It’s not often we can say there are people who are part of making a show who really cared. They cared about people. They cared about the fans. And they cared about letting the fans know that beneath the costumes, there were humans there ready to discuss what they could. I’d like to celebrate Gabe Khouth. Gabe Khouth had a heart attack while driving his motorcycle on July 23rd *. He was 46 years old.

Most of the Once Upon a Time fandom did its best to ignore, belittle, and say the most vile things when it came to the dwarfs, their actors, and their character development. But it’s all not true. The truth of it all is? They’re wonderful people and Gabe was the most visible on social media ready to engage with any questions and also answer with screwball humor. Dad jokes? Forget dad jokes. It was the realm of the absurd. Millennial humor friendly, Gabe Khouth was there. The man behind Sneezy (and Tom Clark the pharmacist) was truly a compassionate man who didn’t ask for recognition for any good he did. If you’re trying to snoop through his acting roles and charity, they’re not really plastered over twitter, instagram, and other sources. They’re just quietly mentioned because they’re things he believed in. To me, that speaks volumes and shows his compassion and love. He was also willing to listen to those impacted by these issues. In the early days of the fandom, I had messaged him over Once Upon a Time’s messages and we did talk about it’s diversity and how to make it stronger.

If you’ve been nosing around on Twitter, maybe you’ve spotted this before me. This really deserves a lot of sharing and if you could reblog it and possibly give anything, even just a little bit, that would be wonderful.

Puppies support trans folx!!

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I re-blogged a picture of a little girl, dressed as Tiana, hugging the face actress who plays Tiana at one of the Disney Parks, and noted that everyone should have their princess.  And a few people have now contacted me basically going “no, only straight white people can have princesses if you stick with the classics.”

Um.

No.

I am a folklorist, and it’s time for some Fun With Folklore.

First off, very few Princesses/fairy tale heroines who are going to become Princesses because that’s what you do are actually defined by specific physical attributes.  You have Snow White, who yes, requires the “skin as white as snow” etc, but that’s to make her an alien beauty and justify the actions of her stepmother.  She belongs to the Aarne-Thompson tale type 709, which is commonly referred to as “Snow White,” but which contains a hell of a lot more, including “Bella Venezia”, “Myrsina”, “Nourie Hadig” and “Gold-Tree and Silver-Tree.“  All those links will take you to Wikipedia.  Click them.  Note that NOT ONE of those girls is defined by her appearance, beyond “incredibly beautiful.“  “Nourie Hadig” is Armenian in origin; you can bet that girl was not white as snow.  (Note that I do not actually care for the “Nourie Hadig” 709 variant, due to using a Roma girl as the main adversary, but that’s another story.)  Any story you want to tell is going to have variants where the heroines are never described!  You know why?

BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO WERE TELLING THESE STORIES UNDERSTOOD THAT IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN TO SEE THEMSELVES IN THE MIRROR OF THE TALE.

There are fairy tales about people with disabilities, ranging from the physical (missing limbs, missing eyes, missing tongues) to the emotional (girls who cannot smile, boys who cannot feel fear).  There are fairy tales that end in same-sex marriage.  There’s even an excellent fairy tale about gender identity, “The Princess Who Became A Prince,” in which our hero has always felt he was a boy, but tried to be a dutiful daughter, until a dragon stole a neighbor princess and he had to ride to rescue the girl in order to save the kingdom.  One misaimed curse later, and wham, our new-minted prince is finally outwardly as he had been all along on the inside.

THIS IS JUST AS OLD AND TRUE AND SCHOLASTIC AS CINDERELLA AND THE OTHERS.

The “big fairy tales” of today are the ones that someone seized on as marketable.  We have the power, as drivers of media, to say that we want more diversity.  We want Princesses of every race, creed, and religion, and we have the folklore and fairy tales to make them real.  We want our transgender Princess (although wow would the marketing be problematic).  Saying “the classics” are 100% about straight white people reduces the past to a place where only straight whiteness existed, and where no other children ever needed stories.  And that’s not what the past was.

It’s a trope almost as universally known as the flying carpet. It’s straightforward. It’s really poetic.

Just pass under the rainbow.

Also how much did you look into Michael Coleman’s stuff? Cause I just did and here’s a link. Was curious about this. A lot of the allegations were dropped. A lot of the stuff he also seems to have witnesses who say otherwise. And I know, we should believe the women because it’s so hard for them to come forward. But, here’s the thing. When people lie about sexual assault? It makes it harder for the real victims to come forward here. No one ever charged him. No one had enough to charge him. The bigger stuff has been disproved or allegations have been removed. And a lot of it seems to be a big misunderstanding. So I mean, go ahead and hate him if you want? But we do have innocent until proven guilty for a reason, and I for one don’t want to see more people getting away with sexual harassment or assault because they believe every accusation is a lie. So in cases like this we need to make sure the stories have at least a tiny bit credibility, and in this case, they don’t seem to.

But, if you’re bound and determined to hate anyone who even seems to support sexual harrassment, okay. got one to add to the list for you. Lana Parrilla. “ [At the end of 1x07] the Evil Queen in fairytale land said, “Take him to my bedchamber!” which I kind of like — it’s like the dominatrix in her, which is fun to play, even if it’s just a small moment. But I think in Storybrooke there are some real feelings for Graham, and you’ll see that in the upcoming episode this Sunday, you’ll see how there is a genuine care and love for Graham, so its not superficial at any level. It’s not surface, it’s not solely physical. There is a void that she’s trying to fill, and it’s not only with Henry; Graham is filling that void, or did fill that void, to some degree as well.”

Lana Parrellia refers to Regina as a dominatrix instead of a rapist. She refers to the rape of Graham as a sign of “genuine care and love” for Graham. So if we wanna boycot anyone who supports rape culture? Let’s add her to the list.

They would have to lug this spinning wheel on a long journey, where roads likely weren’t safe. Rumple couldn’t do it, again because of his leg. Bae was young. Milah would probably have to carry that spinning wheel herself.

And what would happen if they got attacked by highway robbers? Rumple would be in no shape to fight them, and if Milah has been lugging a spinning wheel it’s not feasible that she could either.

The point here is that it’s just not that easy. Restarting a new life somewhere else? Great idea. But is it possible? I really don’t think you can blame Rumple for thinking that it wasn’t. We don’t see him respond too much to her idea, but in the episode that this discussion takes place, we see him reminding her a lot about Bae’s needs. It’s likely that he was thinking the journey would be dangerous for Bae. It’s really hard to blame a father for trying to protect his son by making the safe choice.

So, no. No you aren’t. Self loathing is different than normal hatred. Do you hate trans people as a whole? No? Then you aren’t transphobic. It’s that simple.

Think about it this way. No one even considers that women who hate themselves are sexist. It’s the same for other things as well. Hating yourself, and hating everyone who has a similar trait to you, is not the same thing.

Now self loathing is still not good. It’s something you want to work on. But self loathing does not, and will never, make you transphobic, or sexist, or racist, or whatever sort of bigotry you can think of. Hating one person does not mean you hate everyone that shares one trait with that person.

My name is Jake, currently I'm 16, turning 17 soon. I'm trans, have been looking forward to starting testosterone this year ever since my gender therapist said she'd help me with it. The thing is,, my mom won't let me. She says she's very supportive of me and stuff, but she won't help me or even think about helping me out if I ever have to pay for anything. She also told my dad not to help pay for anything either. I live in LA and only have Medi-Cal since I'm not from the US, I've emailed an LGBTQ+ center here that said they could assist those with Medi-Cal so I've emailed them. I was initially set for the Children's Hospital but they never called me or informed me about anything. If anyone else lives here or knows of a place maybe I'd be able to get testosterone from that'd be great.

Maybe a way to help my mother support me on this journey better? Tips? I don't know. I just feel so alone throughout all of this and it hurts not being able to talk to anyone properly about anything. I know not everyone will be supportive and my mother may not like it, but if there's a way to help change her mind, I'd love some tips with it. Thank you so much if you do help me, this really means so much to me.

It might help if you could find some resources for her to look at. Try suggesting that she find a support group for trans parents, so she can talk about her worries to someone who can understand where she’s coming from. If all else fails, see if you can bring her with you to your doctor so the doctor can explain the affects of the hormones to her.

If she really is supportive of you like she claims, then this is likely about the hormones themselves. It can be a scary step for a lot of trans men, and a lot of loved ones might worry about us when we decide to take this step. See if it is just about the hormones, and if it is, see if you can convince her that this is the right thing for you.