(๑' ◡ ')♡

my family was rich running our aura farm before castro and the other communists nationalized swag

if tumblr was an online game i’d run my character up to your character and spam the jump button and do backflips and frontflips over your character’s head to show you i’m excited to see you on the dash

(flirting) what's every single thing you've ever thought

um. cut him in half

hot dog or hamburger style, boss

"okay ❤️ yay ❤️" remains an unmatched response

either the activity should be called brooming or the object should be called a sweep. you can't have a unique word for each. utterly reckless waste in a language with limited phonemes

Maybe if I just work harder, this empty cup will pour again

Maybe the cup needs a bit of time to rest and refill?

Maybe the cup needs to lock the fuck in???

there's this sort of default assumption online that you're meant to have watched the latest defunctland, hbomberguy or dan olson video in a manner i'd compare to "catch the game last night?"