He knew ever since he heard from Naruto.
But now that sheâs walking toward him, her every step suffused with purpose, he canât help but feel his knees go weak. So he covers it up with bravado, hopes that he can survive through this and not make a fool of himself.
He may act silly. But he still has his pride. Heâs an Uchiha too, after all.
âYouâre either here to beg on your knees for me to hold you and save you from the clutches of my evil, boring brother orââ
She shoots him a baleful look before shaking her head and smiling indulgently at him, as one would with a small child.
Part of him loves her for that serene smile sheâs sporting; but part of him resents her for it. She always treats him like a child, never takes him seriously. What would it take, really, for her to realize that his feelings are just as true as his brotherâs?
ââ or youâre here to do what any decent lady would and reject me in person. Though, I warn you Sakura-chan, itâs not gonna hurt any less.â
When her smile morphs into an apologetic pout, he sighs and raises his hands in mock surrender.
âRight. Rejection it is.â
He tries to come up with one of his usual witty jokes that make light of any situation. But strangely enough, he canât.
His head is blank, his mouth dry, his hands trembling, and his heartâ
âNo.â His voice comes out in a strangled whisper, utterly uncharacteristic of him. âNo, donât. Donât be.â
âIâm really very sorry. Youâre a great person and Iâm sureââ
Donât patronize me, he wants to tell her. But she looks so fragile and soft and Sakura thatâ
âYou donât have to be sorry, Sakura-chan. You chose the right twin. Sasuke - heâs a good man.â
âYeah, he is. And for what itâs worthâ I really do love him. â
She smiles again; a sweet, loving smile that makes him burn with envy, makes him feel like heâs standing in the living room again, being berated by his father, being made to feel like heâs second best and never good enough and not at all like his twin brother.
He had answered that he was his own man, that he was an individual, that he didnât want to be the âclan puppetâ that his brother was.
(I want to be like him, dad. In fact, right now, more than anything in the world, I want to be him.)
He wants to hate Sasuke sometimes - but he always knew he couldnât. He treats his twin with blatant disrespect, always trying to embarrass him, always hitting on his girlfriend, always calling him names, calling him a cold fish, a boring old coot â a puppet, Sasuke hated being called that the most.
But in reality, he has nothing but the deepest respect for Sasuke.
Sasuke is the serious one, the responsible one. He has a brutal, ruthless, tunnel-visioned streak about him that makes him achieve whatever it was that he wants to achieve. Heâs an Uchiha - perhaps the truest one yet. Never breaking under pressure and always moving forward, his eye perpetually trained on his goals.
If any clan members had any doubts about his ability to be the Head (conditioned as they were to think Itachi - as the eldest - would be) then they certainly harbored none now.
Sasuke made sure of that.
Itachi was the smartest, the kindest - but he ran off to enter the peace corps, abandoning his baby brothers to the mercy of their autocratic father. For the clan, Itachi had been a paragon of righteousness up until that single moment of impulsiveness.
But his own opinion of the incident had always been different. He knew his big brother wasnât being impulsive. Itachi knew exactly what he wanted in life - and what he wanted was something more than just running a company like a well-oiled cog and turning one dollar into two.
He understood his older brother perfectly. He didnât want the burden of being the heir either. He and Sasuke were always painfully aware of how much pressure the clan put on Itachi. They pitied their belovedaniki, actually, but they were also secretly relieved that they werenât the ones who had to suffer, that they both had the time to run around and have fun with Naruto, Shikamaru, and Chouji.
Not many people still remembered, but he and Sasuke were actually inseparable when they were young. Sure, Sasuke had to be coaxed out of his shell sometimes, and was always the first one to give in and apologize to the grownups, and was always the one who turned down offers to play just so he could study and be like their big brother a bit more. But mostly, they were two peas in the same pod. They loved playing around in the mud together, loved doing pranks on the villagers, loved being twins.
But then Itachi ran away.
And Sasuke was chosen by their father to be the new heir.
He lost his twin too, then.
Not many people know, but Sasuke is actually the youngest. Ten minutes younger, to be exact. Itâs a secret that only Fugaku, Mikoto, and himself know. And it was entirely an accident that he found out.
His parents had been having an argument, and he had eavesdropped.
That was when he found out about his birthright.
That was also when he found out what his father thought of him.
âHey, are you okay? Iâm not used to seeing you all serious and broody - thatâs Sasukeâs role!â
Sakuraâs voice snaps him out of his introspection, reminding him brutally of his defeat.
âHm⌠yeah. yeah⌠I will be⌠Okay, that is.â
âIâll be okayâ, he repeats, more for his benefit than hers. He never has been too good at convincing himself. âAnyway, you donât have to worry, Sakura-chan. Iâve known for a long while that it would be like this.â
(Though it has never stopped me from hoping)
âYeah. Iâve known since I stole his clothes one day and strolled around the village.â
She scoffs, her expression almost comical, âYou did more than just 'stroll around the villageâ. I remember that day so clearly. You went to the town square and mooned everyone.â
âYes, well, Sasuke beat me up for thatâ, he smiles sheepishly, âand everyone saw through the prank as soon as they recovered from the initial shock of seeing the stuck-up Sasuke expose his tush anyway.â
âIt was really funny though.â
Sakura giggles, her voice sounding like tinkling bells. She really does look so soft. He thinks that itâs a wonder that this pastel shell holds such a strong, intelligent woman.
Sheâs lucky that sheâs the mayorâs daughter and Dr. Tsunadeâs apprentice. Otherwise, Fugaku wouldnât have given her the time of day. Not that Sasuke would follow his father then. He knows that Sasuke would stand up against the clan if it means keeping Sakura. Nobody has quite affected his brother more than her. Sasuke, on a rare moment of sentimentality (and inebriation), had referred to her as his anchor.
Besides, nobody but a woman like her could handle a man like Sasuke.
She was his 'restâ, the only one who could comfort him, wind him down after his hectic days of being clan head. She was the one who could make him forget his responsibilities for a while and remind him of how beautiful the world is. And she was also the one who would never hamper his goals, and instead help him reach them.
She really would make a great matriarch of the Uchiha Clan.
(And she could have been mine - should have been mine.)
He didnât know when his feelings for Sakura began to change into something genuine. Perhaps it was just a product of repetition. It had started out as a petty and mean act of revenge. Sakura was his brotherâs number one fan - the only girl, in fact, who preferred to follow the boring twin instead of the lively, vivacious one who kept handing out roses. Sasuke seemed to ignore her for the most part, as he was extremely busy with clan duties. But Sasuke also kept her close, in his own aloof way.
He saw that. It was clear as day. Sasuke cared for her.
And so he decided that he would take Sakura away from Sasuke, just as his brother took his birthright away - a fair exchange. Never mind that his younger twin had no idea he was doing so. Never mind that he didnât really want the responsibility either in the first place. Being Head is no walk in the park, after all, and he likes his little comforts and his lackadaisical lifestyle too much to give it up. He should be thankful that Sasuke bears the responsibility without complaint, really. But still-
He just wanted to take her away from his brother. To steal as he had been stolen from.
But Sakura never allowed that, despite his greatest efforts at wooing her.
Then somehow, it stopped being about stealing her away. It was just about having her. She was steadfast, loyal, perfect.
Be he canât have what Sasuke has of her, what Sasuke is determined to protect.
âYes, well, on that day where I stole his identity, I saw you. You waved at me, and you were just⌠I dunno⌠different. I think Iâve known since then.â
That was the time he knew it. This.
âIâ I really am sorry.â
âWell, Iâll forgive you if you accept this.â
He takes the rose he cut from his motherâs garden and hands it to her, the flower helping to restore his usual confidence. But she doesnât take it, just as she has never taken the other ones.
âYou, always the joker.â
âOh Iâm not joking, Sakura-chan, I havenât been joking with you for a long time. And I think you know that. Otherwise, you wouldnât be here telling me about your engagement in person and apologizing to me. You wouldnât have bothered. So accept it, please. This one will be the last.â
They stare at each other for a while as she accepts his gift, understanding passing between them - an unspoken acknowledgement of each other and a banishment of all the what ifâs and what couldâve beens.
He thinks she looks beautiful like that, a rose clutched in her hand and a soft smile gracing her lips.
âYouâre welcome, Sakura.â
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