swiggity swoogity, i am deeply broken inside

That moment in your elementary school library when you find Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark and you pick it up with hesitant hands and you open it slowly and scan the first page and realize this is a SCARY book and it feels a little forbidden and you turn the page and you're unsettled but you keep going and you read about the girl whose mother disappears and what she didn't know and you're not sure you want to know but you can't quite help yourself so you keep turning those pages and shivering at those creepy drawings and it's creepy but you kinda like it and it wakes something up in you that's always been there and you feel like the author knows something about you nobody else knows and you don't know it yet but you'll never be the same.

one of my girlfriends only tells the truth. my other girlfriend only tells lies.

and yes, they both smoke weed

and which one told you that?

NO! Thinking their negative thoughts privately will kill the patient. She needs bitching and whining to live

guys what's undertale