Grass Growing Speedrunner

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

You can't just nerf him without admitting that he was too powerful in his original form

those is mcdonalds jeans?

Fun fact: those McDonald’s jeans are part of the standard uniform here in Colombia. I’ve tried at least 16x to ask where they source them, if I can buy them from the manager, even going McDonald’s not to order food but just to ask for the jeans. I asked someone high up in their marketing dept here to see if maybe they know which company sourced them, and still couldn’t get my hands on a pair. Apparently employees only get one pair per year. They’re slightly high-waisted, they taper very slightly, they’re always kind of high water at the bottom, and they’re the perfect light jean color. They’re not stiff, they’re not that stretchy, they’re the perfect denim material. They come with a cloth belt that’s either yellow or turquoise, and the stitching on the M is almost sensual. I will not give up

theres a hourse in the dirve through

could you please stay on topic

fucking obsessed with this

today at work a coworker warned me that my patient’s owner let us know her cat is homophobic, meaning he tends to attack gay people violently on sight, which I thought was a joke. but that cat saw me and may have been the angriest cat I’ve ever worked with and DID in fact bite me through Kevlar gloves because he hated me so much

I want to emphasize that the cat was wearing a pride flag collar, which the owner gave him as exposure therapy

If you mess up a social interaction you can say "Failed Experiment" and move on

Cannot stress enough that you say this in your head

fuck billionaires but also fuck me in a different and slippery way

pour one out for the guy who just spilled his drink

situation worse