Submit Anon: Why I Left the Hetalia Fandom
Be forwarned, this tale is a long one. Sorry if this story is all over the place. If any readers recognize these people, do not go after them. Real names will not be used in this story, so weâll call these âHetaliansâ in question:
*âLudwigâ, a young woman who Oliver had/has feelings for.
*âOliverâ, the star of this tale, and the ringleader of a cosplay group.
*âMatthewâ, the oldest member of the cosplay group, and the only other male besides me. We were very briefly a thing.
*âFeliâ, me, the one who had to put up with all this. Iâm autistic, and have some sensory issues; I also donât usually catch typical âcuesâ right away.
*âFrancisâ, and âKikuâ, two of Oliverâs sympathizers, friends, and members of her group.
*âTinoâ, a Finland cosplayer who honestly was kind of bossy.
I first met these Hetalians when I first started out cosplaying. It was the Saturday of a certain con that I met Ludwig, who, while an attractive woman, I only saw as a friend (remember this as we go on).
We chatted on Tumblr for awhile, and one day she asked if I was going to the Hetalia Day meetup that year. Not knowing about it until then, I said yes! Because of course I wanted to expand my circle of friends, and if these would-be friends have the same interests as me, then that makes it a hundred times easier.
So the day of the meetup came, and so far, everything was fine. Ludwig came about an hour after I did, and unbeknownst to me, and brought a friend of hers along. This is how I met Oliver.
(Quick side note before we continue: Iâm the type of person, who even non-romantically, if Iâm comfortable enough with a person, I hug, hold hands, etc. willingly, as I otherwise donât particularly care to touch other people.)
So Ludwig and I head from one pavilion to the other (the meetup was at a rather large park), and as weâre walking, holding hands as we do, we suddenly hear this girl yell at us, and despite being nearly a foot shorter than me (Iâm 5â7â, she was like 4â8â, I think?) nearly pulled me to the ground, with such force that I nearly did lose my balance! Now Iâm not the assertive type at all, nor did I really understand at the time why Oliver did that to begin with, so I back off a little for the time being.
In fact, I nearly forget about the incident until almost a year later, when Oliver volunteered to pick me up to take me to A-Fest, since I couldnât (and still canât OTL) drive, and get me to my hotel. We have somewhat of a decent conversation on the way there. Mostly about other cons weâve been to previously. Oliver also brought up about Ludwig and how âshe was the best thing to ever happen to [her]â. And suddenly her behavior at the meetup made sense to me. Or, it sort of did, I would end up needing a few more hints that came when we picked up Ludwig so we could all go get our badges together, and so I could get checked into the hotel I was staying at.
So among all other things I had with me, a video camera was one of them, because I wanted to (and would still like to) try out the whole âvlogingâ thing. As soon as Ludwig is in the shot, however, Oliver snaps at me saying âDonât film my woman!â
I was taken aback, because since when was she your woman? It was established prior to picking her up that Ludwig is only interested in men (cis men, specifically), and that she already had a boyfriend. And there was certainly no polygamy involved. Yet, this whole thing was still going over my head.
Anyway, I get checked in, and even though I booked the hotel room, Tino, who I was unfortunately rooming with, starts acting like sheâs the boss. She snapped at me when I didnât look her in the eyes, even though thatâs something Iâm not comfortable with (eye contact is very distracting to me), she wouldnât let me go to sleep until four in the morning, and that was only because I had started shaking and crying from behind so sleep deprived. And because she prioritized con so much, she barely let me eat, or bathe, or brush my teeth. Except maybe one time each, each day? If even that? And despite bringing four characters to cosplay, she only allowed me to wear one! One character, two outfits, the whole con! And she forced me to go to the rave with her; I donât go to raves, or as I like to call them âsensory overload imminentâ, so just imagine how well that wentâŚ
There was an incident where I had accidentally left my video camera and my momâs camera that I was borrowing at the Hetalia photo shoot location; I did get them back a day later (thank you whoever dropped them off at lost and found!), but at the time, I was really upset about it, and Tino wouldnât let me go look for them, and I ended up having a meltdown because of that, and from being bossed around, and from being so sleep deprived. Did she care? Only because she wanted to get back to con going! Hell, a random passerby was more concerned than she was!
Neglecting her health bit her in the ass on the last day of con, however, as she caught con plague. I donât wanna say that she had it coming, but she did. And when my shenanigans with her ended, in came Matthew.
Now, at this point, I barely knew him from online, along with past cons and meet ups, but I soon found myself spending Saturdays with him. From there, we became fast friends over the course of a year. He got me into a few other anime titles as well, yet when I tried to get him into my favorite games (since I do mostly prefer video games over anime), he wouldnât have any of it. He even called Kirby âa video game for babiesâ once when I wore my Kirby t-shirt!
(Also, funny thing: even though heâs older than me, and owns every Nintendo console, he canât get the Koopalingsâ namesakes correct! Thatâs like, Nintendo 101 stuff, too!)
Despite this, I somehow managed to develop feelings for him (and I still donât know why). We went on, maybe three dates at most, before calling it quits.
And Matthew, if you are reading this: Yes, I will admit I was very immature then. I will also admit that arousal is an emotion that I am not 100% familiar with. It was a very confusing mess I should have left you out of. In those regards, I apologize for giving you any unnecessary stress. That is all I will apologize for.
While that whole tangent with Matthew was going on, Oliver decided to start an Another Color Hetalia (better known as 2P) cosplay group, and roped as many of us in as possible. Even though I was assigned a character, I never even got around to starting on the costume, which was for the better really.
It was during this, I learned once and for all that Oliver thought I was trying to steal Ludwig. At Hetalia Day 2014, we were all there, but when I went up to Ludwig to try and say hello to her, some other Hetalians, who I presume were some of Oliverâs cronies, stopped me from going up to her.
âI just want to say âhiâ!â I said.
âAre you sure about that, Feli?â one of them asked. I just walked away totally confused, wondering what I said or did. I reached two conclusions after the meetup:
1. Oliver must not really like me that much.
2. She thinks Iâm trying to steal away Ludwig, even though I have no reason to.
I unfriend her online not long after, but I was still a part of the cosplay group. For some reason.
Anyway, in November that year, there was yet another cosplay meet up I wanted to go to. However, there was no way I could get there myself, as my mom, who would normally take me to these things, would be working on that day. So I ask Francis if she, or anyone else going, could come and get me that day. I ask her at least twice, and she completely ignored me. The day of the meetup comes and goes, and I end up missing it. I told Francis it was mean of her to ignore me, and some friend she was to just forget about one of her friends (in summary; I forget the exact words I used), and unfriended her.
The next day, Oliver messaged me, telling to âsay [Iâm] sorry to Francis.ââŚExcept Francis was the one at fault, not me?? I never apologize, since she deserved what I said.
One day on Facebook, our cosplay group (yes, I was still somehow a member!) was debating on having an Ask-a-2P Panel, and which con to have it at (since each of our 2015 con schedules were different all around). The main concern was having everyone at the same place at the same time. I took this problem seriously, and decided to make a suggestion.
Now, you know how in theater, every actor has an understudy (aka, a âback-upâ actor of sorts to practice alongside the main actor, in the case they need to fill in)? I thought, since Hetalia is a popular cosplay, especially this AU in particular, finding understudies wouldnât be a problem at all. Plus, it would guarantee we would always have a complete set! Thatâs how I made sense of it.
Now, I didnât expect everyone to agree, but it was still an idea worth keeping in mind, at least. Evidently, Oliver didnât think so. She snapped at me for even thinking of such an idea and was all âdonât ever say again!â and Iâm like Bitch, chill out. It was just a suggestion!
I forget about the incident for awhile until 2015, and Ikkicon both come along. Iâm waiting in line with Matthew for our badges, when he says it.
âFeli, apologize to Oliver when you see her. âCause that wasnât cool. This panel/group is like her baby!â
Oh my lord. It was just a freaking suggestion. It didnât help I was already irritable with other things going on during that time. Now they are going to dump this on me, too? It took all my self control not to snap!
And after that con, I finally ended up leaving the cosplay group. Not because I hadnât started on my costume, or because of my con schedule, but because I disagreed with Kiku on a headcanon.
Because I didnât agree with everyone else on some stupid headcanon, nearly everyone in the chat (sans anyone who was offline at the time) gained up on me until I finally snapped at them, told them off, and left. I got one last message from Oliver, but didnât bother reading it. I blocked her, Francis, Kiku, and Ludwig on Facebook.
Think thatâs the last of it? Think again!
Fast forward to A-Fest 2015. Iâm having second thoughts about going because of last time. Matthew insisted I come anyway (mostly since I was rooming with him, and owed my share). Now prior to this, I was 90% sure he said he was going to come get me on his way to con. So imagine my shock when he says he will not be picking me up, but is picking up Oliver. I tell him off, decide Iâm not going to con. But a mutual friend says they can come get me. I reluctantly, and regretfully, agree.
I end up spending little to no time at the con itself. Matthew got con plague on the first day (haha!). Half the time, I debated whether or not to call my mom to come get me and take me home!
After that con, I find out from Matthew that Oliver âhas nothing against meâ (as if!) and âwanted to talk to me during A-Festâ (yeah, right!). Unfortunately for her, I want nothing to do with her, or the fandom for that matter, anymore.
Now, Iâm not saying everyone in the Hetalia fandom is bad, but these ones in particular really ruined it for me. I guess the only good ending here, is that I am no longer affiliated with those people, and have since found new interests with fandoms that are billion times better!