#jongin fluff

What was meant to be a recharging weekend had quickly spiraled into a series of unfortunate events.

From the second you stepped out of your apartment, the universe seemed to have it out for you. You had realized—too late—that your keys were still on the kitchen counter, and because you hadn’t checked the forecast, you were standing on the sidewalk without an umbrella.

The rain broke just as you entered an old bookstore a few blocks away. The transition was instant: the air turned warm, filled with the scent of aged wood, the dark coffee in the owner’s mug, and that unmistakable, comforting must of old books.

You figured you could kill time there while waiting for Jongin, your boyfriend. He was still across town, likely lost in the rhythm of his class, rehearsing with his students for the upcoming dance competition.

Yet lucky days had never really been your thing.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, dear, but we’re closing in ten minutes,” the old bookseller said. Her voice was just as soft and inviting as it had been when you first walked in.

“Oh… right. Sorry,” you stammered, feeling a flush of heat in your cheeks. You felt clumsy under her gaze; she definitely knew you’d been wandering the aisles for an hour without picking up a single thing. Desperate, you grabbed the nearest spine. “I’ll take this one!”

“Of course! Follow me, please.”

As you trailed her slow steps toward the register, your eyes drifted to the window. Outside was a blurred gray. People scrambled for cover or huddled under umbrellas, while a few indifferent souls simply trudged through the downpour.

You prayed your new purchase wouldn’t be ruined the moment you stepped outside, but the universe apparently had other plans for your wallet.

Snap.

The sudden blackout made the woman jump. “Oh, goodness!” She peered through the dim light at the register, which died, then up at the wall clock, marking 4:52 pm. “I’m sorry, dear. I can’t process the sale without the scanner, and it doesn’t look like the power is coming back anytime soon,” she apologized, trying to turn on the light switch with no success.

“No, I understand,” you said, trying to mask your disappointment as you returned the book to its shelf. “I’ll come back for it soon.”

“Thank you, dear. I’ll give you a discount when you return—”

“Oh, no, please! It’s not your fault at all,” you insisted, waving your hands and letting out a nervous, awkward laugh. 

You felt entirely out of place as you offered a final goodbye, pushed open the door, and braced yourself for the cold air. You tried to walk as fast as your shoes would allow, hunched over with your hands uselessly shielding your head. It was a losing battle; your cardigan quickly became wet and a heavy weight against your skin.

Your only goal at this point was the café you frequent. But as you rounded the corner, the sight of the dark windows made your heart drop. The closed sign dangled mockingly behind the glass. Of course, it was closed. It was sunday.

You stood in front of the door, hoping someone from inside could save you, but that didn’t happen. Frustration boiled up, followed quickly by a wave of exhaustion. You reached into your pocket, desperate to call Jongin, and yikes... your phone was dead.

The universe had finally succeeded in ruining your day.

You sank down onto the narrow ledge of the café’s doorway, tucked away as much as the shallow awning would allow. You pulled your knees to your chest, wrapping your wet arms around them to form a tight, shivering ball, letting out a shaky breath, your eyes watering as the frustration finally broke.

You didn’t know how much time had passed in the same position. However, you felt the same way. 

The sound of splashing footsteps echoed down the empty street, growing louder and more frantic until they stopped right in front of you.

“Angel?”

You looked up, your vision a watery blur, to see Jongin hovering over you. He was breathless, his hair damp, and his eyes were wide with a raw panic that made your heart ache.

“Oh… thank god it’s you, princess,” he exhaled, the words coming out shaky. He dropped to his knees in the puddles without a second thought, his hands framing your face, his thumbs frantically brushing away the rain and tears. “I was terrified… I went to the apartment and saw your keys still in the lock, and when you didn’t answer your phone…” he had to pause, “I didn’t know where you’d gone.”

Jongin didn’t wait for you to explain. He felt how violently you were shivering and immediately pulled off his warm hoodie.

“Wait, no—your clothes will get soaked,” you whispered, your voice cracking. 

“I don’t care about that,” he countered softly. He took off your damp cardigan, guiding the oversized hoodie over your head, helping you find the sleeves. It was huge on you, smelling like him and his cologne. “God, I called you so many times.”

“My phone died,” you choked out, embarrassed. “The power went out at the bookstore, and I forgot the umbrella, and when I came here, they were closed and I just… I couldn’t do anything right today. I’m such a mess…”

You braced yourself for a lecture about being clumsy, but Jongin wasn’t like that. He wrapped your arms around you so tightly you could feel his heart still hammering against his ribs from the stress of looking for you.

“It’s okay,” he murmured into your hair, his voice dropping into that low soothing register he reserved only for you. “My sweet girl, it’s just a bad day, that’s all. You’re not a mess. You’re just exhausted, okay? And I’ve got you now.”

You clung to him, your fingers digging into his shirt as you cried quietly into his shoulder, feeling even more embarrassed. He just comforted you, rocking you slightly and pressing kisses to your temple. After a few minutes, he pulled back just enough to look at you, his expression melting into a soft, comforting smile.

“Let’s get you something hot to drink, okay?”

“It’s closed,” you said, fresh tears welling up as you gestured toward the dark windows and the mocking sign. “Everything is closed…”

Jongin looked at the sign, then he let out a soft, tender laugh and squeezed your hand, leaning in to bump his forehead against yours. 

“The café might be closed, but the convenience store is definitely open,” he said, standing up and pulling you gently to your feet. He kept his arm firmly around your waist to keep you steady and warm. “And I happen to know they have that ice cream you love. The one with extra chocolate? We’re gonna buy the whole shelf.”

“Jongin… it’s raining,” you protested weakly, even as a tiny smile finally started to tug at the corner of your mouth. “It’s freezing.”

“It was raining,” he corrected softly. “Which is why we’ll buy a ridiculous amount of sweets, go home, and eat them under the thickest blanket we own,” he promised, leaning down to kiss the tip of your cold nose. “C’mon, princess.” 

He held your hand, and with his free hand, he grabbed your damp cardigan. You kept your hand tucked firmly in his, your fingers entwined, while your other arm was lost deep inside the cuff of his massive hoodie. with the hood pulled low over your damp hair.

Jongin didn’t let the silence grow heavy. “I’m thinking we also need those spicy chips we had last time,” he mused as he nudged the store door open, the bell chiming a cheerful welcome. “Or should we go full sugar crash and get gummies, too?”

“Jongin…” you whispered, though a small laugh bubbled up in your throat as you watched him grab a basket. “We can’t possibly eat all of that. It’s too much.”

“Watch me,” he teased, leaning down to touch your nose with his fingertip. “Nothing is too much for my girl.”

He moved through the aisles, tossing items into the basket like he was on a mission. He’d pick up a package, waiting for your opinion, and then drop it in when he saw your eyes crinkle at the corners. He was doing his best to make up for something he didn’t ruin. 

“Two?” you asked, leaning your head against his shoulder as you followed him to the register, noticing he grabbed two pints instead of one ice cream.

“One for the movie, and one for the ‘just because I love you’ part of the night,” he whispered, leaning down to press a quick, lingering kiss to your temple. 

By the time you reached the counter, the basket was overflowing with a ridiculous mountain of sweets. You watched him pay, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over the last of your frustration. The clumsy girl who had been crying in the rain felt far away now. Standing there with him, your hand never leaving his, you realized that your favorite café wasn’t your safe place—the real one was standing right next to you, making sure you never stopped smiling.

Instead of rushing back to the apartment, you found yourself pulling gently on his hand, guiding him toward the long way home. You weren’t ready to end the magic of the moment just yet; you wanted to linger in this version of the world where it was just the two of you.

“Not ready to go in?” he asked softly, pulling you closer to his side. You shook your head, and he didn’t even hesitate. “Alright, then. Night picnic on the move, it is.”

You walked through the quiet streets, tucked deep into the warmth of his hoodie. Jongin started tearing into a bag of sweets, popping a gummy into your mouth and then into his.

“Thank you,” you whispered, noticing your voice cracked a little, making Jongin stop for a second.

“For the gummy? I’d give you the whole bag if you ask me to,” he murmured, his eyes crinkling into those half-moons you loved so much.

You shook your head, feeling a bit overwhelmed. “Just for... for everything.” You weren’t crying, but you had the urge to hug him tightly enough as he hugged you back.

“I love you, angel,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “And I will love you even more on bad days like today, okay?”

You looked at him with teary eyes, wondering what you had done to really deserve someone like him. “I love you too, Nini,” you murmured, curving your lips because there were no more tears of sadness or frustration, but love.

Jongin smiled back at you, leaning down to finally kiss you properly. His warmth and soft lips were all you needed to feel better. “Let’s go home, honey. I’ll handle the rest.”

jongin huffs. “you hate me.”

“yeah,” you reply sagely, throwing him a grin you know is annoying. “i hate you so much that i married you yesterday. kissed you in front of everyone we love. and promised to always be by your side.” you wiggle your fingers dramatically, the slim silver band on your fourth finger catching the light from above, shining softly.

a permanent reminder of your love, one that jongin also carries now.

jongin groans. “that's not fair.”

“i know. but sickness and health, remember? i didn't think it'd happen so fast. it hasn't even been a whole twenty four hours yet.”

“i don't understand how it happened,” jongin says, pushing himself to sit up and rest against the headboard.

“nini...” you say, concerned, but your husband waves a hand at you. he pulls the blankets over his shoulders with trembling hands that tug at your heart.

“i'm okay. just a little cold.”

“do you want your sweater? i found it on top of my clothes when i unpacked my suitcase.”

jongin shakes his head. “don't need it. i kept it there for you, anyway.”

“kim jongin.”

“are you crazy?” jongin asks, a little hysterical, eyes wide as he looks at you. “calling me by my full name?”

you sigh. “why are you acting like your teeth aren't chattering?”

“it's...the weather. iceland is way colder than home, you know.”

but he shrinks under your gaze. you say nothing as you fill a glass with the warm water and hand it to him. he drinks it slowly under your watchful eyes, scooting closer with every sip he takes till he's resting his head on your shoulder.

“sure you don't need something warmer?”

“i need you,” he mumbles, finishing off his glass.

something warm blooms in your chest. you run your fingers through his hair, wincing at the heat radiating off his skin.

jongin sighs. “'m sorry.”

“for what, nini?”

“getting sick. ruining our honeymoon.”

you frown. “are you seriously apologizing for that?”

“yeah,” jongin sniffs. “i know how much you wanted to see the northern lights. you'd always bring it up every time i mentioned a vacation.”

“i know,” you reason, “but i wanted to see them with you. it would be more magical with you.”

“exactly,” he groans. “now we'll probably have to wait out my fever before we can do anything. or fly back home earlier than expected. god, i wish we were home. i wish i didn't catch this stupid cold.”

“we can't always have what we want, nini,” you say gently, kissing his head, “but you have me. and i'm happy i'm with you. a whole week away from everyone and just with you feels like a dream.”

“...my running nose is a dream?”

“it's not the most ideal situation, but it's you, so it's okay,” you say, patting his chest. “we have the rest of our lives to keep seeing new places, don't we?”

jongin's shy smile highlights his face, like the sun coming out from behind the clouds after a storm. “yeah,” he mumbles, sounding tired but honest. “i'm so happy i married you.”

“me too, nini. now, if you'll be sweet enough to take this medicine as well—”

"You're popular today."

You look up from your laptop and peer at the stack of letters in your roommate's hands. She waves the multicolored pieces of paper in front of your face with a sly grin. "Feels like I'm in kindergarten all over again and the popular kid got all the Valentine's."

"What are you talking about?" you sigh, holding your hand out impatiently. "Nothing exciting about getting a bunch of bills."

"Bills?!" She flops down next to you on the couch and spreads out the pink and red envelopes. "Do these look like bills to you?"

You take the envelopes and flip through them quickly. Sure enough, your name is plastered on the front of each one, each with different handwriting and writing styles. There's no return address, or even any indication of the sender's identity.

"Kinda creepy," you mutter.

"I think it's cute! Who's doing this anymore, huh? I'd much rather get one of these then get another 'you up' message from Hinge." She shudders. "Well, aren't you going to open them?"

You sit there and go through each letter one by one, your face burning embarrassingly hot with each word read out loud between the two of you. They're… love notes. Confessions of feelings ranging from silly and light-hearted to deeply sincere. With each note, you realize the identity of each letter writer: nine distinct men that you’ve had contact with recently. Some of whom you’ve known for years, but some that you barely knew their names.

Each letter ends similarly: a request to take you on a proper first date. 

“It seems like I had better find some plans for Valentine’s Day,” your roommate whistles.

“I don’t even know what to do,” you moan, putting your head in your hands. “Nine dates to choose from?”

“Oh no, my steak is too juicy, my lobster is too buttered.” She pries your head out of your grasp and squeezes your hands reassuringly. “Hey, you know all these guys, right? It’s not like they’re creeps. You really can’t make a wrong choice here. And hey, who said you can’t go on all these dates?”

You roll your eyes, but she nods vigorously. “Seriously! If you really can’t choose… then don’t!”

You look at the scattered letters around you and think carefully. Of course, one date (or nine) couldn’t hurt. The question was: who should you reply to first?

⋆˙⟡♡ the artist you accidentally bumped into on the street last week?

⋆˙⟡♡ the man you’ve started talking to on the commute home from work?

⋆˙⟡♡ the pianist who’s always playing in your apartment lobby?

⋆˙⟡♡ your next-door neighbor who’s always trying to borrow some sugar?

⋆˙⟡♡ the barista at your favorite cafe?

⋆˙⟡♡ the guy you met at the record store?

⋆˙⟡♡ your old college friend you recently reconnected with?

⋆˙⟡♡ the dancer that’s always in the gym at the same time as you?

⋆˙⟡♡ your childhood best friend?

Jongin’s older sister arrived with their bags and water bottles, chuckling at their interaction. “They are excited to dance with you; they’re just stubborn,” she said fondly.

“I’ll take good care of them, noona,” he said as he helped carry the kid’s belongings. A playful thought crossed his mind, so he winked at his sister and looked back at the kids. “Aaand I’ll show teacher Y/N some moves; settle up who’s best.”

Opening the studio door, you carefully managed to avoid colliding with the tall man who was foolishly jumping around. “I look forward to seeing that,” you teased, causing him to startle as he was about to lean against the door, unaware that you had opened it. As a result, he stumbled inside. “Oh my! I’m so sorry!” you exclaimed, struggling to contain your laughter.

Jongin’s eyes locked with yours, finding not only a sweet voice but a sweet, worried expression that melted his heart. In that tender look, he glimpsed the children’s delight in you and realized that his heart may probably learn some new moves as well.

You gently squeezed his wrist, trying to figure out if he was okay. His hold on you was still firm as more of your students arrived and entered the class, but he was still not moving his hand from yours.

“Jongin, everything all right?” His sister asked, bringing him out of his trance.

The warmth of his hand left yours quickly enough, and he pulled off a wide, nervous smile at you. “Sorry, yeah, yeah, everything is all right,” he answered in an almost robotic voice.

His sister looked at you with an apologetic smile. “Okay… I have to go now. I hope you can handle this one, teacher Y/N.”

“I’ve got it! I’m excited to work with him.” You quickly glanced at the still-nervous, smiling man beside you.

“Thank you for taking my kids’ request; they just love their uncle too much.”

Jongin shyly lowered his head, looking at his hand that still lingered with your touch, even though he hadn’t noticed at first that he had held onto your hand for support. He also vaguely remembered you asking more than a couple of times if he was okay because he had been lost in your eyes—just like now that he didn’t even notice when his sister left.

“It’s nice to meet you, Kai sunbaenim,” you paused. “Sorry, should I call you Jongin?”

Although filled with nervousness, he briefly glanced at your hand and dared to purposefully hold your eyes with his own. The patience and care that painted your eyes drew a different type of intrigue and anticipation, unlike any other introduction he had experienced.

A delicate smile graced his face as he hoped that here he could simply be Jongin—that you saw past the surface and name to the heart within. His smile widened when you did not look away, but instead you matched it with an encouraging one of your own as your hands found each other. “Jongin is fine,” he answered and bowed.

“Y/N,” you introduced yourself, mirroring his gesture, even when he had possibly already known your name because of his family.

Jongin had indeed heard your name almost daily for a while. His niece and nephew had talked about their dance classes and their amazing teacher whenever they called or saw him on his days off from service. All that it encouraged was his competitive spirit, not accepting that his niece and nephew looked up to someone else for something he was passionate about. He needed to meet this dance teacher, whatever it took. What he didn’t anticipate was him overthinking his every word and move, not to keep making a fool of himself in front of that person.

“The kids really admire you, but now that they are finally interested in dance, I feel like I need to earn some of that admiration, as their uncle.” He easily went back to his playful behavior, igniting the competitive spirits you indulged in before his stumbling.

You chuckled softly at Jongin’s challenging tone. “Oh really? Your humor is still intact, I see.” You scanned him playfully before you continued. “I suppose if you’re truly set on taking the title, I can’t stop you from trying. Your niece and nephew might finally get to consider you cool for once… that must definitely be tempting.”

Jongin was more than entertained by your reciprocation. His eyes had a new spark, recognizing the drive in yours that matched his own. He chuckled devilishly, but his cute face softened the effect, so your lips trembled, almost breaking your unwavering stare.

Before you could end up allowing him to see through you, you clapped your hands to get the kids attention. “Okay,” you called out, “everyone! How are you all doing? Excited for today?”

The students cheered in agreement, gathering around the two of you. Jongin couldn’t help but chuckle as he saw your interactions with the students, noticing how effortlessly they were drawn to you—especially Rahee and Raeon.

“Wonderful! Alright, before we begin, I’d like to introduce our special guest.” Turning to your side, you were surprised to see him already so engaged with your students. A small smile hid in the corner of your lips as he gazed back at you. “If you want, you can do it yourself,” you encouraged him.

His smile widened, and he tried to match the kids’ heights when he addressed them. “Hi, everyone! I’m Jongin, Rahee and Raeon’s uncle. I hope we can all have fun dancing today,” he softly said.

Jongin’s heart moved as he saw the kids’ excited faces turn towards him; their excitement was gratifying and somehow unexpected. He also caught the surprised yet joyful grins the students gave his niece and nephew, as well as the playful nose scrunches and smiles that they offered back.

You smiled at Jongin as he caught your gaze. “Should we get started then?” you asked with an encouraging smile.

At Jongin’s nod, you instructed your students to find a place somewhere in the space to begin the warm-up while you searched for the kids’ favorite playlist. At first, Jongin watched intently as you gracefully led stretches and movements to loosen muscles until you asked him for help, encouraging him to show the kids his skills. “Care to join in on the fun, our special guest?” you proposed with a playful smirk.

He grinned, stepping forward, following your steps, and later adding some jumping jacks for a little cardio. It was just too easy to find a balance in your teaching methods, and your students seemed quite interested in what Jongin taught them. He looked like a natural; though he is, teaching seemed to fit so well with him. His patience and nurturing were truly admirable.

Across-the-floor combinations brought a fresh energy, with curious and enthusiastic eyes looking at both of you as you interacted and showed the students the sequences for practice to reinforce technique.

“Amazing work, everyone!” you exclaimed. “I’m seeing a lot of improvement in ballet technique. You all have worked hard; let’s have a small break before we continue, okay?”

Raeon immediately ran towards Jongin, along with a couple of his classmates. As he wiped the sweat from his forehead and drank some water, his nephew suddenly jumped on his back, nearly toppling him off the chair he was sitting on. You were beside him, so he lightly pushed you and sprinkled some water over you.

“It’s a tie for me now, uncle.” Raeon admitted. “But we have more dances, right, teacher Y/N?” The mischievous smirk amused you. Raeon was so disciplined, even when he liked to play around a lot.

“Yes, we do! There are lots of surprises awaiting us.” You winked at him, concealing from Jongin the secret you shared with the class.

One of Raeon’s friends made Jongin grin from ear to ear as you offered him the towel you used to dry the water from your clothes. “Your uncle is cool; he’s so tall!” The kid exclaimed. When Jongin took the towel from you, his fingers softly brushed yours, causing a cute blush on his cheeks, which he attempted to hide with his hands but only managed to spill more water from his bottle on him.

You chuckled louder than you had intended; it was just too endearing to you that Joon looked so awestruck at Jongin. The man in question looked up at you, confused by your antics, but he was probably misinterpreting your reaction. “We have a cool guest today, don’t we?” you said, trying to explain your true intentions.

Jongin seemed even more flustered; one could even say shy for a more accurate word. He had been too enthusiastic about winning the kids over, especially his niece and nephew, so it felt like the greatest achievement to hear Raeon’s friend say that he was cool. But then, you said it too. He wanted to keep playing cocky and making a teasing comment, but you sounded too genuine, and instead, you managed to bring an honest smile and a slight blush to his face.

The look he gave you made your heart jump, and the corners of your lips trembled. You fiddled with the cap of your water bottle. “Are you ready?” It was too late to analyze how your sheepish question came about when Jongin enthusiastically nodded and walked over to the center of the room.

As you approached him, Rahee stepped closer, filling each of her steps with energy. “Is it time for the K-pop choreos?” she spoiled.

Jongin's eyes searched for yours, a smug smile playing on his lips as he realized he might have an advantage now. He was confident that he could surprise the kids and, perhaps more importantly, impress you.

“It-it is time!” you exclaimed and looked back at Jongin, who was already shaking his limbs, preparing to take on the teaching of the choreos. It was impossible not to giggle at his determination, but little did he know that it was actually a surprise that they had prepared for him to celebrate his birthday.

“Uncle, sit down!” Rahee tried to shove him all the way back to his seat, but she only managed to destabilize him a little. “It’s still not time to be Mr. Cool!” With that, he took some steps back as he gently laughed at his niece’s statement.

“Well, then I am Mr. Cool, huh?”

Rahee only rolled her eyes and shook her head as she continued to make him step away from the center of the room, her spunky spirit only moving his heart.

Settling onto the sidelines, he directed an anticipating glance at you, only to find you caught in joyous laughter with Raeon and Rahee. You proceeded to carefully ask everyone to get in their places and call in the parents so they could see the day’s performance. This sudden quiet gave him space to breathe and calm his beating heart, but soon enough, reality would only show how his heartbeats would race from then on.

You stood in the center of the room, all by yourself and already mesmerizing, when the song started with the beat drop of Super by Seventeen. The first ten seconds were all you, and it felt like an eternity where Jongin would’ve wanted to spend the rest of his life. The most advanced students joined you for the last ten seconds, ready for the transition to a mind-blowing mashup of Maniac by Stray Kids and Maniac by Viviz.

With that forty-second introduction, the beat turned more bubbly when all of the students joined to dance Super Shy by New Jeans. You had gone to the back so that all of the kids could have their own spotlight. Rahee and Raeon had the brightest smiles on their faces, and they followed the steps so diligently. Love Lee by AKMU was the last song they all danced to, so while the song faded out, Jongin gave a standing ovation, but a familiar melody was overlapping the fading song, and the kids moved to different places as you walked back to the center. Rahee and Raeon stood next to you, adorably getting in character and mimicking their uncle as they waited for the “stop” in his song, Rover.

Jongin flopped on his seat, his eyes flooding with happy tears as he witnessed his lovely niece and nephew dancing to his song. At some point, they took center stage, while you and the rest of the students danced behind them. The parents behind him kept clapping and cheering for their children, only making him even more emotional. They closed the choreography medley with a simulation of his fall in the music video, with Rahee catching Raeon in her arms as he fell backwards. Jongin rose up again, cheering for the little ones as they ran to him and hugged his legs.

You approached Jongin, outstretching your hand with an encouraging smile. “What do you say we have a dance battle to your song? Get the kids to choose who’s the realest cool one between us,” you offered playfully, yet somehow, your tone didn’t come off as challenging as before. It genuinely sounded more like a simple invitation to dance.

He looked at your hand and back at you, a widening smile accompanying his answer as he nodded in agreement. With a gentle gesture, he reached out and took your hand, accepting your request. The parents’ encouraging chants energized him even more, taking his place in front of you for the challenge.

The beats resonated throughout the studio as both of your bodies instantly synced into the opening pose, evoking smiles and chuckles along the way. The battle was far from competitive, as each step united you in a duet-like dance, with all moves becoming actions and reactions, leading to improvised turns and reflected motions.

The atmosphere between the two of you was so electrifying, exuding an overwhelming sense of passion and joy that captivated everyone in the room. Not a single pair of eyes dared to look away, including yours and Jongin’s, as you locked gazes with each other. Even at the song cut, your eyes remained locked, only tearing away when the kids approached, cheering and seeking their uncle’s embrace.

“Teacher Y/N! Teacher Y/N!” Rahee chanted playfully. “You have to come celebrate with us uncle’s birthday!”

“Rahee, noona!” Raeon exclaimed and shook his head at his sister, defeat clear in his face at Rahee’s second spoiler of the day.

On the other hand, I was alone; my partner was busy, and I had to show up to dinner alone. I understand that they had something else to do, and it usually didn’t bother me, but lately I can’t help but feel lonely, especially in places like this where everyone is with their loved ones and I’m not.

I know we have been dating for a year now, and at first I thought I was okay with how y/n acted. I knew they didn’t like to show too much affection, and it was fine with me at first. That is, until I started to feel jealous and like y/n didn’t actually love me.

The whole time I was at Junmyeon Hyung’s place, I tried not to show how upset and jealous I was. I didn’t want to ruin the mood for anyone, so I just stayed quiet.

I was so happy, but at the same time, I envy the other guys relationships. I wish I had a relationship like Kyungsoo and his girlfriend. I love how sweet and caring she was to Kyung, and that’s what I wanted my y/n to be with me.

When I got to Y/N’s place, I knew they were in the shower. I could hear the water running, so I went to the couch, sat down, and waited till they got out.

Well, I was waiting for you. I started to think of all the times I felt like they didn’t love me or cared about me. I really hoped they loved me, but my thoughts were making me think they didn't. I thought if I should say something about my feelings, but I didn’t have the courage to say anything.

Y/n pov

After I got out of the shower and got dressed, I heard a noise coming from the living room, and I knew Jongin had just gotten back from dinner with his bandmates, so I made my way to him.

When I got closer to the living room, I saw Jongin sitting and taking a deep breath with a shaky sigh, and I knew there was something upsetting him.

So after standing in the doorway of the living room and looking at his back, I decided to talk to him.

When I got closer, I clearly cut my throat so he could see me and walk around the couch to sit next to him.

“Hey Jongin, what’s wrong? You seem upset?” I asked in a soft voice, “What’s wrong? You can talk to me; you know that, right?”

“Can I? Can I actually talk to you, and would you even care about what I have to say or about my feelings?” he replied in a harsh tone.

“Of course you can talk to me, baby. What makes you think I don’t care about what you say that?” I was confused and hurt.

“I don’t know, how about you tell me? Tell me why you don’t actually love me; tell me how you don’t want to hold me or kiss me; you don’t even want to spend time with me,” he said, raising his voice.

“Where is this coming from? When have I made you feel like that?” I replied

“All the fucking time, I feel like you don’t even want to date me. Since we started dating almost a year ago, I felt jealous of my friends relationships, and I even feel jealous seeing strangers with their boys or girls. I just wish we could be like them and show others that we are together and that we love each other,” he said, upset.

“Why have you never said anything? Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling insecure and jealous? Why didn’t you come to me and tell me how you feel?" I was upset as well.

“Because I didn’t know if you’d care,” he replied with a sigh.

“Baby, do you know how much I want to do all that, but there’s something in my past that keeps me from doing so?” I said, embarrassed.

“What do you mean by that?” He asked, confused.

“Well, a few years before I met you, I had this boyfriend who treated me badly. He hated when I tagged along with him and his friends. He hated when I tried to cuddle him or even hug him. He just hated everything that had to do with physical affection. So as time went on, he made me believe that showing my feelings for the ones I love was bad. That’s why I never did all those things in fear that you would hate them as well. I know it sounds stupid, but he was a really bad person.” I really let the tears fall.

“Oh Jagi, why didn’t you tell me that sooner? Now everything makes sense,” he replied as he pulled me closer to him.

“Jongin I do love you. I love you so much that it scares me to lose you. You don’t know how much I wanted to hug you in public or in front of your friends, but I was just scared. I’m so sorry for making you feel like I didn’t care,” I said, looking up at him.

"Jagi, it’s okay. Just promise me that you won’t hold back your feelings. If you want a hug, you can hug me. If you need reassurance, I’ll be here. All I want is to feel your love and affection because I love you so much that it hurts not to receive your love,” he said, kissing the top of my head.

“Same for you, Nini. I want you to tell me how you feel. If you think that I’m not giving you enough love or attention, don’t hesitate to let me  know." I replied back.

“From now on, I will make sure to do some. Now let’s go to bed and have a long cuddle session, and tomorrow we can go out for breakfast and then do whatever you’ll like,” he said as he got up from the couch and pulled me up with him.

"Yeah, maybe we can invite the boys over for dinner and play some games,” I asked.

“Yes, we can have a game competition between couples and see which one is the best,” he replied, excited.

As we walked to my bedroom, I couldn’t help but admire him. He looked happy talking about all the couple stuff he wanted to do. He looks so excited now that he finally got what he wanted.

He wanted to be reassured; he wanted to be told that I love him. It might have taken us a bit longer, but now we are both happy and no longer feeling trapped or anxious.

Your heart rate was increasing just hearing his words. Everything came into sharp focus. Kai’s odd combination of Hawaiian shorts, a silk shirt and flip-flops. The cigarette butts still smouldering in the ashtray on the balcony he thought you didn’t know about.

The sound of your phone alarm, titled, LEAVE THE HOUSE BITCH, began to buzz like an angry wasp in your ear.  

“Um, yes, sweetie, of course I want you to look after Jasmine, it’s just-“ you scrambled for a lie. “You’re… too… busy! I don’t want to get the way of your fancy actor work!”

He frowned. “But baby, you know shooting hasn’t started yet.”  

You needed a better excuse. “But your lines. You have to learn them. I would rather than die than keep you away from your lines.”

You could almost hear the drone of the station announcer: “Last call for the 8:05 train. Last call…”  

Kai grinned in disbelief. “You’re saying I can’t look after Jazz… because I have to read a script?” He frowned. “Do you not trust me to look after our daughter?”

“Oh, Kai.” You squeezed your temples. “I don’t have time for this. Fine You want the truth?. No, I don’t trust you with my child.”

“Our child.” Kai scoffed. “And you can’t say that! How could you?”

You gestured to the pigsty that was the apartment. “You’re irresponsible. You’re untidy. You’re out partying every night-“

You were about to say more, but you stopped yourself. Some things were too true to say. Everybody deserved a few lies to cling onto.

Kai sighed, and you hated how well he knew you. “Go on. Say what you’re thinking.”  

You sighed. “Oh… and acting is not a real job!”

Kai bit his lip, pain flashing over his handsome features. “So, what was your big plan? Keep her from me for the next eighteen years?  

You tried to deny it, but fell silent when you saw the pain in his eyes. “N-not eighteen. Maybe… ten.”

And suddenly, you felt like an awful person. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. You- you’re a great father, you just… don’t have the skills yet to look after her. The knowledge.”

Kai sighed. His voice was very quiet. “I know that she naps between eleven and one. I know that Fuzzy is her favourite toy. I know that she can’t sleep on her tummy, or drink cow’s milk, or have too many baths.”

“How did you…” you started. “I read those parenting books that you aways leave lying around,” Kai said, crossing his arms.

You stepped towards him, smoothing your hands over his face. “I had no idea…”

You pressed your lips to his, and in the shape of his firm body, his scent, you almost lost yourself.

Kai gently pulled away, crooning, “Go. As much as I’d like you to stay, your genius is needed at a board meeting. I’ve got her.”

You smiled, picking up your bags. “Okay. But I am FaceTiming you in an hour. Every hour, actually.”

Kai grinned, that lopsided grin that made you giddy when you were still nineteen and an extra on some unknown TV show. You may have given up on acting, but you never gave up on the boy of your dreams.

You left a little piece of your heart with Kai and Jasmine, then shrugged on your blazer and stepped out into the brightening morning light.  

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