Rants and Reblogs

"if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me" is the tip of the iceburg, but imagine how much deeper that goes beneath the surface that marvel showed us.

bucky getting angry at steve for leaving and then being angry at himself for being angry at steve. going back and forth between blaming steve for lying to his face about sticking with him till the end of the line and then blaming himself for thinking it was possible.

i like to think that one of bucky's shame rooms in the void was steve going back in time and showing up on that bench with a wedding ring and no apparent regrets. steve was perfectly happy living a life without him-- so why would bucky, even for a second, consider otherwise? were then finish your mission because i'm with you till the end of the line, what you did all those years wasn't you merely misunderstood and meaningless sweet nothings?

steve saved him so easily but he left him so easily too. maybe it was just damage control, an attempt to keep an old friend from going rogue and snapping back into a globally-feared murderer. it didn't really mean anything. steve didn't want bucky, he just wanted to fix him.

the guilt, bucky calls it self-pity, spirals deeper. how on earth could bucky think that he was worth more to steve than a comfortable, normal life with the lovely peggy carter, where he could raise a family instead of dealing with the mess that's years of scrambled memories and trauma from being a bloodthirsty emotionless and therefore regretless killer who murdered, along with so many others, the innocent parents of steve's friend? who in their right mind would want that?

of course steve would pick kids and a wife over waking up to bucky sobbing because of some nightmare he's already had hundreds of times but can't get over. the bad days outnumber the good days and they always will. bucky doesn't blame steve, because he deserves to be happy and to have some sense of normal if that's what he wants. bucky doesn't blame steve because maybe he was a losing dog from the beginning, so of course steve didn't want to put money on him. bucky doesn't blame steve because gosh, he wouldn't pick himself either. so why is he in bitter shock? why does it still hurt? he'll probably never know, no matter how many times he picks the memory apart in his head until it hurts worse than any physical scar ever did.

the spiral goes deeper and deeper and deeper and bucky knows the only person who can fix this is himself, but he won't, can't, doesn't know how, who really cares anyway? it doesn't even seem worth a shot at this point, the pit he's dug himself into is too deep and the light at the end of the tunnel gets dimmer every day. if the most stubborn person bucky knew, the one determined to right every wrong, had no faith in bucky being better, then nobody should. not even himself. the law might have let him off the hook, but the suffering of his own mind is his well-deserved punishment.

~

oh and here's some lyrics from the great divide by noah kahan because his new album is so endgame stucky coded and i want everyone to suffer it/appreciate it with me!! sharing is caring :)

and there's so many more songs from said album that fit them, but i'mma put them all in a different post for the sake of not making this too long.

How utterly dissonant it is from the reality of how Matthias Jesper and Wylan felt while she was away. Inej is so loved and admired by ALL the Crows is borderline insane; Kaz (for the readers) and Nina are obvious cases, but like-

As soon as Inej is kidnapped and Kaz mentions getting back at Van Eck without even saying her name, Wylan Jesper and Matthias immediately make it about her because that's the important thing, and that carries on for the entire following week- literally everyone is pissed Kaz refuses to openly make it about Inej when that's what they're all thinking about first and foremost including Kaz but that's not the point.

She assumes Matthias might come to save her to back up Nina, but he personally holds Inej in such high regard for her bravery and skills, he's among those who felt like she deserves better than Kaz and he was shocked when he found out she was beaten in combat despite days of starving herself and poor rest- and the guy has been a trained soldier for a good chunk of his life.

She doubts Jesper would prioritize her over the money he needs, but the guy sacrificed his guns, his most beloved item and one that brings him comfort other than his weapon of choice, so that he could successfully do his part in Kaz's plan to take Alys and do the trade.

She doesn't even register Wylan as an option, but he felt responsible for her situation simply because Jan is his father, he's the one who tries to respect Inej's moral code when they're holding Alys hostage and he's so confused by Kaz's insanely violent reaction because "Isn't this all about Inej?".

And yeah, of course everything going on with Kaz, and Nina thinking of Inej to push through addiction withdrawal, just...

The other rebels are like you need to subtly let her know you're on her side, so you go bet and turn your charm up to 11. Which would have maybe worked on anyone else but this is Katniss Everdeen we're talking about.

So now you're stuck doing increasingly ridiculous social gymnastics every time she's around and still by the time the night before the Games arrives the only thing she's convinced of about you is that you are going to try to fucking murder her

So you freak out, seek out Haymitch and basically go "hey what the fuck is wrong with your kid". And Haymitch just stares ahead for a second, nods, takes off his bracelet, says "wear this" and leaves. You fucking hate district 12

So you go okay. Breathing exercises. This is fine. Guess I'll have to save her life during the Games or sth maybe that'll do the trick. And when you see the Arena you cheer up for a sec bc you definitely have the advantage here she'll have to trust you right?

Wrong. She can fucking swim. SHE CAN FUCKING SWIM.

So now you're in the Cornucopia with no cards up your sleeve, no time left, and arguably the other deadliest tribute in that Arena pointing at you with a bow, and so you go "you know what, fuck it, I'm going to die anyways" and you show her the bracelet

AND IT FUCKING WORKS

Bear in mind Finnick had no first-hand experience on Katniss and Haymitch's bitch-to-bitch telepathy this was his first contact with it

I hate it because Steve Rogers has more chemistry with his ratty leather jacket and his belt buckles then he does with the supposed love of his life.

I hate that Steve Rogers, a historically selfless character, makes the incredibly selfish choice to go back in time to be with her.

I hate that this change would ruin Peggy Carter's future, a woman that had to fight tooth and nail to get any credit at all.

I hate that Peggy Carter is a miles more interesting character when Steve isn't apart of her life, so naturally, Marvel bumps him into it.

Are you retarded??? Steve wasn't fucking "sexually assaulted" and stop using this disgusting slander against women, he just kissed a woman, showing Peggy complete disrespect and if I were her I'd shoot him in his useless balls for having the nerve to do that in the office!

But obviously Stucky shippers treat Peggy like that and villainize her to the point of mischaracterizing her!

Yeah… Let's take a look at this on Wiki:

And yes, it's a fact that Steve was an SA in the MCU, even if the MCU itself doesn't take it seriously - just like people like you do - because Steve is a big man and can't be an SA, right?

Now let's look at this scene:

Steve, as soon as Lorraine realizes who he is, is cornered and then dragged to where she kissed him, forcibly holding him by his jacket. Steve is visibly tense and definitely uncomfortable. The first thing he does is wipe his mouth.

And we have Peggy, who immediately acts brusquely toward him, then reacts with aggression.

Remember: Peggy is a single woman. Steve is a single man. They weren't dating, they weren't in a relationship, they weren't engaged and Steve had no obligations to her.

Even if he hadn't been kissed against his will, which by definition is SA, Peggy had neither the right nor any rational reason to react with physical aggression.

Because yes, the fact that Peggy reached for a firearm in a room with five other people is physical aggression.

Let me repeat: Peggy drew a firearm in a room with fucking five other people (besides herself and Steve) while Steve was holding a prototype shield, where there was a risk of a damn ricochet, because she caught a single man being kissed by another single woman…

I don't need to villainize Peggy, because the MCU does it itself. She's a terrible hothead with a tendency to resort to violence when things don't go her way. That's a huge red flag.

And yes, Peggy employed nazis at the agency where she was director. That's another fact. She willingly collaborated with the nazis, because absolutely no one in Operation Paperclip forced any of the organizations to hire them. (She, Howard and probably Phillips.)

pairing: boyfriend!bucky x girlfriend!reader

summary: On vacation, you don‘t feel as comfortable in your body as you expected, but your boyfriend reminds you that there is nothing you need to worry about.

word count: 1.4k

warnings/tags: body image insecurities, some angst, mostly fluff, bucky is an amazing boyfriend

author‘s note: I wrote this about two weeks ago when I bought myself a new bikini for the summer, decided to post it now because me and my best friend went to the lake today and when I put my bikini on at home I didn‘t actually want to go anymore. I still had so much fun with her today, so maybe let this be your reminder that the way your body looks in a bathing suit doesn‘t determine wether or not you‘re gonna have a good time.

I figured that I‘m probably not the only one struggling with this kind of stuff now that it‘s getting warmer again and hope that if you can relate, this will help you feel a little more comfortable in your own skin again- just like it‘s supposed to be.

dividers by @chateaubarnes

FRAGMENTS OF A LONELY TIDE [masterlist] dockworker!bucky barnes x mermaid!reader

— ⟢ SUMMARY: a grumpy dockworker reluctantly rescues you—a stranded, wounded mermaid—with every intention of sending you back to the sea once you’ve healed. until the idea of losing you becomes something he can no longer bear. — ⟢ GENERAL WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI; bucky’s in his 40s; grumpy!bucky (starts off rude and cold); protective!bucky; sunshine!reader; injuries & blood; angst; loneliness; temporary feelings denial; mutual pining; heavy yearning; domestic fluff; smut. each part has its own specific warnings.