Ovi‘s Dick Piercing

Free agency means hockey is getting closer, but for some it’s close enough. New faces have been added, and familiar ones have departed, so why not take advantage of all the new possible dynamics that have graced us?

Introducing: Free Agency Fic Fest, a fest purely dedicated to the under appreciated and under utilized ships within the hockey fandom. Whether it be an existing pair or a new one spurred by an acquisition or trade, this is the place for it.

Prompts can be submitted now until September 1st, and the deadline for writers to submit their works will be two or three days before regular season starts (a specific day will be given once regular season schedules are posted). Fics will then go live on the first day of regular season. Writers can submit their entries as early as they’d like, but I’d recommend taking some time to edit and revise, but that’s not strictly necessary.

Don’t see a prompt that’s tripping your trigger? Not to worry! A free space will be provided that allows for any ship, as long as it falls within the rules of the fest. I really want anyone and everyone to participate, so I hope this covers all the bases.

RULES:

1. As stated, this is a rarepair event. The ship must have less than 50 fics in the ship tag to be counted. I will be checking each prompt to see if they fit within these rules; if they don't, they will be removed.

2. Please refrain from requesting athletes who are racist, homophobic, have committed domestic violence or sexual assault. Examples: Carter Hart, Patrick Kane, Evander Kane, Matthew Tkachuk. For now, certain athletes will still be accepted, however do not be surprised if nobody writes for them. Examples: the Hugheses, Auston Matthews. These are players who have participated in an event that may indicate their morals one way or another, but there is no definitive proof, so they will be allowed until proven otherwise.

3. Absolutely no AI. You cannot use AI for anything, whether it be "rephrasing sentences" or brainstorming. If any AI is found, your work will be removed from the collection.

4. At least ONE of the people must be a hockey player or have been a hockey player. Example: Dan Potash/Evgeni Malkin is acceptable, so is Josh Getzoff/Colby Armstrong.

5. PWHL, European leagues, and college leagues are welcome to participate! Literally the only requirements are that they have to play hockey, and that there are less then 50 fics within the AO3 tag.

6. RPF ONLY. Fictional ships are not permitted. Not even if one half of the ship is real.

Please direct any questions to my ask box!

what if you were a first overall pick that had the weight of the world on your shoulders. what if in the span of a year and a half had lost one of your best friends in a messy trade situation to your division rivals and that person scored a hat trick to eliminate you from the playoffs. what if you finally got your captain back after three years. what if you got the chance to play with your hero and best friend three times in the last year and a half on an international stage but only one led to glory. what if you finally got to play at the olympics and in the end, you were relentlessly bullied for one shot and a stoat. what if you had a generational season built on love and friendship, broke countless records, won the rocket richard and were snubbed from the hart. what if you had an incredible first two rounds of the playoffs and lost to vegas while getting a knee injury, the same injury that took out your captain and best friend.

the saga continues:

- I have seen the “oh, he is getting payback!” Posts. Ok, lets asume he is destroying them. And for what? Anaheim is in the West! There is zero divisional gain here. If the ducks don’t match, Philly just traded away 4 unprotected first round picks to pay a 21 year old 20% of their cap space, without a path to build actual depth. I mean, I could be wrong, but they’re not building a cup contender.

- If they match, he won nothing because he will also suffer from this wage inflation

But the real tragedy here isn't even Philly’s future. It's what this does to everyone else:

- Habs have their entire young core locked down long term on incredibly team friendly deals. They built a healthy locker room where no one is bigger than the rest. But now? Montreal needs a reliable 2C, and that player's agent is going to point at Carlsson's contract and demand double what Demidov makes. It’s a joke.

- And don’t even get me started on the San Jose Sharks. Now, thanks to Philly inflating the market like a tech bubble, Celebrini’s agent is going to walk into negotiations in a couple of years demanding at least $24M AAV, which will be a problem for that GM when Smith, Misa or Askarov have to renegotiate too. That nurse contract is not looking so hot now.

How will teams build depth?

- Briere’s move demolished the NHL middle class.

- From now on, you’ll have 3 or 4 mega rich stars swallowing the entire cap, and the rest of the lineup will have to be filled with rookies on ELCs or desperate veterans playing for league minimum.

- Those gritty, $3M bottom six players who actually win you Stanley Cups? Gone.

i want him to have summer of exploration and sleep w a twink (his skin is so smooth my hands are so rough…i look so hairy) and a bear (wow we both have beard burn and chest hair) and have big emotions about the gender of it all. glee after dying his peach fuzz black so it’s a mustache.

i love ur cheesy gay porn masculinity assessment (ur so right about the mustache) and im also dying ur role play neighbor idea. nate thought “let me show you my sprinkler system” was a euphemism. it’s not. it takes two hours and they break the sprinkler. sid buys a riding lawnmower for roleplay. u are so correct about the jock of it all. god. he would love those used jock bins at gay sex stores.

(also i both completely forgot i sent that ask and was having a bad day and now im walking around going yeah my meat IS huge and my mind is a treasure!! so thank u and also so is yours)

SID WOULD LOVE 👏 THE USED 👏 JOCK BIN 👏 AT GAY SEX STORES 👏

bestie ur SO RIGHT about ALL OF THIS. i think he’s been avoiding the word “kid” for like a decade by the time it becomes relevant to nate, so he doesn’t say it out loud (except maybe once on accident) but he does THINK it a lot in a specifically age difference gay sex kinda way, especially in the early years. not so much once nate cuts his greasy rookie hair and glows up from cabinet into full fridge.

frankly rookie sid having a Queer As Folk phase and having his horny third eye pried wide the fuck open by champ/stud/sport and fucking his way across the (masculine) gender spectrum and figuring out the shape of his own masculinity and body through it is SO important to me. there is for sure a 5+1 fic in there somewhere (5 people sid fucks that help him figure himself out +1 he fucks after he’s got it all figured out?). the whole thing about dying his peach fuzz is 1000% a gender euphoria thing, ur SO right about it. getting treated like a young stud is definitely still a turn on for him even after fifteen years with all his salt n pepper hair, although he’s definitely also appreciating aging into other types of kink and roles (playing around on the other end of age difference based role plays, for sure, although he misses being the hot young stud sometimes)

im SCREAMING at “they break the sprinkler” because they DO. sid ABSOLUTELY buys a riding lawnmower for roleplay and fucking on it is somehow the most athletic feat that him and nate accomplish in their lives. it’s also so important to me that the roleplay is not just cheesy but also includes just bad dirty talk; just the worst cheesy porn dialogue you’ve heard in your life. sid spends twenty minutes effusively listing the merits of the lawnmower and then they proceed to the “demonstration” part of the roleplay and nate puts on his best “hot young stud seducing the hot dad next door” voice and goes “doesn’t the vibration feel bad when you sit on it?” and sid goes “oh you’d be surprised. you can sit on my lap and see for yourself, champ” and nate dies a little on the inside because he does not give a fuck about this at all, but sid’s SO RED because this is turning his crank SO HARD, which is what turns nate’s crank so they have the best sex you can physically have on a lawnmower. nate’s astonished afterwards by the grade-A quality of the sex given how embarrassing and weird and cheesy the lead-up was. it’s somehow better than the time that sid plays a pool boy (he’s a part time older college student who does this on the side, sid has a backstory all figured out) to nate’s rich young single guy in a sort of reverse sugar daddy/sugar baby thing and that was so weird and hot.

i’m like SO into sid and nate just doing the weirdest most embarrassing shit in bed. one of the best erotic gifts sid ever receives from nate is a matching set of custom jock straps for them both. nate doesn’t care for them but sid is OBSESSED with gay porn paraphernalia (even though he does not freely admit it) and he has to jerk himself off onto the floor when nate makes him mouth at his sweaty balls through the jock strap for like twenty minutes one time.

So before we start, this will be long in part because there is a lot and partly because I will be including parts of the CBA in image form.

You may or may not already know parts of this. You may know that a player is on an ELC but not what group that is or what that actually means. You may know that a player is an RFA, but not which kind or why. This is here to (hopefully) help you understand the groupings, what they mean, and why or why not players get moved every free agency.

*Notes:

SPC: Standard Player Contract

ELC: An "Entry Level Contract" which is an SPC subject to the ELS.

ELS: Entry Level System - The rules system for limiting rookie contract payouts

An Accrued Season: A year in which a Skater is on an NHL roster for a minimum of 40 games and a Goaltender is on an NHL roster for a minimum of 30 games.