LADEN BOY 《 semi-hiatus 》

requested by anon. Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

small

“Get down here!”

“Wow…I’d want to climb that tree, if you know what I mean.” / “Do birds ever sit on you and get confused?” / “Hey, Groot.”

“I’m not short. I’m fun-size.”

“Good, adorable, wonderful things come in small packages.”

“I don’t appreciate your height.”

“I CAN REACH FOR IT MYSELF.”

“I’m not short, you just have the height of a Transformer.”

“I KNOW you can see me.”

“Fear me!!!”

“Uh…you’re blocking me.”

“Can you lift me for a second?”

“Slow down! I have short legs.”

“I have a super power. It’s called, my head never hits the ceiling.”

“Have you seen him/her/them? He’s/she’s/they’re like a mountain.”

“I always win at hide and seek.”

“I’ve always looked up to you…literally. Actually, can you sit down?”

“Heels make me feel powerful.”

“Do tall people have…big..hands..?”

“I might be short, but my ego is huge.” / “I might be short, but I will drag you down to my level.”

“I can’t reach your face, but I can kick your junk.”

“You don’t know the struggle when all shirts/dresses/pants are too long on you.”

tall

“I’m afraid of you because short people are closer to hell.”

“”How is it ironic that I’m afraid of heights?”

“Does my height offend you?”

“Let me reach that for you.”

“You can’t slap me if you can’t even reach my face.”

“I’m not tall, you’re just the size of an Oompa Loompa.”

“Huh? Who said that? I can’t see anyone.”

“It’s impossible to hide from you.”

“No, I don’t play basketball.”

“I’m not slowing down because you’re short.”

“You’re like a cute little fairy.” / “You’re like a small, terrifying gremlin.”

“My legs are long and sexy.”

“I’m not looking down on you. Except literally.”

“Aw, you look like a kid. How cute.”

“Being small makes you optimal for carrying.”

“You know what comes in small packages? Grenades.”

“All the cool presents come in big boxes. Like bouncy castles.”

“Why are you standing on the counter?”

“I may be tall, but my temper is short.” / “I may be tall, but my feelings are small. And fragile.”

“You don’t know the struggle when all pants/skirts/dresses are too short on you.”

“Let me block the sun for you.”

“I’ll buy you coffee if you hold my hand for five minutes.”

“Please just pretend you know me.”

“I thought you’d never show up!”

“One date to meet the family. Would you really say no to free food?”

“You only have to wear the ring until they notice.”

“What’s the harm if we’re never going to see each other again?”

“But I don’t even know your name!”

“I’m not sure we can pull this off.”

“They’re going to be furious if they find out.”

“I get to have a sexy partner for a day, and you get to have a story to tell your grandchildren.”

“Just kiss me and act like you do it every day.”

“If you keep staring at me like that, everyone’s going to see right through us.”

“Well, darling? Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”

“I know we’re strangers, but can you at least hug me back?”

“I’ll do all the talking, you just stand there and look pretty.”

“I can’t do this! I’m the worst liar ever!”

“I’ll do it, but only if we get to go on a real date later.”

“Look, I only hacked into your account to change your relationship status.”

“You look terrified. Please smile before someone thinks I threatened you.”

“This is temporary, I promise!”

“This is only temporary, right?”

“So how long do you need me to be your secret spouse?”

“I think you’re mistaking me for someone charming.”

“Of all the people here, why me?”