction of the tram and lift. Liam was there, half deciding whether to jog casually or sprint like he had a mission that needed urgent attention. It made her smile at first — she knew the feeling, well. Walking felt too slow, and jogging didn't bring much attention, but when she had wanted to be at someone's side as quickly as possible? When she felt like she had to be for her own sanity?

It didn't cut it either.

But then... childhood memories were swift to drown the joy in it. Not because they hurt. Not because they were generically boring.

But because until all those children were accounted for...

Dwelling was something she had become an expert in.

"Something tells me you on the tram when SAM contacted you the second time."

But any grief was largely hidden by her teasing greeting, eyes following the HUSTL member as he finished his approach with a jog that anyone only did when all they wanted to do was be right there with whatever, and whoever, they cared about as quickly as possible.

"'Course I was." His kiss to her temple was one she fought her want to lean into, though she was not entirely victorious with a vaguely returning smile and enough of a lean into it to be the equivalent of a cat's purr. "You took it pretty hard this week. I mean, I think all of us did - or most of us -" Liam sat beside her on the floor, back against the wall, one leg stretched out with the other bent on the knee for his arm to lean on, and he ensured that he was touching her: shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, knee to knee. Soft. Tender. Light. "But... you hide it better. You always check in with us, so I wanted to check in with you."

"You're sweet, Kosta."

"I mean it, though. Not like those people that say it, then act like they never did when it gets too real for them." Thea's gaze returned to the toy, smile falling and everything feeling too heavy to pretend to be okay. She took his right hand from his knee with her left, thumb running across his knuckles as she brought them to her lips to kiss them in the centre once. She kept hold of his hand, gentle so he could free himself if he wanted to, and rested it comfortably at her middle. "Any luck with finding the owner?"

"No. Too young to have records accessed by anyone except SAM-L's Node, but it'll take a while before we know if the records survived in the first place." Once again, she helds its paw. "I had something similar to this as a kid. It was this lurcher, I think, that was stuffed with those beady-things so it was moveable. It had the sweetest eyes and nose, and a little smile." Her laugh was small, but fond. "Dad gave it to me when I was six, few months away from turning seven. It was his first dangerous mission since me and Scott were born: Alliance got a tip off Mindoir was going to be attacked by a raiding party too big for the colony's garrison, and Dad was the next best available man."

"Did he get there?"

"Not until the raid was already underway. I remember overhearing the call he had with brass when he got back: he was fuming. First and last time I saw him like that." Thea absent-mindedly played with Liam's fingers. Something to do. Something grounding. "He told me the lurcher would keep the monsters away when he couldn't. I thought that was weird until I found out he was going to Mindoir to 'help protect the people there'. I was old enough to understand he meant stopping a bunch of slavers that were cruel and twisted."

"What did you do?" She looked at Liam in silent question. "I mean, now you'd probably just say 'stay safe and good luck', you know? But what did six year old Thea say?"

"Nothing unless you count crying for three hours on him." She laughed softly. "He was leaving the next morning, and I kept him up so late because I just couldn't stop crying. I knew he was safe on The Citadel: he'd come home every day, read us bedtime stories if he was home early, tuck us in... once, I woke up to my bedroom door opening when I was probably five or six, so I pretended to be asleep. He tucked me in with a 'your shoulder's getting cold', gave me this toy that fell off the bed, kissed my forehead with a goodnight, and just before he left I shyly muttered a 'night night i love you'. He stopped in the doorway, looked at ne with a smile, and told me he loved me to, then went off to bed."

"What about Scott?"

"Scott was the lightest sleeper in the house, so he had probably already got that greeting two hours earlier. Dad would have spent half an hour getting my brother to sleep." A sigh left her, quiet and gentle through her nose, as he smile fell. "Dad wasn't always home, but... there's a difference between not around because of work, and not around because he ran away or died. He was old school Alliance — it was harder to find time for family at that point. We hadn't figured it out yet, and Dad, being N7, was on call all the time. Shore leave didn't exist the same way it did for me and Scott. He remembered our hobbies, though. Remembered our interests, personal lives, where we were stationed... he wasn't a stranger. Not that Scott would agree entirely. He blamed Dad a lot."

"For what?"

"Our careers not going as far as they should have done because of his research into AI. I was happy, though. If I was bigger, I wouldn't be at Prothean Digsites, living out one of my dreams."

"You know," Liam turned his hand to link his fingers with hers, his smile clearly heard even as she allowed her head to rest against the wall, "I'm not surprised you wanted to be around dig sites."

Her brows furrowed, though her smile matched his. "What's that mean to mean?"

"You just... like old stuff. And your eyes light up anytime we find old ruins, artefacts, things like that. And" his free hand pointed at her with epiphany "at the museum on Aya? You should have seen how focused you were on reading the exhibitions. And anything Remnant? You're alnost as bad as Peebee."

"Oi." She gave a playful shove with her shoulder. "I'm not that bad."

"True," his words traveled through the tail end of a snicker, "you aren't. But," and then, with a fond touch as he gathered fallen, fine strands of hair to reunite them with her fringe, all tease was gone. Replaced with affectionate sincerty. "Your eyes light up. Even when you're focused, or confused. Like when we were in the derelict ship. It was like you were an early twentieth century Egyptologist, or delving into Prothean Ruins for the first time."

"I guess it's a similar feeling." She leaned in slightly as if to whisper. "Better health and safety though. And less dynamite."

"Less stealing, too, I bet."

"Um... yeah.. no... I don't think so. Probably more. Keeping mind Rameses The Great had Egyptologists excavating sites that were old and ancient to them, of their own civilisation. And they were looting their own sites too: Tutankhamen's death mask wasn't of his face, because he died so suddenly they had to raid other Pharaoh's tombs for sarcophagi and the death mask of Queen Nefertiti, and then quickly alter them to fit him."

"Okay, so... everyone still steals things to make big money, but you were there. You stopped them."

"I had a pretty good track record. Dad kept count."

"Alec last recorded your total as six hundred preventions of stealing, to three failures, in your last year, Pathfinder. Alec hung it on a wall in his office on The Hyperion."

"What? Really?" Liam's surprise almost matched hers. Almost. If it were not for the fact she had seen his office on The Citadel, and his study back home. What surprised her was that he decided that warranted a place. What surprised Liam was that he had anything at all.

"Yes. He did not leave The Milky Way without the achievements of his wife and children."

"He was sentimental like that, believe it or not. Whole lot of love to give, but not sure on how to show it. Gave mixed signals sometimes." Yet again, she looked at the toy. A tawny, wet-sand type of colour to its fur, and purple eyes with an almost canine nose, though shorter. "Not unless he didn't think about it."

"Sounds like experience."

"School trip to Elysium started off great, then The Blitz came. I got injured twice, though the first one was just embarassing. The second was shrapnel from a missile launcher when Phoenix and myself were going through some ruins — Terisakura ruins, but there were similarities to Prothean architecture from them being around at the same time. My body scars and these guys on my face you see every hour of the day" she pointed to her right cheek, running her index down the scars that never healed beyond reddened skin, "is from that. Same time, got shot in the thigh. I should have died. Shepard gave Dad a call, and when we were dropped off at Arcturus, there he was."

Thea laughed then. "He was so... him. All sat on a chair, leaning forward with his hands clasped together, staring at the tiles on the floor, tapping his feet impatiently. He wasn't looking, so I, at twelve years old, called out something like 'daddy, I'm okay', forgetting I had not called him that in five years in my relief, and the speed he shot his head up and just started running to me was crazy. Suddenly, N7 made sense. But that hug? Best one I'd ever had. He held my shoulders, my face, looked me over to make sure i was actually alive, and then the whites of his eyes started to go pink, then he had that manly relief laugh. The one you blokes do when you're hiding a choke when you're emotional, you know?"

"Sure do."

"So then I started to get all watery eyed. Adrenalinne wore off sharply after that. Never told him I knew he was crying. Didn't want him to think he had to hide it away. He only hugged me like that once after. I was on Therum in... eighty-two. There was an accident that hit the news. Three died. About two hundred injured. Names weren't released, and I hadn't called him — too wrapped up in making sure everyone was okay and the shock of it. About eighteen hours later, I'm covered in Prothean dust, exhausted, sleep deprived, hungry, but okay, and there's this massive commotion. I leave the building to investigate, and there's my Dad running over to make sure I was okay. It was his first year after being kicked out The Alliance, and my lack of calling him told him something was wrong, I guess. " she snickered. "Even wore his N7 armour like it would grant him secruity access."

"Guess he wanted to see if his baby girl was still alive." Liam tapped his fingers against her thigh. "Dunno what I'd do in that moment, but... I know I'd keep on worrying if I sat and waited. If I kept waiting, maybe it'd be too late. Or maybe nothing different would happen. But do I take that risk? Let her die on her own if it was bad enough?"

"You'll make yourself cry, Liam, thinking like that."

"I know. But..." he averted his gaze for a moment, mere seconds, before he looked at her again. "Say everything works out — no more Kett, Scourge traversible or gone, secured alliances with The Anagaara, Krogan, Kadara... Us" the way her eyes shifted to the upper left to meet his, with everything twitching into the truest of smile of quiet fondness and hope, was unknown to her. "— and it was our kid on the same site as an accident? I'd want to try to bypass everything I could just to see them."

Thea found herself nodding, not many small nods. No. Three long ones in agreement. "That would not surprise me."

"I can only imagine how your father would've felt. I mean, I've known you for, God, not even a per cent of how long he did, and, now, if something happened to you like that, I'd be bricking it. But a father hoping his kid's unharmed, and fearing they're in a body bag? That must've been hell."

"Guess it's how he felt on Habitat-7 after the Death Cloud pushed us back."

"None of us could see you. Not until SAM managed to ping your location." It felt subconcious, the way his hand held hers tighter. "Cora was the least worried, at least on the outside."

"Asari Huntress training kicked in, probably."

"Honestly? I'm jealous at how your dad kept himself together."

"N7. And First Contact..."

"And then I was just... there. Confused at what happened, trying not to get separated, and then bam! You're signature on our helmets are calling you Pathfinder. That was weird."

"Dad was probably more scared when he found me then, than he ever was in The Alliance." Her shoulders drooped to a sorrowful slouch. "For a Marine, he didn't take loss well. He was so... lost when mum died. He put everything he had left into SAM. He was quieter than usual. Slept at his desk. Felt like he loved SAM more than us sometimes; not true, obviously, but... I don't know. Every memory I see, it's blatantly obvious how unconditionally he loved us. The whole family. It scares me sometimes."

"Scares you?" She hummed at Liam's confusion. "Why? Wouldn't it be... nice? Comforting? Or something?"

"It is." Her eyes tracked the path of a falling petal as it hit the floor, then she lifted her gaze upward toward the sea of white flowers amidst the light-green leaves of the cherry trees. "But trying to find these deepest secrets and answers he wanted me to find... what if the key is when he dies? When... I... die? Those thirty seconds on Habitat-7? I don't think I'd be ready for that."

"You will be."

"But how?" This time, she did not fight her instinctual reaction: the minor contractions of the ducts at her eyes that brought fourth the water that threatened, the subconscious flare of her nose more felt than seen, the twitch at the corners of her mouth. She did not fight. "When I saw him die, I was falling unconscious. It's a blur. I felt everything more than saw it. If the answer is watching him die from his own eyes..." Sorrow cast mist across her vision, and river of hurt down her cheeks. "Watching my hapless struggling... seeing my own fear... what if there was a hug I missed? A fight I don't remember? What if the one time he tells me he loves me since I was a small kid was his last breath?"

She did not fight them.

"I'm not brave enough for that, Liam..."

"Hey. You are, Thea." His right arm swooped around her middle and pulled her into his side. Her head pressed into the front plane of his shoulder; the echoed beat of his heart finding it's way through the Andromeda Initiative uniform and to her ear. His left was swifter, still, to weave around her front, even as she began to curl herself into him for both their sakes, and entirely envelope her. Just as quick as Liam was to hold her so wholly, she twisted herself to be as flush to him as her knees and thighs catching his own to be. The ease her arms around his torso without ever lifting her palms once they had made contact with him, wherever the first touch was. However light or firm. "Hell, you know where I'll be afterwards? No matter what?"

Thea hummed in curiosity, bringing her knees closer to her chest, and held Liam's shirt tightly. Firmly.

"Right outside the door. Being brave doesn't mean not crying, right? I mean, we all cry over what we left behind. But the brave ones do it with others. And if all the things you fear do end up happening? I've got you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And what if it's bad news over this Asari kid?"

"We'll cry together."

"I miss him... my Dad." Thea shifted her head, pressing more of her cheek to Liam's chest, only further encouraged by his lower cheek on the crown of her head. "He should still be here. Being Pathfinder. Making these decisions..."

"You're doing a great job."

"I concure." SAM chimed. "Your father would be proud of you, and commend you on the choices you have made. He was a Soldier for nearly fourty years, Thea. Through you, I have seen that it altered his judgement to something more clinical. More defensively sound."

"I kept Sarissa on, despite everything, because of her history as a leader and tactician. I ensured Avitus was Pathfinder though he didn't want the job..."

"That is correct. But, from what I have seen, you did not force Avitus Rex to become Pathfinder. You spoke truly. You have taught me that the only certain one to let others down, is to disobey their wishes."

"It isn't so simple, SAM..."

"Avitus was already being a Pathfinder. As you told him, he was only doing it without a title. "

"And if he has a mental break of me talking him into it?"

"It is why Pathfinders stick together, Thea."

"You got this, Thea." Liam's lips pressed agaisnt her hairline. "And we've got you: me, SAM, everyone on The Tempest. All of us."

"You're sw—"

"I mean it." His forehead rested against hers, his right hand taking her left, hooking his index gently beneath her fingers to guide them to his lips, where the knuckles were, one by one between sentence sections, gently grazed his lips. "I've got you, even when you think you haven't got yourself."

"I know." She ran her right index finger along her undereyes, slowly wiping away the tears that fell silently, as she straightened. It wasn't fully. Just enough to look at Liam with a smile that was half dopey and fond, and half grateful and glad. Just enough to stroke his cheek with the backs of her fingers, grazing minor scars and scratches he had earned (though that was a strong word) from being, perhaps, a hair too reckless between the 'christening' of his sofa and the football match which saw them become an official couple, as if sketching his features into her memory. Her thrumb grazed the gentle curve of his lower lip, etched into a smile. "I've got your back, too."

The kiss was gentle. Slow. Lingering, but chaste — perpetual in it's existence, even when it's sensation had long dissipated and moved on into Touch's memories, and no less overflowing with love-filled confessions words could never truly convey than it's fervent, playful, provocative, and lustful cousins.

"I've not said it yet, but," her left thumb carressed his cheek bone with slow back and forth motions, and she removed a petal that lounged gracefully on his hair - as if perched on a cloud. "I love you. A lot. In case you didn't know."

It made him chuckle. Liam's hands settled on her waist, between her hoodie like he wanted to hold her without the extra fabric, and the fondness of his gaze, with a smile that matched the depths of the canyon from which the deepest adoration was birthed, and made hers sync with his.

"I love you, too. In case you didn't know."

"Never hurts to be reminded." Thea tilted her head, fingers absentmindedly returning to his chest, where his right hand held them both in place, with a smile she wagered most would call dopey. "Want to know something?" He hummed in curiosity. "You're cute."

The bashfulness of his laugh at the unexpected compliment (or, well, she considered it a compliment) was only partially hidden by his smile — beautiful and meeting his eyes. "Just 'cute'?"

"You're handsome, too, don't get me wrong, but," her laugh was from behind closed lips, "you're also cute."

"Fair enough. Can't argue with that." Liam slipped from beneath her and got to his feet with a stretch upwards. He turned to look at her, expeession unchanged except for the gleam in his eyes. "You know," he held out his right hand, "that mean you're cute, too, right?"

She shrugged as she took up on his offer, palm-to-palm, and spoke as she stood. "That a bad thing?"

"No, no. Not a bad thing." He kept encouraging her closer until they were flush together, her right hand leaving to rest on his chest lightly, feeling the echoes of his heartbeat, and her left taken by his right to settle against his waist. All she could do was be glad. Even when her hand was released in favour of slipping around her waist, and his left hand cradling her cheek. "I like cute."

"That's reassuring."

"You're beautiful, too." His gaze darted across her face. Ever inch of skin brown eyes lingered on turned warm, and she swore thst if her not for the rougue amd her freckles masking her natural redness, she would have looked like she faxe planted beetroot juice andbkeftbit too long before cleaning it off. "Really beautiful."

She thought it marginally unfair. He had natural armour against the show of bloodvessels reacting to the heat. She would never know if he was blushing beneath the melanin, but he would always know, even beneath the freckles, that she was. He was perfectly capable of using it to strike her down if he truly wanted to.

But she didn't care.

Not as much as she would have done were he anyone else.

It was a challenge she'd take on, learning all the small things. She already knew the way he spoke changed, as did his laugh. But one day, she would learn them all.

"So" he continued, "you want to show me around your park?"

"My park?"

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Sure, you don't own it, but you like nature. You like flowers. It's yours like your routine is."

"Oh, gotcha." She tapped her fingers over his heart. "You sure? I mean, I know it's not you're usual interest, and with your hayfever."

"A little pollen won't stop me from spending time with my favourite person."

"Alright, Romeo," she gave a grin and stood back far enough to alip her arm around his. He only bent his to keep it there. "But, just so you know, when I'm in company I'm dofficult to shut up about the stuff I know."

"I like listening to you talk." He snickered at her surprised. "What? Imagine loving someone but hating their voice and them being happy."

"Bit backwards, I know, just not used to it being said. One way or the other." She began to walk forward, Liam keeping pace. "Did you know that early and ancient humans ate acorns? They would cook out the tannins that made them bitter, and then eat them. Nothing nutritional to them. And, did you know, that they started to come into existence from the Eocene? They're older than grass. And..."

Just as he had said, Liam didn't mind her onslaught of random facts about anything. If Thea was quiet for too long, or if she trailed off, he was keen on enabling her with questions. Proof that he was listening.