redzero

Thor: Loki, are you ready to come out yet and interact with people?

Loki: *DEMONIC SCREECHING*

Ron: We're all hanging out in the tree house down by the lake, come along!

Luna: Can't.

Harry: Why not?

Luna: Can't go in treehouses.

Ron: [repeating] Why not?

Luna: Because building a tree house is the biggest insult to a tree.

Harry: How so?

A list of disappointing dogs, bothersome birds, and other awful animal companions.

A crow who steals shiny things for you. Usually, it takes your own things, puts them somewhere else for a while, and eventually (maybe) brings them back.

A fox with extreme balance issues; it has to be carried everywhere, and cannot hunt.

A nearsighted hawk.

A carnivorous deer with bloodlust that tries to take a bite out of anything that moves.

A scarred, intimidating-looking dire wolf that is easily scared off by a smaller dog, a squirrel, a cat, or pretty much anything else.

An owl that you’re pretty sure can talk, but that only says “who” in a human voice.

An invisible dog. It barks at all hours and will only stop if you scratch it behind its ears (wherever those are).

A cat. Just a regular, asshole cat.

A parrot that swears like a sailor and curses like a witch; whenever it speaks you either have to have a counterspell ready or simply apologize to whoever it’s offended.

A clinically depressed horse.

draco: 

Virgil: What up with the disco?!

Deceit: I’m sorry, I hit the wrong thing!

my last braincell:

cherry - what is your sexuality?

lollipop - favorite makeup products?

daydreams - if you could be anything or anyone, who would you be?

october - what month were you born in?

caress - do you like to snuggle?

ivory - describe your pajamas?

golden - favorite stationary product?

freckles - most-worn article of clothing?

twilight - best friend?

silk - do you like k-pop?

poppy - favorite pastel color?

dimples - most attractive features of a person’s face?

sunkissed - autumn or spring?

buttery - favorite snack?

whisper - how much sleep do you get?

pencil - do you own a journal?

cupcake - are you a good cook?

honey - favorite term of endearment?

clouds - describe one of your favorite dreams?

velvet - who was your first crush?

paper - favorite children’s book?

peaches - do you have a skincare routine?

mochi - favorite studio ghibli film?

backyard - did you ever have an imaginary friend?

strawberry - favorite fruit?

kiss - have you ever kissed a friend?,

nightlight - do you read before bed?

shampoo - favorite scent?

skin - what distant relative are you closest to?

aphrodite - favorite actress/actor?

cuddles - do you have any pets?

lace - if you own any dresses, which is your favorite?

sheets - sanrio or san-x characters?

cream - frozen yogurt flavor?

watermelon - do films ever make you cry?

sapphos - favorite poet?

plush - how many stuffed animals do you still own?

roses - what flower do you find most beautiful?

sweetheart - favorite mug/cup?