Blorbo Torment Nexus

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I like to imagine that in TIAGICWAP future Dipper and Mabel do exist! Years down the road, when the family is immortal and earth has settled after being conquered—and is on its way to being rebuilt as part of Bill’s new empire—Ford starts letting his family out of the hat house on occasion on supervised trips. Even further in the future, Ford might allow less closely supervised trips for certain family members.

It’s during one of these outings that one of Shermie’s kids (now grown up) slip away to have some freedom and fun. He does a whole “get drunk at a bar and find a one night stand” deal and whoops! The girl got pregnant from it!

And that’s how Dipper and Mabel are born :)

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Depends on if the person just stepped in to fight the cartel and help Stan out, or if the person had been with Stan for a while helping him run from Ford before the cartel caught them.

In the first case, Ford would let the person keep their life, as a thanks to helping protect Stan. Ford doesn’t really feel things like gratitude with other people, but he’d understand they helped and repay that by letting them go.

In the second case, Ford would be angry at them for keeping Stan from him. Them fighting the cartel to protect Stan wouldn’t matter much when they would just try to hide Stan from him and run with Stan. Ford would not forgive them that.

I'm curious what you think Gift Ford would make of Negotiator Stan and what Gift Stan would make of Negotiator Ford? Or just that general situation lmao.

I can't help but think Negotiator Stan would be in two minds a bit; thrilled that this is a Ford that threw everything in the air and said 'fuck you' to the world that's never done anything for him and taken that power for himself. I don't think Negotiator Stan would be particularly offput by the way that Gift Ford is either lmao; he's a bit of an obsessive weirdo himself. But then again, I think Stan - who is angling for an eventuality where he and his Ford are equals would be a little offput by the purposeful denial of power for Gift Stan. His Ford clearly can't take care of himself and he's had to step in - he's the protector. That's his job, why are you taking his job? You deny your Stanley his purpose.

Meanwhile, Negotiator Ford is staring back at Gift Stan like. Blink twice if you need help? Maybe we can escape if we work together? He's very anxious and untrusting but if this guy is in the same situation as him... maybe they can sort something out. He wouldn't hesitate to tell Stan the sorts of things Bill was capable of or show him what he did to him as a way of like warning him to not underestimate him.

Yet the situations are kinda different in a drastic sense because... well, because Negotiator Stan is always planning for Ford to join him as an equal, his arrangements aren't very great. He lets Bill treat Ford in a demeaning way because it's basically just a 'hazing ritual' for him to be treated a bit like how he is in canon (minus the torture); plus if he really wants it to stop, he can just join them. If humans are an inferior lifeform, and he insists on being human, that's basically him choosing team powerless. Not that he minds too much, but he is eager for them to be working together at some point. Meanwhile, Gift Stan is relatively given everything he could want and treated fairly kindly, but without any hope for that sort of 'freedom' he could possibly want. They're both sort of condescended to in very similar but very different ways, but indeed the 'aw you can't make your own decisions' brothers prosper lol.

the 'aw you can't make your own decisions' brothers prosper 🤝🤝

(For those unaware, this is Negotiator Stan)

These guys would be such an interesting combo. Gift Ford is always a little put off by dimensions where Bill chose Stan instead of him, but one look at Negotiator Ford and he’s like “ah, I see.”

Gift Ford would be happy for a chance to talk with a Stan who isn’t sensitive. One he doesn’t have to hold back around and can be evil brothers with :) He completely understands Negotiator Stan’s decision in trapping Negotiator Ford away for his own good, and that sometimes brothers don’t make the best decisions and need decisions to be made for them :)

He’s affectionate with Negotiator Stan, but also still condescending, because as much as Negotiator Stan is a henchmaniac too, Gift Ford will always think he knows better because he’s the older brother. In this case, he’s for Negotiator Stan trying to get Negotiator Ford on his side and join Bill and be equals—because any poor Stan needs their big brother! Negotiator Ford isn’t doing a great job right now of taking care of his little brother. Of course Negotiator Stan needs him as an equal.

Equality is not needed in Gift Ford’s case, of course, because he’s the big brother. So him being the one with power and control only makes sense, and Gift Stan doesn’t need to worry about all those things, just trust his brother to care for him :) If he has no power and is completely dependent on Gift Ford for everything, then he’ll never try to leave because he’ll feel too helpless without his Ford :)

They might have an argument about the protector thing though. Gift Ford firmly believes that a Stan’s purpose is to exist as a Ford’s twin. Why does he have to do anything? He’s the younger brother, he’s the one who should be protected and taken care of! What does Negotiator Stan mean protecting is his job? He just made that up! He can’t just make things up and claim that as every Stan’s purpose!

(Gift Ford ignores the fact that he too made up what he thinks Stan’s purpose is. Of course anything he decides is correct because he is always right.)

Despite that, they’d probably get along well, being an obsessive weirdo 🤝 obsessive weirdo duo

Gift Stan meanwhile would feel quite sympathetic to Negotiator Ford. He knows what it’s like to be locked away and have your autonomy and choices taken from you. It would be a little weird to him, to see it in reverse, and he would be both appalled that another version of himself did this to his Ford, and also a little jealous. Because hey, why does that Stan get cool powers and I don’t? :(

Gift Stan and Negotiator Ford would probably do a lot of mutual complaining about their over-possessive brothers with each other, and Gift Stan… actually might be convinced to help Negotiator Ford escape his situation. But even if they did make it out, Negotiator Ford would find that Gift Stan would just watch him go and not follow. Because in the end, Gift Stan can’t bear to leave Gift Ford.

Though Gift Stan would also try and sell Negotiator Ford on pretending to join the dark side, then once he has powers and can do what he wants, turning on Bill and leaving. Just scam himself into position to be able to be strong enough to oppose Bill and Negotiator Stan.

Bad news! Fake grandpa bought stan a spot at west coast tech! Good news? Some of the classes actually make a lot more sense- especially with the whole office hours thing. And apparently stan has some sort of learning disabilities? He isn’t just lazy or stupid? This whole fake grandson think kind of rocks actually. It’s weird thinking he might actually be worth something. Well. Fake grandpa’s grandson is at least.

Except fake grandpa may be old and going blind but he isnt a fool- his real grandson would never willingly visit- disappointingly- but stan is a good enough substitute that it actually takes a while to notice! Might as well give him a little treat by changing the social security number the college has to stan’s and then legally changing stan’s name. All the problems are solved now! A [last name] can still inherit the robotics empire, and stan can have options :) of course he wont be taking those options :) fake grandpa will not let his empire fall into his useless son’s hands or that even more useless biological grandson.

So stan is both being functionally held hostage by the guy he was originally conning and also recieving mysterious hate mail from someone upset about how stan’s inventions are “clearly cheap ripoffs”

Stan goes into his fancy apartment one day, expecting one of those fancy tutors, or worse any other of fake grandpa’s minions, and who is standing there looking unbelievably pissed off except for ford. Stan’s immediate response? Beg ford to swap with him. Theyre twins! They did it as kids! Why not now! And ford can go to his fancy west coast school! Anyways the switch needs to happen in the next five minutes or the offer is rescinded ha ha dont ask why—

Anyways they do end up taking down fake grandpa somehow amidst all the yelling and arguing and pretending to not feel emotions. Actually no wait fiddleford does it- totally on accident with a robot. And then there’s mystery trip shenanagins and everyone has a good time send tweet.

I am a big fan of supportive(evil) and also any identity based shenanagins where ford and stan have beef but neither of them know who the other is

Anyways i was trying to summon up the juice for some dark for or stan but nope its comedy of errors/adventure time

Real grandson hasn’t seen his grandfather in so long that Stan manages to fool grandpa for a bit as the fake grandson lol

Well Stan you can have the inheritance and money, you just also have to run the robotics empire as well! Win-win? What’s so bad about that? Job security! :) Don’t forget having to maybe fight off real son and grandson when they realize grandpa is leaving everything to this random guy he adopted into the family!

Kind of sounds like Stan is holding himself hostage here 😭 he won’t leave cause he wants that money, but he could just cut his losses anytime and run. He knows how to change his identity and hide. But he won’t do that because as unexpected as some of this is, it’s also a nicer life than Stan was living before :)

I’m so curious as to what fake grandpa needs to be taken down for. Is his robotics company evil?? Why does a tech guy have minions??? What kind of robots are they creating?

I like the idea that Fiddleford does it either way lmao. Baby’s first rampaging robot. Who better to take down a robot guy than another robot guy who might be secretly even more unhinged?

I also think it’s hilarious if Stan has been putting out these cheap rip off inventions to try and impress fake grandpa in the beginning, and Ford is so offended by their very creation that he sends hate mail to the creator, which happens to be Stan 😭😭😭 Ford has no chill. Their existence personally offends him and he has to go to whoever this guy is and tell him that to his face.

Oh it’s Stan.