By asking Rick astley to hand you a copy of the movie âupâ you create a paradox wheras he either has to give you up, or let you down.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@crookedtransparantmilkshake
By asking Rick astley to hand you a copy of the movie âupâ you create a paradox wheras he either has to give you up, or let you down.

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THIS IS HARROWING WHAT IS THISSSSS
if kirby had access to the internet he would go on google images and look at pictures of fruit
kirby and yoshi would send each other emails with cool pictures of fruit attached
#NotMeUs is the multi-racial multi-generational working class coalition needed to defeat Trump and guide us through this difficult time. Every vote is important to reach a majority of 1991 delegates before the convention (otherwise itâs almost certain Biden will be chosen), so please take action to help make Bernie Sanders the nominee.
HOW TO HELP BERNIE 2020
Donate â> https://secure.actblue.com/donate/bern-site?refcode=splash-top-right
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âş
Enjoys scritches then cries when he drops his stick!
HOW CAN YOU NOT
A d o r a b l e
I genuinely cannot believe I can now relate to this Hermione Granger moment
some of these r edited awkwardly bc I forgot abt the paint feature ;//
A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN
yes hello i am here to learn geometries
That crow is more prepared than some of my students.
Youâve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. Thereâs been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL.Â
THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM
Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans.
Corvids. Who KNOWS. :)
Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didnât know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are.
they still shit all over the place and eat garbage
ok but so do we
@neurodivergent-crow
Cool facts about crows:
1. Crows understand the concept of gifts.
Thereâs a little girl who started feeding the murder by her house and they started bringing her trinkets (cool pebbles, coins, shiny things, bleached animal bones, etc) as a thank you.Â
2. Crows remember who has been kind to them and tell other crows about the nice humans.
There are various examples of people who have helped crows and the crows not only come back to say hi, but also bring friends who need help over for the nice human to help.
3. Crows are the only other animal known to make tools in order to make another tool.
4. Crows have been proven to have a sense of self
If you mark them with a coloured dot that they can see and then show them their reflection in a mirror they soon realize that the reflection is them and not another crow.
5. Crows have regional dialects and accents.
They are also able to copy each otherâs dialects and accents to fit in if they move to an area where the accent is different.
6. Crows regularly visit their parents after leaving the nest.
They also regularly live with their parents after reaching adulthood to help with raising their younger siblings for up to five years before moving out.
Crows are better than people
Iâm starting to see crows in a new light
@igonecrazy
You should! Theyâre adorable lil nuggets âşď¸
okay, what do I feed the murder by my house to make cool crow friends?
Corvids are fab. :)
What do crows like to eat, asking for me
how are people this stupid iâm speechless
let me get this straight. this is a PANDEMIC (as officially declared by the World Health Organization), and itâs not âjust like the normal fluâ, let me tell you why:Â
itâs HIGHLY contagious, as a matter of fact itâs more than two times more contagious than the flu;
its incubation period is 14 days, which means you could be already infected and only start to show symptoms in two weeks which, in turn, means that you have two full weeks time to infect everyone you come in contact with;
we donât have a vaccine or specific treatment yet;
it is potentially mortal for older people, people with pre-existing conditions, and immunocompromised people BUT itâs also very dangerous for everyone else tooâa lot of younger people have died;
it attacks the lungs, which means a lot of patients will need respiratory aid, which means hospitals get full really fast and if thereâs a shortage of machineries (which, there is), doctors might even have to choose to save a patient over another;
that 2% fatality rate is not confirmed, it was an initial hypothesis. if you look at the numbers of Italy the percentage is much higher. as of right now the number of infected in Italy is 12462, the number of victims is 827: now iâm no mathematician, but iâm pretty sure thatâs more like 6,6%; (while iâm on the subject, you may want to double check how your country is counting victims: a lot of countries are only counting people who died OF coronavirus, while the more accurate way of counting would be to consider those who died WITH coronavirus);
a lot of countries arenât even testing properly yet, which means the numbers are highly debatable.
we all initially underestimated the situation here in Italy and now look at us. weâre all stuck at homeâwe canât leave unless strictly necessary. no school, no uni, no cinema, no theatre, no weddings, no funerals. weâre queuing to enter supermarkets and pharmacies. our hospitals are full and our doctors are exhausted. weâre all doing this not because weâre overly dramatic or something, weâre doing this because itâs the only way to prevent the virus from spreading (as the news from Wuhan show) and therefore to safeguard everyone and keep the hospitals going. Â
this is not a joke and, most importantly, this is not just about YOU. you may not care whether you live or die, as the tweet states, but you SHOULD care whether you jeopardize other peopleâs health with your careless behavior. donât be fucking idiots and travel just because itâs cheap and because yolo. stop for a second and THINK
Medical professional here right on the front ass line of this shit, here to correct some inaccuracies on this fear mongering because yâall are doing my god damn head in.Â
COVID-19, specifically the new coronavirus responsible for this mass panic, is equally as contagious as influenza, in that itâs transmitted by droplet and fomites, meaning the SAME precautions are required for both [x]
The word youâre looking for is âfatalâ, not âmortalâ.Â
Influenza is contagious within the first few days of an individual becoming sick, however can be transmittable up to 7-10 days afterwards. This means Influenza can spread faster than COVID-19 [x]
The prevention for both diseases is the same: cough etiquette, good hand hygiene and containment if unwell. The treatment is the same: rest, symptomatic management, and supportive measures in the case of severe disease.Â
Death toll: the overall mortality rate for COVID-19 is 3.4% [x]. As of posting, itâs March 12, so that number is likely to change with each day that the situation evolves. Itâs likely we will see the number decrease as the virus spreads and the ratio of recovered people to people who have died evolves. This number is highly changeable and itâs impossible to provide an accurate reflection of it given the rapidly changing nature of the knowledge we have.
Of these deaths, 14% have been people over the age of 80 (reflecting comorbidities such as lung or heart disease), as opposed to 0.4 of 40-50â˛s and 0.2% in people aged 10-39. So no, not âa lot of young people have diedâ. [x] Only one known case of someone under the age of 19 has died in China [x].
By comparison, this flu season, 136 paediatric patients have died with influenza associated pneumonia in the USA alone [x]. Influenza is far less discriminatory in who it infects and who is susceptible to severe illness, with several. strains targeting young, healthy and otherwise fit individuals in particular.Â
Doctors never choose to save one life over another. If they do, they should not be a doctor, and you have a lawsuit on your hands. If a hospital is overwhelmed with equipment shortages, they will find a way to treat the patient anyway. My hospital for example has the capacity to look after up to five patients requiring intubation (a machine doing the breathing for you). In the case where we have had people needing ICUÂ and our ICU is full (which has happened the last few flu seasons), we have treated the patient anyway in the ER and then transferred the patient to a hospital capable of continuing their care. Iâm so gobsmacked that youâd even make a remark like this that Iâm honestly wondering whether or not i should be offended.Â
As of march 10, over 66 thousand people have recovered from the disease. That is more than half of those infected.Â
I understand being afraid and uncertain because this is a new virus and the response to it is unlike anything weâve ever seen before with other pandemics (Hello SARS, hello MERS, hello Swine Flu, hello HIV/AIDS! A few notable mentions since the 00â˛s). But for everyone using this website, the OP of the tweet posted is right: you probably wonât die from it. At most, youâll feel like youâve had the worst cold of your entire life and be stuck in bed for a few days.Â
Take precautions! Wash your hands! Isolate yourself for 14 days if youâve been in contact with someone who has the virus.Â
But please stop spreading misinformation about the virus because it is doing NO one any favours and it is only contributing to irrational fear that is putting MORE burden on health systems that are already struggling enough.
Sincerely, your local exhausted Emergency RN.Â
also, you young able bodied fucks who run around yoloing with cheap flights and junk will be FINE if you get the disease. You know who wont be? The elderly and disabled you infect during your melodramatic swan song tour of Europe. pandemics arent a personal issue. when you make the choice travel despite having the disease youâre making the choice for EVERYONE you visit to have that disease as well

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how are people this stupid iâm speechless
let me get this straight. this is a PANDEMIC (as officially declared by the World Health Organization), and itâs not âjust like the normal fluâ, let me tell you why:Â
itâs HIGHLY contagious, as a matter of fact itâs more than two times more contagious than the flu;
its incubation period is 14 days, which means you could be already infected and only start to show symptoms in two weeks which, in turn, means that you have two full weeks time to infect everyone you come in contact with;
we donât have a vaccine or specific treatment yet;
it is potentially mortal for older people, people with pre-existing conditions, and immunocompromised people BUT itâs also very dangerous for everyone else tooâa lot of younger people have died;
it attacks the lungs, which means a lot of patients will need respiratory aid, which means hospitals get full really fast and if thereâs a shortage of machineries (which, there is), doctors might even have to choose to save a patient over another;
that 2% fatality rate is not confirmed, it was an initial hypothesis. if you look at the numbers of Italy the percentage is much higher. as of right now the number of infected in Italy is 12462, the number of victims is 827: now iâm no mathematician, but iâm pretty sure thatâs more like 6,6%; (while iâm on the subject, you may want to double check how your country is counting victims: a lot of countries are only counting people who died OF coronavirus, while the more accurate way of counting would be to consider those who died WITH coronavirus);
a lot of countries arenât even testing properly yet, which means the numbers are highly debatable.
we all initially underestimated the situation here in Italy and now look at us. weâre all stuck at homeâwe canât leave unless strictly necessary. no school, no uni, no cinema, no theatre, no weddings, no funerals. weâre queuing to enter supermarkets and pharmacies. our hospitals are full and our doctors are exhausted. weâre all doing this not because weâre overly dramatic or something, weâre doing this because itâs the only way to prevent the virus from spreading (as the news from Wuhan show) and therefore to safeguard everyone and keep the hospitals going. Â
this is not a joke and, most importantly, this is not just about YOU. you may not care whether you live or die, as the tweet states, but you SHOULD care whether you jeopardize other peopleâs health with your careless behavior. donât be fucking idiots and travel just because itâs cheap and because yolo. stop for a second and THINK
Medical professional here right on the front ass line of this shit, here to correct some inaccuracies on this fear mongering because yâall are doing my god damn head in.Â
COVID-19, specifically the new coronavirus responsible for this mass panic, is equally as contagious as influenza, in that itâs transmitted by droplet and fomites, meaning the SAME precautions are required for both [x]
The word youâre looking for is âfatalâ, not âmortalâ.Â
Influenza is contagious within the first few days of an individual becoming sick, however can be transmittable up to 7-10 days afterwards. This means Influenza can spread faster than COVID-19 [x]
The prevention for both diseases is the same: cough etiquette, good hand hygiene and containment if unwell. The treatment is the same: rest, symptomatic management, and supportive measures in the case of severe disease.Â
Death toll: the overall mortality rate for COVID-19 is 3.4% [x]. As of posting, itâs March 12, so that number is likely to change with each day that the situation evolves. Itâs likely we will see the number decrease as the virus spreads and the ratio of recovered people to people who have died evolves. This number is highly changeable and itâs impossible to provide an accurate reflection of it given the rapidly changing nature of the knowledge we have.
Of these deaths, 14% have been people over the age of 80 (reflecting comorbidities such as lung or heart disease), as opposed to 0.4 of 40-50â˛s and 0.2% in people aged 10-39. So no, not âa lot of young people have diedâ. [x] Only one known case of someone under the age of 19 has died in China [x].
By comparison, this flu season, 136 paediatric patients have died with influenza associated pneumonia in the USA alone [x]. Influenza is far less discriminatory in who it infects and who is susceptible to severe illness, with several. strains targeting young, healthy and otherwise fit individuals in particular.Â
Doctors never choose to save one life over another. If they do, they should not be a doctor, and you have a lawsuit on your hands. If a hospital is overwhelmed with equipment shortages, they will find a way to treat the patient anyway. My hospital for example has the capacity to look after up to five patients requiring intubation (a machine doing the breathing for you). In the case where we have had people needing ICUÂ and our ICU is full (which has happened the last few flu seasons), we have treated the patient anyway in the ER and then transferred the patient to a hospital capable of continuing their care. Iâm so gobsmacked that youâd even make a remark like this that Iâm honestly wondering whether or not i should be offended.Â
As of march 10, over 66 thousand people have recovered from the disease. That is more than half of those infected.Â
I understand being afraid and uncertain because this is a new virus and the response to it is unlike anything weâve ever seen before with other pandemics (Hello SARS, hello MERS, hello Swine Flu, hello HIV/AIDS! A few notable mentions since the 00â˛s). But for everyone using this website, the OP of the tweet posted is right: you probably wonât die from it. At most, youâll feel like youâve had the worst cold of your entire life and be stuck in bed for a few days.Â
Take precautions! Wash your hands! Isolate yourself for 14 days if youâve been in contact with someone who has the virus.Â
But please stop spreading misinformation about the virus because it is doing NO one any favours and it is only contributing to irrational fear that is putting MORE burden on health systems that are already struggling enough.
Sincerely, your local exhausted Emergency RN.Â
also, you young able bodied fucks who run around yoloing with cheap flights and junk will be FINE if you get the disease. You know who wont be? The elderly and disabled you infect during your melodramatic swan song tour of Europe. pandemics arent a personal issue. when you make the choice travel despite having the disease youâre making the choice for EVERYONE you visit to have that disease as well
Canât think of a single apocalypse or plague movie that anticipated the run on toilet paper.
Supernatural did
us government be like
God I thought getting dumped was hard
Now Iâm helping my crush plan a date with my best friend
Hairdresser: Weâre going to have to use a color remover to take out the blue pigment, then apply more pigment to allow for the proteins in the hair to adhere to it. Then possibly mix three different types of toners to reach the goal of your natural hair color.
Hairdresser: pretty simple
Me: this is chemistry
Hairdresser: yeah, but people donât like when we talk that way
Hairdresser: so youâre a mortician?
Me: apprentice
Hairdresser: do you know why formaldehyde is used in clothing?
Me: I didnât know that was a thing
Hairdresser: I think itâs due to the preserving qualities? But I donât think thatâs right.
Me: Itâs not just a preservative, itâs also a disinfectant âcause it destroys bacteria as well as their food supply. Itâs also a dehydrator.Â
Hairdresser: why not just use alcohol?
Me: good question. Formaldehyde is super cheap, so probably to cut costs
Hairdresser: is it really a carcinogen?Â
Me: yeah, Iâm going to have so much cancer
Hairdresser: so youâre going natural to work at a funeral home?
Me: yeah
Hairdresser: while still in school?
Me: well we work in the funeral homes so we have uuuuh ⌠experience with cases
Hairdresser: you can just say bodies itâs fineÂ
Me: oh thank god
Five Minutes Later
Me: yeah so we donât do autopsies itâs one of my pet peeves
Hairdresser: what if someone wakes up while youâre embalming them?
Me: thereâs a huge difference between a living body and a dead one
second hairdresser: I think we should add more toner, but yeah I think rigor mortis would make it pretty obvious
Me: that and being in a fridge for a few days you will be dead by the time you get to us
Hairdresser: I think pumping them full of a carcinogen would help with that
your hair is going to look incredible

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i hate when the teacherâs like âwrite about a bad time in your lifeâ like i ainât tryna get a social worker up my ass, thanks tho fam
This ainât no joke I had to write a essay about what your scared of so I did it (I was scared of growing up and where my life was going) it was great got a 100 but then I got sent to councilors office and was sent to therapy cause they thought I was suicidal and on the verge of breakingâŚApparently they ment like spiders or some shitâŚ
Also like, not everyone finds that at all useful or cathartic.
âWrite about some difficulty youâve experienced personally.â âAight fam let me just break down into tears and skip the rest of my classes.â
Yes! I had a psych professor ask us to discuss outloud the hardest thing that ever happened to us literally two days ago and I said âyou realize the position youâre putting us in? I feel obligated to lie to not only save my peers the awkwardness but also because I will find no relief in answering honestly but rather anxiety. The hardest thing in my life is having people repeatedly tell me I should find some sort of catharsis in reliving my trauma so someone else can feel pity for me!â
The whole class backed me up because they didnât want to either! Those kind of exercises are only helpful for people who donât have any real past/current issuesâ which is no one btw.
On par with this are those fucking self-assessments where they want to to be optimistic and positive about the future. Youâre sitting there drowning in college stress and anxiety so bad you canât look another human in the eye, fighting depression so that you can eventually achieve a piece of paper that might get you a better job if the economy doesnât tank itself (guess what, it did), and the most optimistic thing you can think of is that the class ends in 20 minutes.
#why do they do this though ~ @inqorporealâ
OH! I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS!
Thereâs a WIRED article that explains the history behind this practice.Â
Basically, this guy named Jeffrey Mitchell had a traumatic experience, then after months of PTSD, he told a confidant about the event that traumatized him. Retelling the event to a confidant was so cathartic for Mitchell that his PTSD went away after. He did a bunch of research to see if his personal experience of catharsis and relief could be replicated in other people suffering from PTSD. Years later he published a paper proposing a formalized psychiatric treatment revolving around this idea that expressing a traumatic experience helps relieve it. The paper was so influential that the whole psychiatric community adopted âcritical incident stress debriefingâ (CISD) as a standard treatment for PTSD.
Unfortunately ⌠itâs bullshit.
Not only does the CISD treatment program Mitchell came up with not help the majority of patients who try it, but it actually makes PTSD worse in the majority of patients who try it.
The WIRED article explains why:
CISD misapprehends how memory worksâŚ. Once a memory is formed, we assume that it will stay the same. This, in fact, is why we trust our recollections. They feel like indelible portraits of the past.
None of this is true. In the past decade, scientists have come to realize that our memories are not inert packets of data and they donât remain constant.Â
âŚthe very act of remembering changes the memory itself. New research is showing that every time we recall an event, the structure of that memory in the brain is altered in light of the present moment, warped by our current feelings and knowledge.Â
Basically, Mitchell waited until he had some emotional distance before trying to recall the memory, and he had full control of the situation. It was fully his decision. Nobody was pressuring him to talk about it. So he felt safe. Thinking about the memory from a place of safety allowed his brain to re-contextualize the memory as harmless.
Conversely, pressuring a patient to recall a traumatic memory, particularly when itâs still fresh in their minds, makes the patient feel very unsafe. Recalling a bad memory in this unsafe context only serves to re-traumatize the patient.Â
[link to the whole article]
basically, thereâs a big damn difference between choosing to confide in someone you trust and being pressured to make a public spectacle of your trauma
THIS JUST IN: Forced Public Recalling of Trauma Not As Helpful As Voluntarily Processing Trauma In A Safe Space