Connor Kat

im finally playing the game

she/her -> she/they -> they/them -> they/he -> he/they -> he/him

“-so close with their male bff that they just. end up fruity.”

After my dad went missing of mysterious circumstances, my mom took up cooking as a hobby. One of my ex-moms thought all fast food and restaurant food had demon agents imbedded in them, so we weren’t allowed to have any of that until she left the polycule when I was 8. My mom was the worst cook in the entire goddamn world. For my 7th birthday, I vividly remember that she put a bunch of miniature chocolate bars, goldfish, pretzels, and some soda into a pan and put it in the oven as my “birthday cake”. It was actually one of the better things she made, which says a damn lot because that fucking cake made me cry because of how bad it was. 

But for some reason, she was a GOD at making tater tot casserole. She had a secret ingredient that I was only told of recently; my uncle’s blood! Her brother Jeremiah had blood with magical anomalous properties, and he’d give a vial of it to my mom once per month until he went to Japan for a business trip and got killed by the Yakuza for provoking them since he didn’t fear death. I was 17 by then. No food has hit the same since he died, but I still love tater tot casserole in all forms. 

When you ate the tater tot casserole, you’d get a wave of euphoria and have incredibly vivid and throught provoking dreams. You’d see deceased relatives in your dreams, even if you never met them or knew they existed. I actually reality shifted for the first time after eating it, even if it was unintentional. I went to EarthBound, it was pretty funky until a hippie clobbered me to death. When I was back in this reality, I was on the kitchen floor at 3:25 AM.