🌸희윤🌸

“He’s, uh...very discreet about it. None of the boys know. I assume that none of them know about your situation with Chanyeol...Junmyeon just has a hunch that Chanyeol’s head over heels for y- is something funny?” She frowned once you began laughing again.

“Just...Chanyeol, in love with me? That’s literally impossible.” You chuckled, shaking your head.

“Then ask him about it.” She shrugged. “The worst he could do would be saying he doesn’t have feelings for you. I’m Mina, by the way.”

“I’m -”

“I know your name.” She smiled softly. “I guess that’s what happens when you know all of the boys, huh?”

Chanyeol had just so happened to invite himself over to your place again. You were still struggling with everything Mina told you. How could this be true? How could you let this get to you like it was true? There was absolutely way that Chanyeol harbored any feelings for you besides platonic - or lust. Lust was often mistaken for love.

You’d been lost in thought when he basically threw the door open.

“Do you know how fucking draining it is to work with people who have no idea what they’re doing?” He groaned, falling onto the couch next to you.

“The song with the trainee?” You asked.

“Why do they have me working on seventy projects all at once? I’m one guy.” He sighed, running his fingers through his soft hair. You bit your lip as your mind travelled back to the possibility of him having feelings for you. To distract yourself, you thought of the other shocking news you’d received.

“Junmyeon has a girlfriend.” You watched as Chanyeol sat up quickly.

“You’re serious?” He gaped. “I knew something was happening. Do you know who it is?”

“Some Mina girl. She works for SM too.”

“Junmyeon’s so dumb sometimes,” Chanyeol sighed, “he thinks with his heart. You can’t do that in businesses like this.”

“She seemed sweet enough, if Junmyeon had a type it would definitely be her.” You shrugged. “I think it’s good that he’s dating.” You gave him your honest opinion.

“Wanna know what I think is good?” He gave you a signature half smile in return, his eyes meeting yours with an intensity you wished you could unsee. There was no denying him after you saw it.

“Chan, this...is this all you see this relationship as?” You blurted it out before you could think of anything else to say. It clouded your mind. His eyes softened immediately as his eyebrows furrowed.

“What do you mean?” He asked, almost like he was concerned.

“Is this just sex for you? Are we still friends or is this all sex? Is it more than sex?” You shot questions out faster than you could form them and you could see the shock on his face at your boldness.

“Slow down, (Y/N), one question at a time.” He almost smiled. “Of course we’re friends. You can still talk to me about anything. If you don’t want to keep having sex, we don’t have to.”

“That’s definitely not it.” You told him quickly.

“Then what is it?”

“I just...I shouldn’t listen to things people say.” You smiled at him and shook your head. You saw his face drop and his ears turned red.

“You haven’t been talking to Baekhyun, have you?” He was worried, you could see it on his face but you didn’t dare lie to him.

“No, of course not, Mina just thought she overheard things.” You didn’t want him to push anymore information from you so you found yourself leaning forward and kissing him. His lips had always been exceptionally soft, but you only realized when you actually took your time to feel him.

“Do you really want this, or are you trying to distract me?” He breathed against your lips gently.

“Maybe a little bit of both.” You pulled him back to you, the feeling of his lips becoming an addiction that you never wanted to get over. His hand reached up and cupped your cheek. His tongue slid across your bottom lip and you gladly gave his tongue entrance into your mouth.

He explored you like his life depended on it, like he had to memorize every inch of you if he was to survive. You slowly felt him lower you onto the couch, your back coming in contact with the material. He easily found his position in between your legs.

“As much as I’d really like to fuck you until you can’t walk,” he breathed heavily against your lips, “I need...time to be inside you. Lots and lots of time.”

“Take as much time as you need.” You pressed your lips to his again, attempting to unbutton his shirt. He shrugged it from his shoulders soon after you had it unbuttoned. You ran your fingers down his chest, stopping just above the obvious bulge in his pants.

“Everything I have,” he kissed your neck, “is for you.” You’d be lying if you said your heart didn’t skip a beat and that he didn’t make your stomach twist. He did those things - he was the only one to do those things.

His hands slid under your shirt, only breaking his contact with your skin to pull it off of you. He ran his teeth along your neck, a small moan leaving your lips at the sensation.

“I can’t wait to be in you,” he groaned, “I could cum just thinking about it.” His voice grew deeper the more he spoke, the more turned on he got. You felt a chill travel down your spine along with wetness seeping from your core.

“Not yet,” you leaned into his kiss, “don’t cum yet.”

“No promises.” He expertly unclasped your bra, and before the fabric could even hit the floor, his lips wrapped around your nipple, your back arching and a moan leaving your lips. His fingers drifted up to tweak the other.

He sat up abruptly, working on his pants as he attempted to free himself from his confines. There was something so hot about him when his face was overtaken with lust and his hands worked faster than his mind.

You worked on your own pants, quickly shoving both your pants and panties down to your ankles. Before you could kick them off, Chanyeol had already freed himself, his large hand wrapped around his impressive, thick length to get himself ready for you.

He came back over you, kissing you with force, but still softly at the same time. You melted into his lips, whimpering when you felt the tip of his cock against your slit. He reached down, grabbing a hold of himself to tease you gently.

“You’re so wet,” he hummed in content against your lips. You could take it anymore, the waiting, his games. You pushed him off of you, making him sit on the couch as you kicked your pants off before you straddled his lap.

“You take too long.” You muttered before gently sitting down on his length. You’d only gotten him halfway inside when you had to stop for a second, leaning against his chest for support.

His large hands rested on your hips, slowly continuing to lower you down on him. Once he had bottomed out, you were breathing heavily against his neck. One of his hands trailed up to your hair, kissing you gently as he waited for you to adjust.

You felt full. He felt so good inside you that you almost forgot that you would eventually have to move. He was very patient with you, enjoying the way your lips melded together. You started off by grinding your hips against his, anything to give him the friction he desired.

He moaned softly against your lips, the hand not tangled in your hair explored the skin of your back.

“You’re so warm,” he hummed against your lips, “I-I...fuck.” He moved from your lips to your neck, burying his head there while he attempted to keep himself quiet with the skin of your neck.

You lifted yourself up, slowly dropping back down on him. Whimpers of his name left your lips as you began a steady pace on top of him. He moved his hands down to your thighs, rubbing them gently. You couldn’t even think straight as the friction took over not only your body, but your mind.

Chanyeol drove you crazy and there was no way to stop it.

“Stop,” Chanyeol groaned, holding onto your hips, “I want to make you cum somewhere more comfortable.” He kept you close to him, keeping a secure grip on you as he stood up slowly. You involuntarily clenched your muscles around him, a groan leaving his lips.

“You feel so good, Chan.” You told him as he walked towards your bedroom. You felt your back slowly begin to touch the softness of the mattress before your head touched the pillows. Not once did his member leave your core.

“Now let me take care of you.” He pulled out and thrusted back in, it was a continuous cycle of in and out and you didn’t mind if it never ended. You were willing to take anything Chanyeol gave you.

You already felt warm everywhere, it felt like your whole body was tingling as your nails dug into his shoulders. You could already feel everything at a thousand times what it actually was, you knew you’d finish soon.

His chest brushed against yours with each of his gentle thrusts, and if you didn’t know any better, you think he was making love to you.

That’s not what you two did. You fucked and then he usually went home.

His tip brushed against your g-spot and you found a long, loud moan leaving your lips. He bucked his hips, a sure sign that he was close as well. There were no words needed between the two of you to convey where each one was.

He had tells and so did you. His hips would buck and he would give you a desperate look. Sometimes he would bite down on your shoulder, it depended on how rough he was feeling. You enjoyed it all, there was yet to a be a time when you didn’t enjoy sex with Chanyeol.

One more brush against your g-spot and your back arched, your nails digging into his skin as you tightened around him. You left red lines in your wake as he joined you in climax, his release decorating your walls.

He panted above you for a moment before he gave you the same, fucked out smile he always gave you after you had sex with him. You reached up and cupped his cheek, returning his smile as he slowly pulled his softening member out of you.

He rolled next to you and pulled you close to him.

“Do you mind if I crash here tonight? I don’t want a lecture from Junmyeon.”

“You’re always welcome here.” You told him with a chuckle, turning away from him.

“Why do you do that?” He asked.

“Do what?”

“Turn away from me when I ask to stay. Am I not good enough at cuddling? Do my abilities only show in the sex part?” He seemed almost genuinely hurt. He rarely stayed, but he was right - every time he had stayed, you attempted to stay away from him.

“I...I don’t know.” You turned back to him. “I guess I’m kind of scared of intimacy.”

“You...you know we just had sex right?” He attempted to hold back his chuckle.

“Chan, it’s not funny,” you sighed, “let’s just talk about tomorrow.” You went to turn back around again but he stopped you, pulling you close to his chest. Your own chest tightened as you felt yourself tense.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He began to trace shapes against your shoulder. “Just sleep. You can trust me.”

X I U M I N | K I M M I N S E O K

Coming soon

S U H O | K I M J U N M Y E O N

Coming Soon

L A Y | Z H A N G Y I X I N G

Coming Soon

B Y U N B A E K H Y U N

Coming Soon

C H E N | K I M J O N G D A E

Coming Soon

P A R K C H A N Y E O L

❁ Touch Me (M): (01) (02)

Chanyeol doesn’t have a lot of time

D.O | D O K Y U N G S O O

Coming Soon

K A I | K I M J O N G I N

❁ The Crown (M)

In the world of the crown, can love ever really matter?

O H S E H U N

You let out a moan when Chanyeol’s teeth nipped on your collarbone. You felt his lips form a smirk against your skin as he went for the button on your pants. He was right - you had maybe fifteen minutes tops and there was no way you could let Chanyeol go out on stage with a boner.

Well, you could, but what fun would that be for you?

He was already sweaty from dancing for the past hour of the concert, and apparently he’d let his mind wander other places. He pushed your pants down to your ankles and helped you take them off before he caught sight of your panties.

“You piss me off,” he groaned, “I don’t have time to properly appreciate how sexy you look in these.” He was back to his feet, easily towering over you while his hands slid down to your ass. He kissed you before he squeezed, a sigh leaving your lips.

“Appreciate me in a different way, then.” You whispered, working on the stupid leather pants they made him wear. They made his legs look amazing but were the most difficult to get off. You pulled his pants and boxers down in one tug. He kicked them from his legs before pulled your panties down.

You barely had to time get them completely off before he had you lifted up and pushed against the wall. He wasted no time in thrusting fully inside you, his hand over your mouth the only thing keeping you from moaning loudly.

Maybe you should’ve been used to Chanyeol’s cock inside you by now. Every time just got better, he was learning along with you. He pulled out as far as he could before slamming back in, grunting into your shoulder.

“How are you so fucking wet already?” He sheathed himself completely inside of you and you could barely answer. You couldn’t answer. The only thing on your mind was how he hit depths inside you that no one had before, how he stretched you as far as you possibly could be.

“Those stupid fucking dances,” you tossed your head back, not even flinching when you made a noise when your head hit the wall, “you really drive me crazy.”

“I can feel that,” he smirked until you glared at him.

“Get on with it, you have ten minutes.” You tried your hardest to buck your hips to his.

“So needy,” he tsked, “but I guess you’re right.” His large hands gripped your hips and he began his fast thrusts, movements that had your back arching and your fingers tangling in his hair as he kissed your neck.

“Why do you talk so much?” You rolled your eyes, but your voice was shaky and gave away the pleasure you were receiving. There was no way you’d be able to escape Chanyeol. It just wouldn’t happen.

“Oh, princess,” he chuckled, thrusting particularly harder, “you’ve gotten off to my voice before.” He smirked at you before he groaned. “This isn’t fucking working.” You were confused as to what he meant before he gripped you tightly and moved you away. He placed you on the table in the middle of the room, but not before sliding the things on it off onto the floor. The things clattered to the floor and you gasped.

“Chanyeol, they’ll -”

“Good.” He could thrust easily in this position and you were putty in his hands. He gripped your hips and pulled you to him with each thrust. The friction against your walls was already beginning to send you to places that you’ve only reached with Chanyeol.

You couldn’t do anything else except grip the edges of the table as his cock brushed deep inside you, hitting your g-spot hard. Your back arched off the table and you covered your own mouth before you could moan. The warmth growing in your stomach told you that you were closer than you wanted to be. You loved moments like these, just the ones where you could take your time.

“I’m close,” you attempted to whisper it and you saw Chanyeol’s smirk.

“Are you gonna cum on my cock?” His voice must’ve lowered three octaves because it sent chills down your spine. “Cum for me.”

You cursed loudly as your nails scratched against the table in an attempt to hold yourself down. The warmth spread inside you until you felt it everywhere. He leaned down and finally kissed you again before you felt him spill inside of you. He rode out both of your orgasms before he panted against your lips.

“We’ll do this when I have more time.” He hummed. “Sorry this had to be quick.”

“You’re right, it does have to be quick.” You pushed him away from you. “Get dressed you have literally two minutes to be on stage.” He pulled out of you and tossed your panties and pants at you before he found his own clothing.

Once he’d gotten his clothes on, he kissed you quickly before he ran out of the door. You knew to wait a few before you followed, you attempted to use the mirror to fix your hair. You also decided to fix the table as well, considering some of Chanyeol’s cum and spilled onto it.

Before you could finish cleaning it up, the door opened. You spun around, knowing very well the room smelled completely of sex. You saw another of your co-workers. You worked for SM and there was no way you could risk the exposure of your…relationship with Chanyeol.

“I can -”

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” She smiled at you. “I’m not going to turn you in or anything like that. I just heard Baekhyun and Chanyeol talking about you earlier and then…I heard what I presume is whatever was on the table hitting the floor.”

“They were talking about me?”

“Oh, they do a lot.” She nodded. “I’ve known for a while that you two have been dating. He talks about how much he adores you all the time. It’s cute.”

“…I-I’m sorry, dating?” You raised your eyebrows at her.

“Oh, are you not - I’m so dumb.” She blushed.

“No, it’s okay. What adorations do you mean?” You asked, tilting your head to the side a bit.

“I really don’t think it’s my place to say…he -”

“Please,” you looked at her and she sighed.

If only he knew what it felt like to not really have the person he loved. Sure, you had him, you were to be married to him, but his heart was never truly yours. Kim Jongin was to be the only man you ever had in your life.

The weeks leading up to your wedding were hectic. Jongin was seemingly avoiding you and you couldn’t get over the idea of marrying someone who didn’t love you. You sat in your bedroom, which you’d soon be leaving.

You’d grown up in the room, the large vanity that you sat at almost made you cry. You weren’t a little girl anymore and they expected you to act as the future queen. You weren’t ready for that responsibility.

There was a knock at your door and you mumbled to whoever it was to come in. Surprisingly it was Jongin. Once you realized that it was him, you quickly stood from your chair and bowed to him slightly, only to hear him scoff.

“What’s with the formality?” He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh,” you cleared your throat, “of course. About what?” Everything felt different. This wasn’t your friend Jongin anymore, this was your future husband Jongin. You preferred your friend.

“This isn’t going to change our friendship, right?” He asked awkwardly, running his fingers through his hair. “Because marriage and…children could do that.” You watched as a pink blush tinted his cheeks. You almost laughed.

“I’m sure it can’t change any more than it already has.” You told him with a short nod. “Is that all?”

“You know that we’ll still be friends, right? It doesn’t have to be awkward between us.”

“But doesn’t it?” You asked, surprising him. “I mean, it’s kind of ridiculous. We’ve been friends for this long, but now we’re expected to marry and have children. What happens if I refuse to marry you?”

“Why would you do that?” He frowned.

“Because, Jongin, I don’t think our feelings are the same.” You paused for a moment, carefully planning your next words. “I don’t want my children growing up with parents who don’t love each other.”

“Are you telling me that you love me?” He raised his eyebrow at you, to which you found it easy to scoff.

“I figured you would’ve known by now.” You shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I’d like to be left alone.”

“You know I love you, just not -”

“Not like that, I’m aware. I’d like to be left alone.” You repeated yourself, firmer this time as you watched him nod twice before leaving your room. Immediately after the door closed, your resolve crumbled and you let out a shaky breath.

There was no way Jongin hadn’t pieced it together before that. You just shook your head and left your room as well. You found yourself walking to the room where your father - the king - frequented. You hoped to catch him while he was in a good mood.

And that, you did. You found him sitting on the couch in his private library, a thick book spread across his lap and his glasses at the tip of his nose. He looked up at you and you bowed before sitting across from him.

“What do you need?” He asked wearily.

“Father, there has got to be another way.” You watched as he sighed, but you frowned at him. “It just isn’t fair, I can’t love someone who has no potential of loving me. Have some mercy for once in your life. Do you really want me to be unloved for the rest of my life?”

“Darling, you know I can’t do anything about it now.” Your father cleared his throat, sitting straighter. “When I first married your mother, she didn’t love me. Look at us now, you never know what the future will hold for you and Jongin.”

“He’ll never love me, Father.” You shook your head. “I want to be in love.”

“We don’t always get what we want.” He was wrong - you always got what you want as a child. Your parents did everything for you that you asked…but now it was out of their power. You were to marry Kim Jongin and you had no choice in the matter.

The weeks leading up to the wedding, you avoided Jongin. There was no other way. While you were marrying him, until you held at least a little piece of his heart, you’d never truly have him. You wanted to run away. You had no choice with your marriage or anything about your future.

Did you really want the crown or had it always been Jongin’s heart?

It didn’t matter anymore. You’d live the rest of your life being miserable, but at least he’d be there. He was the one thing that made everything okay. You laid sprawled out on your bed, your eyes wandering across your ceiling.

You wondered if your whole life would be like this - lying here while you waited for enough time to pass. With your wedding just a month away, things were hard for you. Why was your heart stuck on a man who only saw you as his best friend? When you were supposed to marry him?

There was a knock at your door and you shifted so your feet could reach the ground.

“Come in.”

There was a man who looked about your age, you knew he was a servant by the way he dressed. He bowed deeply to you and you stood, almost laughing.

“There’s no need for that.” You waved him off. “What did you need?”

“Your father asked me to escort you to his office upstairs for a meeting with Prince Jongin about your wedding.” He informed you. Prince Jongin. You almost snorted but you nodded and followed him out of your room. You’d only been into his office three times in your life - you could barely remember what it looked like.

“So,” you hummed while walking next to him, “what’s your name?”

“I’m Jongdae, your highness -”

“Please, don’t be so formal with me, Jongdae.” You chuckled. “I hate it.”

“Oh, o-okay, your - I mean, okay.” He cleared his throat, and you couldn’t help but laugh at him. All of the female servants that followed you around had dropped formalities with you just because you’d gotten so comfortable with them. You hated thinking you were ‘above’ anyone.

“How’s your day so far, Jongdae?” You asked him with a smile. You could tell how awkward this was for him. His shyness was almost cute.

“I’ve been well.” He nodded his head. “I imagine you’ve been stressed?”

“Beyond belief.” You chuckled quietly. “But I think any weddings are stressful.”

“Royal weddings more so than most.” Jongdae scrunched up his nose as you led you down the halls. “There’s rumors, you know.”

“Rumors?” You stopped, raising your eyebrows at him.

“That you’re in love with Prince Jongin.” His eyes found yours and you were almost taken aback by the courage you saw within the deep brown.

“Oh,” you cleared your throat, looking away from Jongdae’s eyes with a blush forming on your cheeks, “I guess you could say that. Not that it matters, I’ll be married to him regardless of what either of us feel.”

“So what you’re saying is that he doesn’t love you back?” Jongdae’s words shocked you. You’d told him not to be formal but you certainly hadn’t expected that question so quickly.

“Again, I don’t think that matters.” You let a small scoff leave your lips.

“I didn’t mean to offend you, if I have.” He looked away from you. “I just think he’s missing out. It’s dumb, really, he has a beautiful girl betrothed to him since he was a child and he has no regard for it. If it means anything -”

“I’m sorry, Jongdae, but it doesn’t mean anything.” You turned to look at him once you stopped in front of your father’s door. “Because even if what you said was true, what could you do to change things? I’m to be married to this man whether he agrees to it or not.” He looked at his feet.

“You’re right, I’m sorry, your majesty.” He bowed slightly to you. “I’ll be off.” You almost felt bad as you watched him walk quickly in the opposite direction. You didn’t bother knocking on your father’s door as you entered. You saw your betrothed standing next to your father, and for a moment you forgot that you knew him your whole life.

He looked completely different standing next to your father. He looked noble, finally like a king that he would one day turn into. You weren’t sure if you liked it. You didn’t recall when his arms grew muscles or when he grew to be at least six feet tall. You missed the Jongin that would talk to you without thinking of his country, his marriage to your country.

He wasn’t marrying you.

He was marrying your country and your alliance.

“How nice of you to make it, (Y/N),” Jongin said, his shoulders broader than usual and his posture straighter.

“How nice of you to act even bigger than you already are in an attempt to intimidate me.” You turned to your father only to see the small smile on his face. “Is something funny, father?”

“No, of course not.” He shook his head. “You two are just…not what I expected.”

“In what aspect?” Jongin asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “Within the fact that she still thinks I’m a five year old kid that she can boss around or was it the way it’s so blatantly obvious she loves me?” He cocked his head to the side, a smirk spread across his face. The smile fell from your face as you regarded your future husband.

“Maybe, Jongin, if you didn’t act five, I wouldn’t have to treat you like that.” You rolled your eyes, not allowing him to see the way your feelings were wounded by his words. “And I wouldn’t be marrying you if it weren’t for this stupid contract. You’re nothing but an asshole -”

“Language,” your father growled next to you.

“Why?” You questioned, turning to him. “It’s alright for men to swear and act like dogs but for women it’s terrible?”

“Enough,” Jongin’s spite was in his voice, “it’s time we discussed what we’re really here for.”

“Yes,” your father began, “we’ve moved the wedding closer.”

“How much closer?” You hadn’t meant to snap.

“Three days time and you will be married.”

Your heart clenched in your chest and you had no option other than to just leave. You looked at them - the king and his successor. That was all he cared about.

You felt your eyes well with tears as soon as you turned your back. You slammed the doors behind you, your heels angrily clicking against the marble floors as you stomped your way down the hall. This was no way for the future queen to act, you knew that much, but you couldn’t find it within yourself at that moment to care.

You felt soft fingers wrap around your wrist and you were spun around to face Jongin. His eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes held something you’d never seen from him before. Was he actually sad for you?

“Let me go.” You attempted to pull away from him, but he only managed to get you closer. His scent was intoxicating and your heart was racing faster than it should’ve been.

“Just…just because I don’t love you like that, doesn’t mean I don’t care for you.” He sighed, his grip on your wrist beginning to hurt a bit. You broke away from him and glared into his soft eyes that looked as if they could do no harm to anyone.

“No offense, Jongin, but take your care and shove it up your ass.” You smiled at him sweetly before you turned to keep walking.

“Stop walking away from me.” He just commanded you. He didn’t give you an option.

“Excuse me?” You spun around. “Do you forget that you’re not king yet? That you’re still in my kingdom?” You snapped. “My country doesn’t need your alliance, Kim Jongin. Just remember that. Remember that adding fuel to a fire makes it angrier.” You gave him one last glance before you turned back around, wiping your tears as you walked away.

You found yourself on a random balcony, you had no idea which part of the castle you were in but you didn’t care. You leaned against the railings and attempted to stop your tears before it was too late.

“Princess?” The voice was familiar to you, you recognized it as Jongdae’s.

“That’s me.” You sighed. “Unfortunately.”

“Is everything alright? I can see that you don’t seem too enthused.”

“Oh yeah, everything’s great,” you scoffed, “if you disregard the fact that I’m marrying someone who doesn’t love me. Just dandy.”

“I can’t offer much consolation, but you can talk to me if you’d like.” He offered, standing next to you. You looked at him with a smile.

“I’m fine, Jongdae, thank you.” You watched the corners of his lips curl up into a smile. “It’s just stress and -”

“Jongdae, is it?” Jongin’s voice had already begun to irritate you. “May I have a moment alone with the princess?” Jongdae was gone before you could even say anything else.

“What could you possibly want from me right now?” You glared at him.

“Look,” he sighed, “I don’t want this to be how it is between us. We, whether you like it are not, are supposed to act as one person.”

“I can’t believe you’re giving me this speech.” You scoffed, shaking your head.

“You’re the one who said you didn’t want to have children with someone who didn’t love you. I-I don’t want you to think that I don’t care for you. I do love you, just not -”

“Not in the way I want, I got that, Jongin.” You turned to look at him. “Don’t you think you’ve been a bit childish though? I could sit here and pour my heart out to you but it’ll pass right over your head. You don’t care. You’ve never cared.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I’ve always cared. I thought our friendship was stronger than this -”

“Not when you sit there and mock me for the miniscule feelings I’ve developed for you. Not when you avoid me like it’s what you’re alive for.” You felt the tears gathering in your eyes again. “I don’t want my life to be like that.”

“I really am sorry.” He reached out and touched your arm. “I didn’t think it hurt you that much.”

“Well it does, Jongin, and it’s not fair.”

“Come on, I’m gonna fix this.” He grabbed your hand, his surprisingly bigger than your own. “Let’s have dinner. Just the two of us, alright?”

“Where?” You asked, your eyes wide.

His only answer was a smile before he pulled you down the halls with him.

You ended up out in the gardens together, a large blanket spread on the ground with the sun setting in the background. Anyone would’ve said it was perfect if they hadn’t known anything about the two of you.

“You know, I’d love to tell you I made all of this, but I really don’t know how to cook.” He chuckled while giving you some food. “But I managed to grab your favorite kind of wine.”

“How do you know what my favorite wine is?” You narrowed your eyes at him as he poured you a glass.

“Trust me, I pay close attention to you.” He hummed quietly, handing it to you. You accepted it with a smile.

“You’ve only known me my whole life.” You shrugged. “I didn’t think you knew this much.”

“Honestly?” He raised his eyebrow at you. “I know so much more than you think I do.” The evening passed quickly, the sun eventually disappearing from the horizon as he continued to take up your time.

That was the Jongin you’d grown to love. That was the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. You didn’t want to admit it, but you definitely had a bit too much wine. The two of you had laid back against the blanket, looking at the stars.

“You’re more beautiful than all these stars.” He whispered, his voice seeming to blend in with the wind.

“Oh, shut up,” you rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop your blush, “you’re only saying that because you’ve had too much to drink.” He turned over on his side, his body suddenly a lot closer than it was before. You turned a bit as well to look at him, and only managed to put yourself closer to him.

“I’m saying that because it’s true.” He brushed your hair behind your ear. “I don’t know why, but I have the urge to kiss you.”

“I wouldn’t let you.” You barely breathed out, catching yourself looking down to his lips. He leaned forward slowly, his eyes staying on yours until they fluttered closed. You never imagined his lips would be so soft against yours.

Soon after his lips touched yours, his hand moved up to cup your cheek. His thumb brushed against your cheek and you had no trouble kissing him back. You didn’t even recall when he rolled on top of you, his eyes staring into yours before he kissed you again.

“Make me stop.” He whispered against your lips. “You just…I can’t get enough of you.”

“Take me to my room.” Your reply shocked him.

“But you…it’s so important.” He breathed.

“It’ll be you anyway.” You reasoned with him. “Take me to my bedroom, Jongin.”

He had someone come pick up the things the two of you left behind. He intertwined your fingers together as he found your bedroom. As soon as he closed the door behind the two of you, he pressed you against it, his breath fanning against your neck.

“I lied to you.” He took a deep breath. “I’m in love with you.”

“You don’t mean that.” You looked at him, almost terrified.

“I mean it with every fiber of my being. I lied because I was scared, but if I ever…if you ever doubt me, I can prove it to you.” He stuttered over his words. You never imagined Kim Jongin would stutter on his words. Your stomach twisted and you felt your heart skip a beat.

“Then prove it.” Through the dark, you still saw the sparkle in his dark eyes that made him so irreplaceably Jongin.

“I’m scared.” He admitted, his eyes wide as you stared into yours. “I don’t want to hurt you. I’ve never…”

“I haven’t either, Jongin.” You gave him a small smile. “You don’t have to worry so much. Just let go.” His lips were on yours against in seconds. He spun you around and walked you back towards your bed.

He stopped in the middle of your room, walking behind you and kissing your neck gently as he worked on the ties on the back of your gown. Your breath hitched as it pooled at your feet, leaving you in the corset underneath it.

“Tell me to stop and I will, okay?” He turned your face towards him for a quick kiss as he helped you out of the corset.

“Jongin, I want you.” You told him honestly. Once the corset was removed from your body, he lifted you effortlessly and put you on your bed. He looked at your body for a minute before he pulled his own shirt over his head.

“I’ve wanted you for so long.” He whispered, kissing from your lips down to your neck before struggling to get his pants off. Once he’d succeeded, he sat on his knees, his hand trailing down to his cock to stroke it a few times.

“Take me then.” You were becoming impatient, your need for him growing. He climbed over you again and you felt his tip against your core.

“I really don’t want to hurt you.” He nearly whimpered as he teased your slit. “I’d never forgive myself.”

“I trust you.” You replied, reaching down between the two of you to wrap your own fingers around him. A moan escaped his lips as his fingers gripped the sheets next to your head. You knew it would hurt, but when he began to slide in slowly, you were suddenly aware of just how much pain you’d experience.

“Shit,” he breathed, barely halfway inside you, “I’m sorry, I-I can’t -” His hips moved, sheathing himself inside you fully.

You cried out in pain, your nails digging into his shoulders as you attempted to ignore the stinging pain of him stretching you out.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered again. You could feel his body shaking above yours. You cupped his cheeks, kissing him to distract yourself. You knew the pain wouldn’t last, and you knew how hard it must’ve been for him. He, too, was experiencing this for the first time.

“I-it doesn’t hurt as much,” you weren’t completely lying, “you can move.” He moaned in your ear, a sound that you wish you could hear on repeat. He sent a chill down your spine and as he began to move his hips, you could feel something other than pain.

“You’re lying.” He groaned. “Don’t lie to me. I want you to feel good too.” He moved his hips slowly. “You’re so warm and tight, you have no idea how fucking good you feel.” The pain was ebbing away steadily now, and you felt a rush of excitement flood through your veins as you lifted your hips against his.

Your moan was the first sign for him that he could move. He started slowly, but he was unable to control himself for too long. He bit down gently on your shoulder as he moved inside of you.

“I-I…fuck,” Jongin’s hips stuttered and before you even knew what was happening, you felt something warm shoot inside you.

He buried his head into your shoulder, his breathing heavy. You felt him going limp inside you and you felt him curse against your skin.

“That’s so embarrassing.” He groaned, pulling out of you slowly. You couldn’t help the unsatisfied whine that left your lips at the feeling of him leaving you so early.

“What is?” You asked.

“I wanted this to be good for you and…and I got excited like a teenage boy just going through puberty.” He trailed his hands down your body, finding your sensitive clit with his fingertips. “I’m sorry that wasn’t what you were expecting.” He whispered, almost like he was ashamed of himself.

“It was your first time too, neither of us knew how to handle it.” You attempted to say as he pressed harder against your sensitive nub.

“I’ll make you feel good, I promise.” He replied to you, sliding his fingers over your slit before returning to your clit. “That was so selfish of me. Let me make it up to you.” You were about to ask him what he meant until you felt two of his fingers slide into your entrance. You moaned, feeling his fingers inside you while he kissed your neck was doing more to you than you’d like to admit.

Your skin was caked with sweat and a distinct smell filled the room. All you could think about was the way his fingers felt against your walls, you wondered why you’d waited so long to bring him into your bedroom, why you’d waited to share your bed with him.

He curled his fingers and you felt a jolt up your spine. You cried out and you felt warmth all over. Your vision blurred as you curled into his body for support. He held onto you as he continued to thrust his fingers inside you until you calmed down.

Your heart was racing and you weren’t really sure what had just happened but you liked it. It was like nothing you’d ever felt before. For you, it had come out of nowhere. His lips were against yours again, sweetly kissing you before pulling you close to his body.

You had no trouble falling asleep.

When you woke up, you felt safe. For the first time in a long time, you were happy. Your eyes fluttered open only to meet Jongin’s, his still drooping with the need for sleep. He reached up and moved your hair out of your face.

“Good morning.” His voice was a bit scratchy but you loved it.

“Morning.” You replied, curling into his chest.

“You…do you regret last night?” He asked.

“Not a second of it.” You replied honestly.

“Well,” he smirked, lifting himself over you again, “I think I have a lot to make up for. I think…something happened way too early.”

“What if it happens again?” You teased him, running your fingers through his soft hair.

“I guess I’ll have to keep going until it stops happening.” He shrugged with a smirk before leaning down and taking your lips with his.

“I love you.” You mumbled against his lips. There was no hesitation before he answered.