Crowtree

I am unfortunately a person with many ideas, and very little ability to be able to correctly convey those ideas into a consumable format.

Yet at the same time I have no ideas at all and the ability to create the ideas of others when inspired, I live in an endless cycle of creating.

Yet, when I want to create something in the way I view it I fall flat, I have the ideas for a story I wish to create yet when it comes to writing that I become stagnated and frustrated, wanting to see the end product of what I picture yet not having the mental energy to actually create it.

I am punished by my own solitude, I feel as if things would work better if I could just give my ideas to another. Put the story into their head and shape the words they write yet not have to do it myself.

I feel as if I can picture the art I want to create yet I become frustrated, as I know how do it I know what I wish to see and yet for some reason my hands are unable to complete the actions.

But, at the same time I wonder how many of my ideas are my own or have been inspired by others subcontiuoulsy, I make the mistake of throwing away writings and sketches that someone may have loved, I poor time into work no one will see, in a desperate cling to a want to prove that I can do it to myself.

I have distanced myself from the craving for validation I felt in my youth, yet it still sparks joy. I want to be good at something and to let people see the work I do but I hold myself to a high standard that no one set for me but my own perception