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oh my god ok this one's a long time coming. it's very obviously the wip name for chapter 8 of TYEE, which I'm excited to talk about because there's a lot that happens in this one that I can't reveal fully because I'd like to keep it a surprise but! I can still allude to some of it. Eight in this chapter is wrestling with his newfound feelings for Arcann. He's scared and rather confused with himself and a lot of it is him just. Trying to accept what has been building throughout this story for a while now. The opening paragraph puts it succinctly:

Eight was in love. As much as he tried to deny it, curtail it from taking root, explained to himself in the mirror how many ways this could end in disaster and agonized into his pillows late into the night, he could no more prevent the truth from manifesting in a pit of dread in his stomach as he could stem the world's oceans from colliding with the shore. The very thought of Arcann filled him with longing and shame in equal measure; how could he fall for his enemy? Did he spare no thought to the people of the Empire who now suffered under his oppressive yoke, or had he truly become so selfish that the slightest reciprocated affection was enough to sway him from his mission? Did he really love Arcann, who had imprisoned him and torn him away from his home? Were these feelings his, or a hallucination from months of isolation? All these questions and more plagued Eight's mind day unto night, until he had grown so haggard that the servants worried he had come down with sickness. But the only sickness Eight had contracted was that of the heart. He was in love, and he was afraid.