"visual learner" this "auditory learner" that well I'm an oral learner. put it in my mouth
Uh, I hope you're not studying the blade
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Not today Justin

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$LAYYYTER
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@coronacat
"visual learner" this "auditory learner" that well I'm an oral learner. put it in my mouth
Uh, I hope you're not studying the blade

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friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her
-threw out the floor mats entirely bc theres magic the gathering cards molded into them
-found an axe formely belonging to a friend who is now in jail
-four trash bags worth of clothes and an untold amount of fast food trash
guys theres a pile of chicken bones down there from wingstop im so scared
AND i hear "hey dude can i use ur washing machine real quick" and she pulls out a pair of pants from, i shit you not, 1940 and theyre moldified into a SOLID. those pants survived a war and couldnt last a year in her fucking shitbox istfg
shes cleaning out the Broken Glass Area of the backseat (normal thing to have. been there FOUR FUCKING YEARS)
fuckin blindly sticks her hand under the seat and pulls out a fully intact URANIUM GLASS PLATE. "for you :D" ... GIRL
"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both
i swear to god im not exaggerating here. anyway heres an incomplete list of everything we found inside:
-axe (stolen)
-earrings made out of dentures
-flavored condoms
-a quilt
-hello kitty sweater (stolen from a DIFFERENT ex-friend with a felony charge)
-deer spine
-baseball sized wad of human hair
-""sex apron""
-uranium glass plate
-pile of non-uranium non-car glass
-rollerblades
-complete phantom of the opera cd set
-magic the gathering cards mold-ified into a brick
-lego millennium falcon
-a CUTLASS??? (for "self defense")
-the back bumper of the car
-an entire fucking ant colony
and finally, perhaps the most disturbing,
-a pack of vanilla wax melts, inexplicably unmelted and intact despite sitting inside this terrarium-with-a-prius-wrapped-around-it in 100 degree heat for god knows how long
i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.
guys i cant take it anymore
bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup
“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
Good Job.
#this post gets me every time
It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been
do you think no one else has time travel
Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.
#surprise reblog!!
STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!
YOU CAN STOP.
wow if only you had a time machine
Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.
I’m killing your parents before you’re born
Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian
Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.
Isn’t that the plot of Terminator
Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?
This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even
Imagine how I feel
POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!
It doesn’t have to
Yes it does.
or at least until 2041!
why is it on my dash again in 2026
well, y'know what they say
<nodding> awabawababa
that's right
uploads this cutely

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in Finland, it is illegal to kill a bear when it’s hibernating. If you ask a hunter why that is, a number of them will tell you it’s wrong simply because it is the law, and they don’t make a distinction between what is right, and what is legal. Most people like that are perfectly normal, decent and respectable people, just like the rest of us.
But if you ask people who think about things, the answer is vague. Killing a hibernating bear would just feel… impolite? You can’t fucking shoot a man when he’s sleeping, that’s just fucking rude. It’s just not the right thing to do.
Long before hunting laws were established in Finland, you couldn’t kill a sleeping bear, and what commands you is something older than law: tradition. Even at a time when hunting was a matter of life and death, and a bear fighting for its life is mainly a matter of death, you just didn’t kill a hibernating bear, you have to wake it up first. Hunters risked their lives, the lives of their brothers and everyone in the hunting party, who were friends, family and men that they loved, to give the bear a fighting chance.
In the modern time, the hunting season of bears is in the summer, for the warmest summer months. There are many reasons for why they are allowed to tread safely in autumn and to sleep in peace through the cold months, almost all of which are rational and scientific, and do not touch the old traditions.
Old faith says a living thing has many souls - henki, luonto, itse. Plants only have one - the one that wills them to grow. Animals have two, both the spark of life and nature that enables them to act. A human being also has the third, one that makes them a person, personality, itse, literally “self”. But the soul that travels in your dreams is not the soul that defines a human - animals have that one as well. When your dog runs in her sleep, her soul is elsewhere, where a dog is needed.
One’s waking soul is elsewhere when they sleep and dream. A bear’s soul is somewhere else when they are hibernating - there are two words for “hibernation” in finnish, one of which is talviuni, “winter sleep”, and that is the one that bears have - and if you kill a sleeping bear, their soul is not in the body, it is still out there, and it can find you, and as a revenge for killing its body, Ghost Bear will kill your entire fucking family.
ghost bear is coming for your fucking family
hey
hey friend
dont kill yourself tonight ok
you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again
youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep
I would like a moment to thank the people who reblog post like this so that it eventually shows on my dash.
It is keeping me alive
every time I'm too scared to pull the trigger on a bluesky post, I know I can post it here. you all get me.
i need to show you hot dog water

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2026
FUCK HARD
FUCK FAST
FUCK BADLY
NEVER USE GENERATIVE AI
CREATE JOY
MUSIC ALWAYS
PSPSPSPS AT KITTIES ON THE STREET
YUMMY SOUP
go see the doctor about that thing
BE TRANSGENDER
KISS YOUR FRIENDS
EAT CHEESE
NEVER KILL YOURSELF
THRIVE
but i live in there ):
why is it sooo hard to conclude essays. I said all that because fuck you thats why
sometimes I remember how on the last day of my high school latin class our teacher had us gather around his laptop to show us latin memes on tumblr and my best friend and I just gaped at each other in abject horror. we couldn’t figure out if our teacher was just showing us memes on a Fun Website He Had Found or if he was a tumblr user for real. but he knew how to navigate it. years have passed but it haunts me. he could still be out here
Reblog to help find a lost connection.
do NOT do this
[ID in alt text]

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theres no fucking snow outside
???? in WHAT