moved to xocatbro

I get pregnant, throw a “gender reveal” party, cut open the cake to reveal a landslide of green m&ms. “what does green mean??” my relatives ask, scandalized. in their confusion, they fail to notice that the doors have been barred. they are now my captive audience. “settle in, folks,” I say, “it’s time for gender theory 101. I have slides.”

replace every vowel in ur url with oob

or even just ur name. my roommate is named joanne so her name is jooboobnnoob and shes on the floor laughing

Shoutout to fat girls in the summertime. Shoutout to fat girls who wear jeans even though it’s 90 degrees because they don’t like the way their legs look. Shoutout to fat girls who wear a t-shirt to swim because they don’t like the way people look at their stretch marks. Shoutout to fat girls that only wear dresses with sleeves because they don’t like that their arms aren’t perfectly proportioned. Shoutout to fat girls who wear cardigans with button-downs because they don’t like the spaces between the buttons buckling because of their boobs. Shoutout to fat girls who don’t care about any of that stuff and wear whatever they want. Shoutout to fat girls who don’t want to care about that stuff, but do anyway. Shoutout to fat girls who have to work very hard everyday not to care about that stuff. Shoutout to all fat girls in the summertime. You’re all absolutely fantastic and you’re doing fine. Be patient with yourself, you deserve it.

this pleases me greatly

This makes me so happy

I didn’t think it could get better but it got better

the hotter it gets the more i realize i only fuck with the summer superficially and in concept

#please do not completely erase female characters in order to accommodate your m/m ship#this includes when you make eliza’s only role to be an enthusiastic booster of lams#with no goals or feelings of her own#historical and musical elizas are both people who are slow to forgive and wrathful when hurt#by cinnamon rolling her you are flattening her character#and turning her into a static beard#hamilton (via azulaludgate)

holy shit this is so gay

“When I got my first cat, it changed me. There is something about holding a cat that makes your anger melt away. And if someone does something that upsets me—I have to remember my cat. I can’t keep my cat if I get into trouble.”

Cats now control the prisons. They now have an army.

This post went exactly where I expected. Well done.

do you ever want to gently float up to someone and whisper “this isn’t a debate; i am actually educated on the subject and i’m telling you you’re wrong”

my life