I really wish I had been a fly on the wall when the Money Supermarket people approached Mattel.
âWeâd like to use He-Man and Skeletor in our next commercial.â
âWell, that can certainly be arranged. Whatâs your commercial like?â
âOkay, so it begins with He-Man arriving at a barâŠâ
âNo, a bar here on Earth.â
ââŠAnd inside sits Skeletor by the counter, he sees He-Man enter, and thereâs tension as their eyes meet across the room. A voiceover says âHe-Man and Skeletor saved at Money Supermarket, and now they feelâŠEpic!â
âDonât know what that means, but okay.â
âThe patrons all fall quiet as He-Man walks up to Skeletor and draws his swordâŠâ
ââŠAnd then they fight!â
âNo, He-Man uses his sword to start the jukebox!â
âŠsorry, He-Man does what?â
âHe starts the jukebox, and it starts playing âTime Of My Lifeâ
ââŠyou mean that song from Dirty Dancing?â
ââŠHe-Man and Skeletor fight to the music from Dirty Dancing?â
âHe-Man hands his sword to a barmaid, and he takes Skeletors hand in his, and they begin dancing closely together, He-Man leading them in a reenactment of the final dance scene from Dirty Dancing.â
âŠsoâŠHe-Man and Skeletor areâŠin love?â
âObviously. So, they dance for a bit, but thereâs a break as He-Man accidentally throws Skeletor through a wallâŠâ
ââŠbefore He-Man then leads the entire bar in a choreographed dance number, which culminates in Skeletor jumping into He-Mans arms, and the voiceover says âHe-Man and Skeletor, youâre so Money Supermarket!â
âŠWhâŠwhat does that even mean?â
âItâs memetic, trust me, the internetâll love it. So what do you think?â
âŠSo you want to use He-Man and SkeletorâŠin a commercial for something called Money SupermarketâŠand have them slow dance together?â
âThatâs your commercial?â
âYes. Well, one of them.â
âThatâs right, now this second commercial begins in Skeletors lairâŠâ
âNo, a house in this little English town, like say a two-storey terraced house in a quiet little neighbourhoodâŠâ
ââŠAnyway, Skeletor is in his bedroom with his cat, not the big panther one, just a regular black housecat, and he starts slowly dancing as a voiceover says âSkeletor saved at Money Supermarket, and now he feelsâŠEpic!â And then, Skeletor kicks down his front door and comes out dancing to the sound of the song from Fame!â
âYes, you know, the âIâm gonna live foreeeveeerâ one, anyway, out in the street thereâs this middleaged woman walking her dog, and Skeletor dances up to her and seductively thrusts his hipsâŠâ
ââŠAnd the woman canât help but join in. Then we cut to see Skeletor dancing down the street, still with the music playing, and the villagers all watching him pass by, he makes it into town and hands his magic staff to a boy, and the boy follows him with the staff as Skeletor really breaks out his best moves, and He-Manâs outside the supermarket loading up his trunk with groceriesâŠâ
âThe trunk of his Attak-Trak all-terrain vehicle?â
âNo, the trunk of his station wagon.â
âAnyway, Skeletorâs attracted quite the crowd at this point, and theyâre all joining the party, right, and He-Man draws his swordâŠâ
âPlease donât tell me he starts to dance with him again.â
âNo, he holds it up and says his famous catchphrase, "By the Power of Grayskull!â, and he points at him and says âSkeletor, youâre so Money Supermarket!â, and Skeletor, obviously flattered, lets out his classic nyeh-heh-heh laugh.â
âAnyway, thatâs the commercial, what do you think? Can we use them?â
âFine, I will, but you know, this isnât very Money Supermarket of you!â
âSo how did it go, did they accept?â
âWell, I didnât hear a "noâ, soâŠâ
"Excellent, Iâll tell the filmcrew to move forward. Hey, come to think of it, do you think theyâd let us have She-Ra doing "Footlooseâ in front of Hordaks henchmen?â
"IâŠwouldnât push it.â
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