remembering you have organs inside of you is so sickening like man i do NOT need to be fully aware of the fact that like. my appendix is just IN there. doing fuck all

jinxed myself with this one bc my appendix decided Brother, I’m Going To Start Doing Something (Today) and now it’s gotta come out

thanks to everyone who’s said any variation of “happy pride month to your appendix” in the tags. really appreciate that.

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[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.

I really can and will blame the 9-5 for everything. "We're in a loneliness epidemic" well, we have to spend a third of our day interacting with people in a professional way that makes forming real friendships difficult and then we're peopled out by the time we're done. "People are eating more and more unhealthily" people have to spend more than a third of their day doing work related tasks and they don't want to spend their tiny amount of free time making food. "People aren't involved in their local communities" after spending more than a third of their day doing work related things people are tired and also all those community events take place during normal working hours. "People need to get more hobbies" after spending more than a third of their day working, people are TIRED and don't want to do anything that takes yet more energy. "Literacy is dying" to maintain your critical thinking skills you need to read/watch things that make you think and after spending more than a third of your day doing work related stuff you are TIRED and don't want to expend even more brainnpower. "People need to get outside more" People. Are. TIRED. Because they have to spend all of their time working or preparing for work or recovering from work or doing all the chores they couldn't stay on top of because of work. I can blame fucking anything on having to work, it is truly the root of all fucking evil.

Bananas, tomatoes, watermelons, coffee, cocoa, pomegranates and pumpkins are also berries.

W-what????????’

WHAT DO YOU MEAN POMEGRANATES ARE BERRIES????

You know what isn’t a berry? Strawberries. Fuck fruit scientists.

hey is everyone ignoring the part of the dream where bees and beekeepers fucked

Reblog if you too are an aggregate accessory fruit

Yeah, pineapples.