ca·lam·i·tous

every day you send me a silent message, saying that you’re not coming back, and i’m happy for you, because i am not, too. and although it’s a little bit sad how we used to tell each other not to leave and now we’re just fine with each other not ever coming back, i know in my heart that there are things that i couldn’t risk losing again, so, this is it– goodbye.

I hope you are doing okay with the fact that someone you loved so hard it made your heart break left you now, and there is no way they are coming back. I hope you are okay with the fact that they took a piece of you away and nothing is ever going to bring it back. I hope you are okay with the fact that you still love him but then again, he isn’t yours and he won’t ever be.

I don’t know how to love without using my whole heart. I don’t know what its like to love someone ‘half way’. I practice giving love in the same way I’d like to receive it.

As the November days roll by, I’m reminded of you. I think about how much time there is between us now. Another November gone by, but this time, I no longer hold bitterness.