OMG LOOK THE NIGHT LIGHT THAT I RECEIVED TODAY!!! THE PERFECT ADDITION TO MY SPOOKY COLLECTION :)

You know, just your average, everyday neighborhood institution. You got your fruit stand dude, your ice cream truck driver, your elote guy, your meat van man…This guy’s van was sketchy as all get-out too, just a solid white windowless van with the name painted haphazardly on the side. 

Dude came to my place more than once and was visibly… unwell? Each time. Looked very haggard and would park his van, get out and walk up and down the street VERY loudly singing a made up jingle advertising his wares and carrying armfuls of drippy trays of wet, gray looking meat

He’s notorious for getting shitty with you when you politely tell him to leave, and would get so offended he’d storm back to the van and peel out— sometimes he’d have his coffee or oozing meat trays on the hood he’d forget about that’d fly off when he drove and splatter on the ground. 

Alarmingly when you Google the business address it not only says the business is permanently closed (despite this guy routinely still making his rounds selling stuff door to door), but it’s a RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS. Even worse, Google has shown multiple different addresses for this business in the past few years. All of them have been residential addresses. It’s just some regular ol’ house— But when you open up Google Earth on the address it just cuts to a closeup of a manhole cover!? I damn near believe the meat man’s running this shit out of the sewers

Assuming he isn’t peddling human meat (/j. I think.) my only logical guess as to where this guy obtains his product is I think he resells stuff local businesses (hotels, casinos mainly) reject and don’t want to use for their own restaurants due to quality control issues. There must be something genuinely wrong with the product because many reviews mention people falling ill from it and the meat itself not resembling any previous chicken, steak, fish etc. they’ve ever eaten in the past. A lot specifically mention a slimy, rubbery texture and concerning gray color to the meat.

1. This particular company is banned from selling product in at least one state / had their license revoked there

2. As it turns out, this isn’t just a problem in my area— there are multiple companies that sell meat door-to-door like this. Meat vans are somehow a known phenomenon. My horror upon learning this cannot be overstated.