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EXPECTATIONS
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@corrintothedarkness-blog
Money is such a great way to ruin my day.
It’s nothing bad, honestly. I still have money.
I was trying to save some extra cash for something... but I keep using the money for things.
I really need to stop trust other people when they say we have the money. Like, that’s great, encourage the ruining of my savings then. See if I fucking care.
...
Okay I care a lot.
Fuck.
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A Brain Misunderstanding
Me: Okay - I have tomorrow off. I can sleep in a little. This is amazing! I'm so excited!
Brain: Soooooooo.
Me: Yeah?
Brain: WANNA DO ALL THE THINGS?
Me: What? No. We can do that tomorrow morning.
Brain: DO ALL THE THINGS.
Me: No! Brain-- stop-- what are you--
Brain: AWAAAAAAAAAAAAKE.
Me: 'SLEEP IN A LITTLE' WASN'T CODE FOR 'STAY UP ALL NIGHT'
How fucked up is society when someone forces themselves to seem fine even when they feel like the world is spinning around them?
And why do I still do it?
I think... I think I still do it... because I don’t like feeling weak. I like feeling strong, even when I’m bending so far that I’m breaking.
I’m not saying it’s healthy. But after some time to think about it... I honestly think I act like I’m fine because I want to appear strong... because physically I’m weak right now. Out of shape for a couple reasons I couldn’t control. With difficulty starting up habits (working on it). So emotional and mental fortitude is all I’ve got right now... and feeling weak and vulnerable? I don’t like it... I don’t like it except with certain people...
Chats with Anxiety, ep 1
Anxiety: You have SO much going on right now...
Me: I'm aware.
Brain: I can't possibly remember it all.
Anxiety: PANIC. OH GOD. PANIC.
Me: ANXIETY. RELAX. I'LL PUT IT IN A CALENDAR.
Anxiety: LOL oh okay.
Me: *Finishes calendar* There. Tasks. Reminders. Everything. One easy place!
Anxiety: ...
Me: Don't. You. Dare.
Anxiety: ...
Me: ...
Anxiety: OH GOD THAT IS SO MUCH STUFF HOW CAN WE POSSIBLY DO IT LOOK HOW MANY THINGS ARE ON THAT THURSDAY. OH GOD. OH GOD WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO. PLEASE GOD SOMEONE HELP US.
Me: ...why are you like this...
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Current. Fucking. Mood.
I hope I can duck out after like... 1.5 hours.
I love my Christmas sweater... but I’m totally fine wearing it at home.
Comfortable.
Watching TV.
10 years from now?
Thinking about where I’m going to be in 10 years...
or more specifically...
where I’d like to be in 10 years...
It’s almost depressing to do this... because I doubt I’ll be any close to these goals... but people don’t seem to understand that this type of shit doesn’t work for people like me but okay...
When you try to keep up with the fast pace of life...
and your body finally says NO very firmly and knocks you out for a day.
Or two.
Tonight is going to be an early night for sleep, perhaps.
“Given the choice between one lifetime spent with you or a thousand without, I will always choose you.”
— Danielle L. Jensen, Warrior Witch
I hope I can get a full lifetime... because right now it doesnt feel like it...
I am so tired.
It's hard watching them fight.
A fight that almost feels endless.
And there isnt a damn thing I can really do to help.
They suffer while I watch
And that in itself is an inescapable torture
I hope they will come out of this ok
So far the fight is still in their eyes
But I can feel the fight leaving mine
I just want to sleep
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Another Anxiety PSA
FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK
DON’T TELL US A WORST CASE SCENARIO
UNLESS YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN IT’S A POSSIBILITY
OTHERWISE
WE’RE GOING TO SEND OURSELVES INTO A SPIRAL
My 2019 Resolution...
Is sleeping for a week straight in January.
When you, the extrovert, give your SO, the introvert, an out for an event...
and it turns out they actually want to go.
WHY
IS
DECEMBER
ALWAYS
SO
CRAZY?
Feeling better and better. Mourning the fact coffee may no longer be something I am allowed except on weekends, maybe.
At least it’s a good season for hot chocolate?
Still sad about the coffee though.
Oh well.
I could try the coffee again... maybe it was the alcohol the night prior...
Hmmmmm....
WHY ARE BODIES AND MINDS SO COMPLICATED?!?
FFS
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
If someone has anxiety...
Just be straight forward.
It saves us a lot of stress, and makes it so you probably have a better chance of talking to us while our minds are still calm. The moment we spiral? It becomes difficult for both of us.
Sorry.
I’m sorry to the people I’m not talking to right now.
I know I’ve told you it’s because I just have a lot to deal with.
I feel like I say that all the time though.
But it’s not my fault life is trying to kick me in the teeth.
You all are very understanding, yet I still feel guilty.
I also fear the day you stop understanding, and get annoyed instead.
