just a single, broken-hearted gal

When I see you, I want to scream. I want to yell at you for making me feel so shitty. For making me feel forgotten and unloved. For lying to me all that time. Everything you did and everything you said to me was a lie. You say it wasn't but by this time, I know better. You aren't different, you are exactly like all of them. You said you wouldn't hurt me. You said you were mine and I was yours. Then you left. Walked out and gave up on me as if I didn't matter. As if you didn't care...about anything. About me. About us. What is your problem. I can't get past this anger that I feel. A week ago, I was sad. This week, I want to rip your head off. I want to text you...I almost have a couple of times. But what do I say? That I miss you? That you're an idiot? That you are fucking stupid? None of that will bring you back. None of that is going to un do all of the years and the hate that has been pulsing through my body for the last two weeks. I just wish this was a dream. Maybe it is. I keep pinching myself hoping that it possibly is. Fuck me why do you have this hold on me.

Because we never really move on. You can't erase memories. You can't delete all the good times that were had together. It isn't possible. For those of you who have accomplished such a thing, send me the handbook. Tell me how you did it, because it would be great to do just that. Delete everything. Him, us, everything.