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@cpnbones

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vandals in my town lowkey kinda funky doe
Free him!
https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/penis-man-arrested-by-tempe-police-over-graffiti-taggings-11431581
"They raided my condo and vehicle ... in west Phoenix with 25 heavily armed SWAT officers, and pointed a silenced assault rifle in my face."
"I just spent the last 24 hours in Tempe and Phoenix police custody for spraying 'Penis Man,'" Shomer wrote. "They raided my condo and vehicle and swarmed my entire complex in west Phoenix with 25 heavily armed SWAT officers, and pointed a silenced assault rifle in my face.
"Anyone with any doubt who the bad guys are here ... be certain it is the City of Tempe, City of Phoenix, and police forces valleywide. There is no excuse for pointing an AR-15 in the face of a non-violent offender."
Shomer added in further posts that he spent a night at Maricopa County's Fourth Avenue Jail following more than five hours in Tempe police custody, during which time he was giving "nothing to eat."
He wrote that he was "told I wouldn't receive medical attention after requesting it, even though it was posted on the wall to ask if desired. I was having a panic attack, cause they put a fucking assault rifle in my face (that's illegal, both denying medical attn, and excessive force)."
Shomer also wrote in his post-arrest screed, "For the record, I hate the institution of the police. But, I do not think every single cop is a bastard. To say they all are, is imo, stooping to their level of profiling. Some of the detectives I met seemed to be genuine penis man fans."
"Penis Man is neither man nor woman, you nor me," Shomer wrote in one post. "We are ALL Penis Man."
Hmmmmm
Seinfeld S09E22 ‘The Finale’ (Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld, 1998)

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incorrect quotes
spongebob gets it
stephen hillenburg is personally responsible for radicalizing me and I thank him
this is honestly how some of y’all sound
officer, that’s my emotional support two-liter of vodka lemonade
i always find joy in reminding people that this is the only workshop-submitted cosmetic item that 1) is technically compatible with the game and 2) isn’t a copyright issue that Valve MANUALLY marked as incompatible
I have a very strange relationship with cereal. I'll forget it exists for months at a time, then I remember that not only does it exist, it is one of humanity's perfect foods. Then I'll eat like 4 boxes in one day before some eldritch god takes the knowledge from me again. (Probably for my own good.)

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lil nas x is the only valid celebrity because he got rich and IMMEDIATELY started dressing like a fucking jojo villain
Least favorite lab equipment?
idk it really depends on the day
but my favorite lab equipment will always be our hand crank centrifuge
im sorry the what
this bad boy, for when you’re too lazy to walk up two flights of stairs to the shared lab space with the preparatory centrifuge but not too lazy to put some elbow grease into spinning your shit down
Method: Samples were centrifuged at whatever rotations per minute (RPM) Joey “the beast” McRipped could achieve on his saucy days. We’re not sure how fast, but it was impressive. Supernatant decanted off and….
it was also supposed to be temporary
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez suggests correcting mercenary post 9/11 power grab
It's a shame that J.K. Rowling got run over by that bus on this very day all those years ago. Damned shame.
Oh I think we all know what bus it was
Mongolians are cool because they’ve merged their traditional and modern ways of life so rather than having poverty due to losing all their important skills they just live in their yurts with their cows and 827474874mbs internet
sure their GDP in dollars is low but when you can survive like your anscestors did it doesn’t mean anything, nothing wrong with adding a motorcycle and wifi into the mix
Everyone should live like their ancestors did 1000 years ago but with the addition of wifi tbh
Adapt. Survive.
this is the single most inspiring piece of information I have yet to come across in all my moments in this world
where is that picture
ah here we go:

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please read i just had a spiritual experience
so i just got an mri for the first time and they asked if i wanted music to play in the headphones they gave me and if so what artist. i said lemon demon, not thinking anything of it.
they slide me into the mri and im expecting spirit phone or something like that. first thing i hear.
"TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX"
and i just about lost it i was straining so hard. it felt like a fever dream. i had to lay there in the loud magnet pod completely still while listening to two trucks. they did that to jesus to torture him