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Like, sometimes I wanna get off to ppl sharing a cold or sneezing on the bus or dmth, but I either need to go lurk on a specific blog, or risk seeing posts about an old movie or real-life scary stuff.

We already have great tags like #messfucker and #coldfucker but #contagionfucker is too long maybe?

So, I wrote this fic a while ago (during my super horny peak lol), and I found it today when I looked through some fic folders, polished it up a bit, and decided to post. It has plenty of mess and hints at contagion. 

CW: MESS

***

Jenny had the worst cold in recent memory and bad as she felt about abandoning her post, there was no way she’d make it to work today. She had texted her boss to let him know as soon as she woke up to the headachy, snot-dripping reality that was her life right now, and he had called her up. Probably expecting to be able to talk her into ‘sucking it up’, but it only took about ten seconds for him to conclude that yeah, she really was sick, and if she somehow managed to drag herself to work, the only thing she’d accomplish would be to pass her snotty plague on to the rest of the team.

Kriia slumped in the too-bright, over-sterilized hospital waiting room, wedged uncomfortably into the rigid plastic chair, her body thrumming with heat and exhaustion. Every inch of her face ached—from the pressurized throb behind her cheekbones to the raw, chapped edges of her twitching nostrils. Her breath kept catching in her throat, rising in sharp, gasping hitches that never reached the release her body was begging for.

“hh-HHHhh… h-hehh… H-hh’—!”

Her crimson hair clung damply to her flushed cheeks, and sweat beaded along her brow despite the chill crawling over her skin. A thin, humiliating ribbon of clear, watery mess had begun to leak from one nostril, trailing down the slope of her philtrum and catching just above her trembling lips. She sniffled, a congested, gurgling sound, and wiped it with the heel of her palm—but it was already back a moment later.

Her chest rose and fell with every torturous false start, each breath drawing in just enough air to stoke the unbearable tickle deep in her sinuses, but never enough to push it over the edge. Her glowing purple eyes were glassy, fluttering shut as she tilted her head back slightly, jaw slack, mouth open, waiting—praying—for the sneeze to come.

It didn’t.

“Hhh-huhhh… huhh-hh—nnnghh…”

She whimpered beneath her breath, too worn out to be embarrassed anymore, one trembling hand curling around the crumpled tissue in her lap like a lifeline. Her other hand braced on the armrest as she rocked forward slightly, desperate for relief, nostrils flaring, her whole body wound tight like a spring.

And still—no release. Just more pressure. More burning. More mess she couldn’t keep up with.

Across the room, a nurse called out a name that wasn’t hers. Kriia didn’t even lift her head. She just sniffled wetly again, defeated, whispering through chapped lips:

A: Oh I'm so full of this cold... Hegtschuhh! Ugh, sorry, it's so messy...!

New game; contagion roulette 😆

Six hot people that sneeze a lot. Five of them have allergies. The sixth has a cold at the peak of contagiousness.

You have to pick one of them to have dinner with. They're cooking. They set the table. They don't cover any of their numerous, wet sneezes.

"My love, I want you to sneeze that cold right into me... I know you've been sneezing it everywhere in the house already, but I want it directly from you."

“I think I caught a bit of a-a… ahhh! hh—hh’nggKtshh!… hht’tCHhhuu—euhh…” He sighs before finishing, “A cold.” You bless him before beckoning him to come closer and he knows exactly what to do. He mumbles, snuggling into your side, rubbing his nose with the sleeve of his knitted jumper. “I’b okay, though. Just… y’know. A little… snff sneezy. A l-lot sneezy, actually…”

Gentle, but firm, you pull his body to your chest, noticing the little shivers that have taken over his usual, self-assured demeanour. “It’s okay, you know I’ll look after you.” You comfort him.

“I’m sorry you have to see me like this,” He whispers against your neck, sniffling pitifully. “I was gonna warn you, but I—hh-huhh—hhuh’KSSHheww-uhh!! snff—nghh, couldn’t make it past the first sentence.”

Your fingers are already brushing his hair back, tilting his flushed face up to yours.

“I think your nose might need a stern talking to,” you say playfully, though your touch is nothing but soft and loving.

“…It’s a very bad influence on me,” He laughs with a weak smile. “It’s out of c-control— hhuh… HEH’CHhhheww!! snnrk—‘scuse be…”

But I’m also so intrigued by alternative dynamics? Like, I’ve always been obsessed with caretaking among friends, but lately I’ve become fixated on friends with benefits/situationships?

I just love that there’s a bit of uncertainty around it, a hint of awkwardness. Say they’re mid-20s, friends first, for a little while, now FWB. She’s staying at his place and comes down with a cold.

She wants him to take care of her so badly but she’s also embarrassed and doesn’t want to be gross. He on the other hand really likes her but he’s also just a silly guy in his 20s and a bit out of his depth. I’m picturing:

- They’re cuddling on the couch, she sniffles and stifles sneezes repeatedly. At some point he goes “You alright?” and she just says “Yeah” kinda softly and leans back into him

- She asks him for tissues, blushing. He says “Errrr, not sure. Maybe in the cabinet under the sink… Why?” She looks down and says “My nose is just a little runny, sorry!”

- At some point she comes clean that she isn’t feeling well. She asks “Do you think I have a fever?”, which finally prompts him to look at her more closely and feel her forehead. She leans into the cool touch, melting a little internally, she just can’t help it.

- Before falling asleep, they spoon. She desperately stifles three sneezes (stifling them makes her sneeze more). He’s half-asleep, mumbles “You alright?” “Sorrry”, she says, “just had to sneeze.” “Oh”, he replies sleepily. “Bless you.” Then he’s out like a light and she’s sniffling, lying in his arms, feeling shivery.

- The next morning she has to leave for work. She never stays long the morning after. As she gets ready, she sneezes multiple times. He frowns at her. “You sure you want to go? You seem… pretty sick.” “I’m okay”, she says shyly. “I have to.” He glances at his bed uncertainly. “You know… I’m working remotely today. You could stay if you wanted to. Just hang out. Spend the day in bed.” But this feels too intimate, so she leaves.