Moon Child

poorly painted short black nails are something that can be so gender

on the one hand i agree with this but on the other hand one of my coworkers rented an alpaca from a petting zoo and brought it to work because my boss said she wanted an alpaca sweater but the guy didn’t hear her say sweater and didn’t want to upset her by asking why the fuck she’d want an alpaca

I think that highlights a good genre difference: miscommunication in drama is frustrating, overused, and just kinda shit. Miscommunication in comedy is fucking hilarious.

This has to be the most accurate depiction of living with intrusive thoughts

in sixth grade you were either a cucumber melon bitch or a warm vanilla sugar bitch

the fuck does this mean

this is japanese cherry blossom erasure

Hey y'all I still don’t know wtf this means

Okay, but this is more historically accurate than 300.

must have been easier to be alive before news traveled so fast and you were only ever aware of a handful of tragedies instead of thousands and thousands of them being delivered to you on a daily basis. why is there even a question of why our generation is so depressed and anxious like I’ll tell you why?? everything i read breaks my heart and my capacity to empathize and be outraged is absolutely maxed out. yeah i’m sad bitch! we’re all sad! there’s no relief!

in general i think new york is very good for my social anxiety because no matter how much of a freak i’m being i know it’s probably not the weirdest thing people have seen today

case in point: i felt bad about bringing my unwieldy luggage onto a crowded train, until the man sitting next to me pulled a live fish out of his backpack

The year is 2022. You and your gang shoot down Amazon delivery drones and sell their contents for a living.

Is this a prompt or a prophesy

Its an instruction

If you’re trying to catch a housecat that’s gotten outside, don’t forget: they’re an ambush predator and you’re a persistence predator. You have several times more endurance than they do - use that to your advantage! Don’t run after them; that’s playing to the cat’s strengths, and vigorous pursuit may cause them to hide. Instead, follow them at a brisk walking pace until they get tired and need to have a lie-down, at which point you can simply pick them up and take them home.

Ok but no shit this tactic is what allowed humans to survive pre-civilisation

It’s already October 1st in my timezone, so here we go!

my cat is transfixed by these lil guys

I just heard my mom tell my brother, “when you die, you will go outside and garden until your father says you’re done” and it took me a second to realize that my brother was playing a videogame and this was not a theological discussion.

My mom is very proud that her misinterpreted words have been witnessed by the internet. My brother is disappointed that I didn’t post a picture with it so he could become a meme.