Don't be a hoe

 Let’s say you’ve got a city where there’s tame white doves everywhere. They’re not pests, they’re regarded as sacred, holy protectors of the city, and the whole city cares for them and feeds them like they’re pets. They’re so tame because it’s a social taboo to hurt or scare one. Nice pretty doves :)

 Then someone points out that even if they’re not seen as pests, doesn’t having a completely unchecked feral pigeon population - that not only isn’t being culled, but actively fed and cared for - mean that there would be bird shit absolutely all over the place?

 A part of you wants to say no, because these are your nice, pretty doves. To explain that there’s a reason why they’re not shitting all over the place, maybe they’re super-intelligent and specifically bred and trained to not shit all over the place. The logistics of how, exactly, could anyone breed and train a flock of feral birds go unaddressed.

 An even worse solution would be to not have those birds, editing them out of the world. No, they spark joy, you can’t just toss them out!

 Now, consider: Yes, yes they would, but the city also has an extensive public sanitation service that’s occupied 90% of the time by cleaning bird shit off of everything. One of the most common last names in the area actually translates to “one who scrapes off dove shit”, and it’s a highly respected occupation. And thanks to the sheer necessity of constantly regularly cleaning everything, the city enjoys a much higher standard of cleanliness, and less public health issues caused by poor public sanitation.

Gorillas are magnificent, majestic creatures full of grace and beauty… except when it rains. 

My God.

If ever there was a job that made you despair for humanity.

I learned two things there: 

1. People are petty-ass bitches who can’t stand to see their “neighbor on welfare” doing “better” than they are.

2. 99.9999% of the time there was no actual fraud, just a GROSS lack of knowledge as to how the welfare system actually works on the part of both non-recipients.

Example: Had some guy report his neighbor for owning an “expensive antique car”. Said car was a 1978 Buick with no remaining paint, no hubcaps, and was at least fifth-hand. At the time, the year was 2002. I politely explained that a) that’s not a classic car and b) he should pity his neighbor the gas mileage and insurance costs. The caller said he had not thought of that and hung up.

My other favorite was someone calling to report that their “neighbor on welfare” who was a single mother with no income or support had her children in a “private school”. I asked what the name of the school was. Said private school is actually a charity-run orphanage and school for children who have no parents, or whose family situation is less than stable. I informed the caller of this and they hung up without a word.

Someone else called and felt that their “neighbor on welfare” should have to sell all their jewelry, antiques, family heirlooms, and collection of vintage sports memorabilia before they could be eligible to be “given free money” by the state.

The system is old, overtaxed, convoluted, and being forced to function in a way that was never intended. Like the workhouses of the 19th c, welfare was originally for out of work men. But the people who wound up using it were women, children, the disabled, and the elderly. This continues to this day.

Aang: